masturbation

Or, Zen and the Art of Ma- ...ugh, never mind.

If you're getting paid by the hour and you go into the bathroom to pleasure yourself, does that make you a prostitute?

What's the lady version of getting blue-balled? Getting red-vajayed? Wait, that's something else.

I'll Give You A Penis-Fart-Punch In Your Face!!!

Masturbation doesn't count as creativity. Sorry!

It's tough being ambidextrous.

What I'm saying is that I technically ejaculated onto your face.