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Twitter Users Share Their Creatively Disrespectful Nonsense Insults

With just a little creativity and a dash of abstract imagery, almost any noun and verb combination can become a decent sounding insult, you lemon-lipped crotch-punch. Twitter users took the time to come up with and share their own. For some more pointed insults, here are rare insults that struck people to their core.

Twitter users share nonsensical creative insults.
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Silly Puns And Clever Jokes That Are Technically Accurate

If your like us, your brain lusts for literal jokes and dumb puns that are technically accurate. They're not exactly factually correct, but they're close enough to be funny. You can't argue with jokes and memes that are technically not wrong. Well, you can, but who would want to?

Literally true memes, jokes, and puns.
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Enthusiastic Daughter Cheers Dad On In Gas Station Bathroom Emergency

Here's one dad's story of what happened when he was stuck between a rock and a hard place in an Oregon gas station bathroom. Apparently his daughter remembered all the toilet training support and he got played a reverse-Uno card. Parents often find themselves in strange moments with their kids being weird and dumb.

Funny story of dad taking daughter into bathroom and she cheers him on.
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Quora User Explains Why Cutting a Tomato Won't Cause an Explosion

We feel dumb admitting this, but we've definitely had this question too. Turns out there's a few reasons people don't frequently die in nuclear explosions every time someone tries to prepare a salad. For another interesting thing regarding the physics of nuclear explosions, here's the time tumblr uncovered the legend of the fastest manhole cover ever.

Quora user get answer to question of if cutting a tomato could split an atom.
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We don't want to over explain what this crab video is. Either you'll really like it or you won't. If you don't, we apologize for your poor taste.

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Stuff That Looks like Tasty Food but Isn't

When you consider what proportion of the things in our world are edible, it's kind of a miracle that we can find anything to eat at all. And these doors, landscapes and random objects are an extra wrench thrown into the gears of what looks good to eat. There are just a lot of objects out there that look like tasty food but are totally not.

pics tasty snacks silly food forbidden delicious funny stupid - 9804549
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Obvious Things People Realized Way Too Late

There's so many references, basic information, and shorthand floating around in general discourse that if you miss one thing, or hear something wrong one time, you're bound to make a stupid mistake for years and years. Plus, people think it's pretty funny if you consistently use a word wrong and are inclined to not tell you. There's a lot of basic information out there that ashamed people realize way too late.

People tell stories of basic information they realized way too late in life.
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Sign's Pun Game Is Too Strong

If you can't see how great these puns are, the writing is on the wall. We're fans of dad jokes and stupid puns that we feel guilty for enjoying. A good pun has the ability to make you seem like a genius and an utter moron at the same time. Here are more dumb puns and clever jokes that are technically not wrong. And here are some straight up funny signs.

Funny sign has a lot of puns.
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A Ration of Puns to Satiate Those Wordplay Cravings

If liking dumb puns makes us stupid, then no changes there. We feel comfortable acknowledging our torrid love affair with clever and horrible wordplay. We're fans of dad jokes and dumb puns that we feel guilty for enjoying. Here are some extra dumb puns and clever jokes that are technically not wrong.

Dad jokes, puns and stupid jokes.
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Tired Dogs in Awkward Sleeping Positions

They say let sleeping dogs lie, but that might lead to back problems. We've seen dogs do some amazing things, and being able to turn into tired goop on a couch is now one of those things. Some of the physics her makes no sense, but we're here for it. Dogs can get themselves in some precarious situations, like these stuck dogs that need a hand.

Dogs in awkward sleeping positions.
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Via Do Ra
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Where would the internet be without dudes writing songs just to accompany the little jingle their dryer makes when it's finished with a load? We don't wanna know. This is small, dumb, fun and actually sounds quite pleasant.

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Guy Bonds With Strangers Over "Magic" Bread With Lengthy Expiration Date

There's something about breaking magic bread with strange drunks that seems almost weirdly biblical. That or this stranger just didn't have enough money for bread and tricked this guy into a free snack. This sounds small and dumb but two months is a long time for bread. Sadly, leaving bread out like that will probably cut its days shorter than expected. For another petty and stupid food story, here's a reporter who kept winning office chili cook-offs with store bought chili.

Guy bonds with strangers over long with unusually long sell-by date.
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Guy Makes Graphs and Charts about The Relatable Things In Life

@Mattsurelee makes graphs and charts about some of our more relatable challenges. Whether it's taco Tuesday or talking to your parents on the phone, he's probably broken it down in a visually funny way. For something similar, here are some silly and stupid terrible maps.

Funny and relatable graphs and charts
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Eye-Confounding Images of Weird Perspective

Your brain works so hard and so fast to make sense of everything that it takes in that a small shift in perspective can totally confuse you for a second. The double-taking confusion and amusement of finally figuring out an eye-defying image make these worth looking at. So get ready for some strange perspective to give your brain a workout.

Optical illusions made from images of confusing perspective.
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Weird and Specific Rituals and Jokes Couples Have

If you've been in a relationship for a while, you may develop a repertoire of inside jokes and super strange things that make complete sense between you two and look completely insane to someone else. For more of the good feels train, here are some wholesome memes. For some dramatic but less encouraging moments, here are red flags at weddings that made it clear the marriage wouldn't work out.

Weird and funny jokes and things couples do.
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People With Unfortunately Wild and Silly Names

People manage to name their kids some pretty awful things. People also manage to legally change their name to some wacky crap, as well as get insane names printed on official documents. Either way, we're glad that among all of our own problems, having the silly name like "Itch E. Ballscracher" isn't one of them.

People with funny names.
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