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A Bushel of Funny Tweets to Savor

When it's not actively imploding all over itself, Twitter births some wildly creative, extremely dumb, and supremely clever jokes. Sometimes you need ridiculous musings in the form of tweets to give that day a boost. Are they often stupid? Yeah. Are they basically funny? Definitely. Heap some funny tweets onto that day.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter | Paul @bingowings 14 Fingers crossed 's hummus Hidden dip road sign
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Tumblr Thread: Weird and Stupid School Stories

Students usually don't have anything better to do than be weird, like the ones in this Tumblr post who worshiped a stuffed octopus. It doesn't take too much reminiscing to come across a time when someone at school did something weird as hell. As it turns out, that weirdness extends to awkward moments at high school reunions.

Tumblr thread about funny and weird school stories | frickerstein: today american lit kid fell asleep and my teacher got up and told us follow him and so all left room and he changed clock so like 6pm and like 10 minutes later kid ran into hallway with his backpack and were all sitting at end and he just sat down middle hallway and started cry yamatohatake: nosdrinker: my english teacher accused plagiarizing an essay wrote about my own life my friend got accused plagiarizing junior high because
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A Bundle of Puns to Fill that Wordplay Hole

We're not sure if we like puns all that much, but they definitely have a time and a place. A well placed dad-joke can bring down the house or make you want to slam your hand in a car door. Either way if you're aching for clever and not-so-clever wordplay, there are puns to fill the pun void.

silly puns, dad jokes and clever wordplay | RECIPE SAID DICE ONION WENT LOT EFFORT BUT PLEASED WITH RESULT. food shaped like a game dice cube
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David Neevel makes things that do things, and this time he's used his technical prowess, a moment of inspiration, and a hand molding kit to create something that just about every desk could use.

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Stuff that Looks like Food but Isn't

The world is full of delicious looking things that aren't actually food. A pickle chip could be a turtle, ice cream could actually be spackle, and caramel could end up being an eraser. Some things, even dangerous and prohibitively crunchy things, end up looking like delicious food.

Things that look like food but aren't food | yellow snake wrapped around a bowl of bananas | mushrooms that look like pancakes with maple syrup
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Funny Tweets to Give that Day a Boost

Twitter can be a war zone of horrible takes and unsubstantiated arguments about things no one really cares about, but it's also cut with sweet, delectable jokes. For more odds and ends, here are some more funny tweets that hit the spot and some random funny Tumblr nuggets.

Funny twitter jokes | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks
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Totally Normal and Not Weird Antiques Roadshow Memes

Humor writer Keaton Patti has an interesting take on things, especially when it comes to evaluating items from antiques roadshow. The show holds a special place in our hearts, and it's made all the better with amazingly stupid and absurd edits, like these other antiques roadshow re-captions that make perfect sense.

Funny re-captioned antiques roadshow memes | Adam Eve's Pizza Cutters $7,000-$9,000 AR @KeatonPatti
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Pets that had Run-Ins with Bees

 Like people, cats and dogs can have responses to bee venom that can be mild to severe, but with the right attention and care they just swell up for a while and go back to normal. So for a while, you get an inflated dog or a cat with extreme lips. For some pet stories, here's a wholesome AirBnB with a neighborhood dog visitor as well as a Tumblr thread about a dog that figured out how to herd a lawn roomba.

puffy dogs and cats from run-ins with bees
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People Who Had Run-Ins With Aggressive Statues

With a gesture here and a flourish there, you can turn a statue of a famous baseball player into a bat wielding bronze demon ready to get revenge. For more creative people who took advantage of their surroundings, here are some funny textbook doodles.

People making statues jokingly hurt them | person throwing papers in the air near a statue of a baseball player swinging a bat | man pretending to get slapped in the face by a statue of a person on a monowheel
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A Hole of Puns to Fall Down Into

Sometimes when the world seems overly complex and hard to comprehend, you might find yourself in need of some ridiculously stupid puns to cheer yourself up. That or these will just make you angry. If you're in need of wordplay, here's a smattering of puns to fill the pun void.

Silly puns and dumb jokes. | Pants - local newspaper: person standing with their leg through a page from a magazine
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Questionable Hair Decisions Getting Roasted

Hairstyles are a convenient and striking form of self expression. Sometimes they say "Hey look I'm a real cool guy" and other times they say "I have made a mistake and I look like a 90's video game character." Some bold hairstyles are not gonna catch on, but at least these ones have the benefit of being entertaining.

Funny haircuts getting roasted with "say no more fam" meme | Barber want? Him need defeat Frieza Barber: Say no more STARECAT.COM man with bleached hair spiked up like a Dragon Ball character Super Saiyan | Barber want bro? Guy ever eat panini? Barber: Say no more fam
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It's a tube, kinda like a fish highway to let fish over dams. Interesting ecological stuff. But let's be honest it's way too reminiscent of Futurama tubes to pass up this opportunity. At least there's no suicide booth.

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Bad Stock Photos of People's Jobs Getting Roasted

As it turns out, it's hard to formulate a decent representation of a lab tech when all you have is a model and a few beakers of colored liquid. It's like everyone's job is a cartoon. For more funny an accurate criticism, here are people's questionable haircuts getting roasted as well as some hilariously precise rare insults.

Funny bad stock photos of people's jobs | shutterstock James Felton @JimMFelton "Hey space astronomer, where is space Space astronomer puts on his lab coat and adjusts his space safety goggles According my latest science, there is space | Kekskobold @c00kiekobold is very important look seductively shortly before hair and gloves get caught drill and cuttings get stuck eyes BadStockPhotosOfMyJob 7:22 PM- May 6, 2018 O 69 Q 27 people are talking about this
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Banana Bunker Inspires Questions, Groupon Commits to the Bit

For such a pointless and suggestive product, anyone who sells the Banana Bunker has to be ready to field a storm of joke questions. Buying stuff online can have its drawbacks, like this guy who just tried to order boxes. You never know what kind of product reviews you might get, like this review for electric knuckles that's a fight for the ages.

Groupon asks suggestive questions about the Banana Bunker | Groupon 11 hours ago O contractually obligated let know every time Banana Bunker is featured on our site | YOSHO Ken know looks like dont haha. 1 hour ago Like 6 16 Reply Groupon G Like sound investment, Ken! 53 minutes ago Like 6 202
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Funny Times Moms Went Full Mom Mode

Nothing like a witty mom who calls out their kid's nonsense with perfect timing to lighten the mood. There's that or there's the mom who has no problem oversharing that the hardest part about being her age is holding a fart in during yoga. 

A collection of funny times that moms made silly jokes | Mads @its_maddie_byee Mom many years apart are they Sam Sara is 14 and my brother is 26" Mom:"oh so nine years" Sam no think 's 12" Mom:"yeah didn't really listen MomQuotes
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Dude Turns Grouchy Professor's Phone Policy Into Prank

This power-tripping old school professor demanded all phone calls be taken publicly, so naturally, a cunning student took advantage of the situation. For school drama, here are times school presentations went off the rails as well as a teacher who lost half their class's papers and tried to fail them all.

Grouchy professor tells students all calls must be made publicly, so student gets silly calls | r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/Ghettoceratops 3 hours ago can take calls, but will be whole class hear. oc M Back my college days taking Ancient History class with notoriously grouchy professor will just call Prof. He super old school and ripe sack horse apples. He hated technology and insisted on using an analogue projector with actual film slides because they were "more reliable" despite fact he
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