jokes

It's important that we know history, so that when it repeats itself we can all stand there and go "told you so" as we're being led in shackles as the new manservant to the Godking of the New Empire of Delaware. So here are the history memes for the enlightened lords of time. Feed those hungry brains with semi-relevant knowledge through easy-to-read history memes.

It's okay to completely lack a sense of humor as long as you don't suck up the fun for anyone else. These clueless people who missed the joke by miles have a way of making these jokes as funny as the three stooges rotting away in an old folks home, every day forgetting bigger pieces of who they are. So thanks guys. Thanks for taking everything completely literally, youfun-stealing dullards who didn't get the joke.

Can other people's anecdotes and tweets motivate us to become better people? The answer is a resounding "maybe, but probably not." That said, there are many funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later that could definitely make you a hit at a party for about 45 seconds. Sure it's 45 seconds, but what a wonderful 45 seconds. So there's that. And also sick Tweets from the Twitterverse.

It's totally fine to not get a joke. We all have slow days or miss references or just don't wanna read. But when you're the kind of person who doesn't get a joke and then goes and calls someone an idiot because you didn't understand it, then buddy, you've just joined the ranks of mistaken bozos who didn't get jokes. Enjoy your fiefdom of crap from your throne of poor reading comprehension. Here's more people who aggressively didn't get the joke.

Like anyone else, if you sit with your own thoughts for more than 5 minutes, you tend to get scared and upset. With that, we've decided that a constant flow of funny tweets to build character and cultivate strength are a good way to avoid our own horrible thoughts. Seriously our internal monologues sound like a barn fire. Anyway, here are some funny tweets to quote at parties in lieu of having a personality.

Hey, not all of us have the patience to read books or take salsa lessons, so it comes to this. There's nothing quite like being at a party going "that reminds me of a funny tweet I saw" and then totally butchering the idea so it's not funny anymore. You've accidentally missed the point and made it too dirty. Then the one person you kind of know goes "mhm yeah totally." That's what we call a social win. Here's more funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later and some extra tweets to build character and cultivate strength.

Sure, anyone can come up with a rare insult to bruise people's egos, but it takes a true master of self deprecation to put themselves through devastating self roasts. You could call it humility. You could also call it a complete lack of self respect. But when people are done hitting others with spicy rare insults, they throw themselves through the roast gauntlet. It looks like it stings.

It's unclear if having a pun business name is any better for business but at least it's something to look at. There's just something so awesome about an entire sign someone made just for a dumb joke. Maybe it's the sheer commitment to the bit? For the connoisseurs of sign jokes, here's a funny restaurant sign that dispensed jokes and wisdom.

Sure, we can live our lives telling the people around us "you look dumb" or "you stink" but that lacks panache. It's when you hear someone say "nice hair, you look like a dropped lollipop" or some crap that makes you go alright, that was one of those rare and spicy insults that hit different. People may not be good at reading, writing, being kind, driving or doing their jobs. But damn they're good at insults. Holy crap.

Ever meet someone, think their cool, and then discover that they have absolutely no understanding of what events and circumstances have shaped the world that they live in? What a shame. Sure, ignorance is bliss, but knowing where potatoes come from and why wars happen gives us the unyielding burden of our own context. Also knowing references lets us enjoy history memes for the historically inclined.

We're no strangers to the good old-fashioned dad jokes that outdaded themselves. There's something about a finely polished dad joke that just manages to tickle the funny bone, even when a part of you also really doesn't want to laugh at the shamelessly cheesy joke at the same time. If you enjoyed these dad jokes, check out some more dad jokes that took things father than ever before over here. 

Why not get all your musings from a Tex-Mex restaurant sign in Austin, Texas? There's something so folksy yet official about sign jokes. Maybe the knowledge that a random person had to go out there and put up every letter by hand just gives it more meaning? Maybe it's the boldness of putting opinions on a big sign for thousands to see? Maybe we just like signs. It definitely works for this sign whose pun game is too on point.

The world is full of rules, and that's just not acceptable for these mad lads who blazed their own trail. The way of the mad lad is one of deceit, manipulation, and a commitment to the bit. It's a lonely road because so few of us choose chaos, but when it works, it works. May the mad lads of the world reap the rewards of their toil.

Take an idea. Make it a stupid one. Now cast it into the collective subconscious of creative weirdos and let them pick it apart like a thousand hagfish boiling out of a month-dead whale's eye socket. Congrats, that's pretty close to hilarious and totally random tumblr gems one might find zooming around the interwebs. They'refunny, random, shiny and gem-like.

History memes aren't for everyone. Maybe all the plebeians with their Slim Jims and reality television will have their minds sated by relatable content, but not the brooding, dour historian. No, the historians among us will only draw pleasure from history memes for the historically inclined. Yes, the only thing that can light up the brain of an enlightened one is history memes for the splendiferously learned. That and maybe some fancier, beefier Slimothy Jameses.