kids

This teacher's viral story about teaching deaf kids how farts work is a hilariously wholesome little tale. Taking a moment and picturing the look of shock and the confusion thereafter on these kids faces as they learn about the wild world of farts is just golden. 

There's no question that kids are stupid and weird. We remember being afraid of getting flushed down the toilet as much as anyone else. All we can say is it's a shame that the natural state of a human being is to be so harmfully stupid. How did any of us make it this far? Growing up, was anyone else astounded that car blinkers somehow predicted exactly which way a car would turn every time? Seriously, there are too many clear signs that kids are weird and dumb.

Kids are weird and they lie a lot, but there's a really strange tendency for three and four-year-olds to mention "back when I flew helicopters in 'nam" or "my previous mother wasn't as nice as you." Is it a weird combination of dreams they had, the power of suggestion, and the fact that kids sometimes don't know what they're saying? Almost certainly. Is it also extremely creepy when a very small child insists that they were a crooked cop who was buried in an unmarked grave? Very much so, yeah. Here's a twitter thread of people's kids saying similarly creepy stuff.

We'd bet that a lot of parents out there are bound to relate to this hilariously wholesome accident. Apparently the whole family ended up getting accidentally "sleeptrained" by a strangely adorable little stuffed worm toy thing. Whatever works, I guess. 

Oh, the unparalleled panic of losing your kid at the store. It's common knowledge that kids are weird and dumb, and as it stands they shouldn't be trusted. Look away for a second and they're off trying to drink toilet water or join a new family. Sure, we eventually grow to resent the illogical things our parents do, but for a real long time it's you being the idiot.

There's too much proof out there that kids are stupid and weird. Sure, they have a few legitimate reasons for their uncontrollable dumbness, like the fact that their brains aren't done developing. But that's not enough. These things will walk around like they own the place, getting their heads stuck in fences and spilling syrup everywhere. Kids are just weird and stupid people.

Tumblr gets on a real tear here about how to instill a sense of responsibility and achievement in kids by speaking to them on their interests and being less condescending. There's some interesting points in here, and some thoughts to take home about how society deals with teenagers in general. For more of the wholesome and encouraging side of tumblr, here's some girls discovering unequaled joy at a pumpkin patch.

Being responsible for the continued existence of multiple human lives is an undeniable hassle. Few of us are even that prepared to look after ourselves, so throwing in a few more mortal entities into the cauldron of life isn't gonna make things run more smoothly. Here's to zero sleep and parenting memes for the perpetually stressed.

Many of us aren't really even half decent at caring for ourselves, so when you throw a new human being in there, things get real wild real fast. Here are some dad memes that go father than ever before, as well as some extra proof that children are weird and dumb. Don't look at memes too long, your kid might be sticking their head into a big jar of pretzels or something right now.

Man oh man, nothing like some snacks in the household to start up a whole family drama. It sounds like there was a bit of an issue present with a particular kid not being able to exercise some self control in the face of some tantalizing snacks. So, mom decided to lock those snacks up. Apparently this upset her husband quite a bit. Was she in the wrong, or was her move totally understandable?

Kids are weird stupid people, and they have no excuse. Okay, they have one excuse and it's that their small, dumb minds aren't fully developed and they have no idea how the world works. As good as an excuse that is, it doesn't take away from the fact that there's too much proof kids are weird and dumb.

The problem with finding a mouse in your humble abode is that it basically implies that there are other mice running amok. It's an unfortunate realization to have, no doubt, but one that's best resolved as soon as possible. The best course of action can be to seal that home up so that there are no entry areas for the mice to return. The thing is, it sounds like this guy had a completely different approach that was destined for dramatic failure. Hopefully the family was able to get the issue resolved.