The users of AskReddit were met with a challenge to name things that would go in a startled house, which takes the concept of a haunted house but tones it down to just startling people rather then truly freaking them out. It's reminiscent of the punishments people thought up for the residents of Heck, which would be like Hell but not as bad.
silly
While we consider ourselves smart people most of the time, we're huge fans of puns intended to be wonderfully dumb. We eat dad jokes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's good to release your inner dad and indulge in dumb and clever jokes that are technically correct.
Keaton Patti is a funny and absurd writer who's responsible for these wacky re-captions, as well as ridiculous "bot-written" scripts such as this Diners Drive-Ins And Dives script or this Olive Garden Commercial. We're here for the controlled insanity and reworking of something as near and dear to our hearts as Antiques Roadshow.
Just about everyone has some small act that they think only they perform. These acts might be born out of boredom, like making up songs about butts to sing to your dog. They might come from convenience, like using your extremely dextrous feet to pick stuff up. Or they might come from necessity, like tapping your fingers to the tune of "Sweet Child Of Mine" every time you see a picture of your Dad for some reason. Behaviors like these tend to make people think they're not normal, even though everyone does crap like this. Here's some stories of people realizing their roommates were actually crazy.
Jokes don't need to be overly wordy to be simple and complex at the same time. Some of these moments, comments and memes happen to be extreme puns while some are just technically true. For more here are some stupid and witty jokes that are technically correct. We fancy ourselves pun-lords of varying tastes, from puns intended to be wonderfully dumb to dad jokes.
The human body is an amazing thing. It can heal itself, think really good, and it's one of the most persistent biological machines out there. Seriously, we run down our prey not with speed but with sheer willpower. That said, there are some definite design flaws in the human body that have caused a lot of us some major problems. The fact that one trip can send you to the hospital, or that choking is a thing. Anyway, here are some flaws people pointed out, as well as some possible improvements.
Via Mad World
We've all had that moment when a packed bus or train pulls up and we think "oh crap." Sometimes those moments are met with the distraught feelings of realizing you'll just have to wait for another. Other times, you're just like "oh I am getting on this bus." This guy is getting on this bus.
If you've been in a long term relationship, you know that seeing that same person's face every day can come with challenges. You've gotta learn to get used to each others quirks or get really great at apologizing if you wan to stand spending the rest of your lives together. People's thoughts on marriage never end, so here are more funny tweets about marriage that are too real.
People assume it's easy to be a kid, like the whole "not working or paying taxes" thing. That said, a lot of us forget about the challenges of growing up. A lot of being a kid is learning how stupid you are, and discovering all the ways the world can disappoint you. These result in meltdowns over stupid things. Seriously, kids have a lot of dumb meltdowns.
Via Grimy Ghost!
The holy spirit is pent up inside of you and it's aching to get out. Hopefully you too will be saying "Oh God!"
If being a brain surgeon was as easy as putting a stethoscope up to someone's disembodied brain, then sign us up for a nuerosurgery position. As it turns out, trying to depict someone's entire profession in a single stock image is really hard to do. Or it would be, if it ever seemed like these people were trying. Sometimes they're not just inaccurate, sometimes stock images are really weird.
Via Saga of a Crew
The amount of time spent editing and creating a set for this whole thing looks like it was well worth it. The Geckoator looks to be like a new modern epic. They made a scale colosseum! There's a soundtrack!
It's not necessarily a stock photographer's job to make the photos look accurate, but to get across the basic idea as quickly as possible. The resulting bad stock photos of people's professions are cartoonishly incorrect and a whole lot of fun to criticize. Stock photos can also get really weird.
