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A Bounty of Funny Tweets to Heap onto that Day

Twitter is at times a bundle of arguments just screaming over each other, but mostly it's just people's weird and extremely specific thoughts, weird scenarios and random funny tweets bouncing into each other. For more thoughts and bits of internet, here are some strange and random bits of Tumblr gold.

Funny tweets
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People Who Had Run-Ins With Aggressive Statues

With a gesture here and a flourish there, you can turn a statue of a famous baseball player into a bat wielding bronze demon ready to get revenge. For more creative people who took advantage of their surroundings, here are some funny textbook doodles.

People making statues jokingly hurt them | person throwing papers in the air near a statue of a baseball player swinging a bat | man pretending to get slapped in the face by a statue of a person on a monowheel
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Technically Accurate Moments that are Clever and Dumb

There's no feeling quite like understanding a joke or moment that somehow manages to be witty, but also mind-achingly stupid at the same time. You can't say that they're perfectly correct, but they are technically accurate. We can't tell after reading these if we feel any smarter or if we've just boiled out our last few brain cells.

Technically accurate jokes, moments and memes | don't have skeleton inside brain are inside skeleton piloting bone mech 's using meat armor ? | pie chart my living room corner wall floor wall reddit
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Pick-Up Lines that Worked or Didn't

Convincing someone to go out with you bu employing a single perfect pick-up line is a bit of a far-fetched concept, but there are some moments of such buttery smoothness that you can't conceive how it didn't succeed in getting a number. The dating world can be a pun-filled mess, hence these funny Tinder moments that had no shame.

funny stupid clever pickup lines | hey happy mother's day thanks but im not mom haha can fix | 5herlockholme5: thepainofthefeels: 5herlockholme5: ha im piece trash As someone who cares deeply about environment am obligated pick up. Is seven okay smooth fucker
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Funny Tweets to Give that Day a Boost

Twitter can be a war zone of horrible takes and unsubstantiated arguments about things no one really cares about, but it's also cut with sweet, delectable jokes. For more odds and ends, here are some more funny tweets that hit the spot and some random funny Tumblr nuggets.

Funny twitter jokes | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks
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A Hole of Puns to Fall Down Into

Sometimes when the world seems overly complex and hard to comprehend, you might find yourself in need of some ridiculously stupid puns to cheer yourself up. That or these will just make you angry. If you're in need of wordplay, here's a smattering of puns to fill the pun void.

Silly puns and dumb jokes. | Pants - local newspaper: person standing with their leg through a page from a magazine
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Yearbook Quotes from When School Was a Thing

Instead of a quote from John Lennon or a ridiculous promise to themselves, some people choose to go a little lighter with their senior quotes. High School used to seem so important. Now it just feels like a weird dream. Here are some more funny senior quotes that people got into the yearbook on their way outta there.

Funny yearbook quotes from high school seniors | Jessica Enciso Why fall love can fall asleep. | that's what she said Jacob Jones s She
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Witty Jokes and Moments that are Technically Accurate

If you don't know the answer to something, why not see if you can get points for just being a smart ass about it? Being technically correct won't make you actually right, and it might make people think you're even dumber than before, but it's still worth a shot. When in doubt, be clever and literal.

Funny jokes that are technically accurate | Michael Barros @BarrosMichael21 My fiancé just asked come into kitchen see they made s couch potato 4:28 PM 2020-05-15 Twitter iPhone 26K Retweets 132K Likes
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Dude Turns Grouchy Professor's Phone Policy Into Prank

This power-tripping old school professor demanded all phone calls be taken publicly, so naturally, a cunning student took advantage of the situation. For school drama, here are times school presentations went off the rails as well as a teacher who lost half their class's papers and tried to fail them all.

Grouchy professor tells students all calls must be made publicly, so student gets silly calls | r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/Ghettoceratops 3 hours ago can take calls, but will be whole class hear. oc M Back my college days taking Ancient History class with notoriously grouchy professor will just call Prof. He super old school and ripe sack horse apples. He hated technology and insisted on using an analogue projector with actual film slides because they were "more reliable" despite fact he
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The Classic "In Need of Dad" Craigslist Ad

It is what it is. Just a simple ask from a group of folks who need a father figure to stand in for their barbecue. Who knows if anyone ever responded to the ad, but we like to think someone had a great barbecue with a highly qualified dad. At least people are still posting weird ads online.

Classic funny dad barbecue ad | NEEDED: Generic Father Figure Backyard BBQ Spokane Com picture of an elderly man grilling meat and vegetables in a yard
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A Field of Puns to Wander Around In

We're not sure if puns are funny, but they sure are there. The general consensus with wordplay like this is that it's not funny at all until it is. So here's a smattering of puns to fill the pun void. Puns and dad jokes of all stripes have their time and place, like this plate full of puns to fall face-first into.

Silly puns and wordplay memes | turtle made of bread and baguette eating lettuce Not all turtles are born wild some are bread captivity | scared hamster Im trying get over my fear ghosts Therapist: Thats spirit :
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Man's Facebook Post Is Ultimate Dad Joke

This guy might be looking to meet someone special, but he is clearly already in touch with his inner dad. The dad joke is strong in this post, indeed. Check out some more witty and stupid jokes that are technically correct over here.

Man responds to ladies' wants with ultimate dad joke | Glenn Embrey 9 May at 02:49 Somebody said ladies will find lot more attractive if post pictures with filters have some doubts but do know, right? So here goes. Man my phones probably gonna really blow up. 37K 10K comments 113K shares
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Witty and Stupid Jokes that are Technically Right

While we don't always have the intended answers, we can at least be smart asses about things. Technically correct jokes have the benefit of making the teller feel smart while there's not really any new information needed. These silly puns and clever jokes are technically accurate, so you can't say they're completely wrong.

clever and dumb jokes and memes that are technically correct | text messages texting Greta Today 9:43 pm If could rearrange t and name thatd be great
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Absurdly Tight Shirt Gets Roasted In The Comments

When the people of Facebook get together and decide something looks silly, there's nothing stopping the torrent of roasts and funny observations from washing over whatever it is. In this case, the thing is an ad for a shirt that barely fits on the absurdly muscular, probably photoshopped model. We live in a golden age of funny and rare insults, and the internet is full of ingenious insults full of meanness.

Funny facebook roast of tight shirted model | Father Sons Sponsored O FATHERSONSCLOTHING.COM NEW Ultra Stretch Super Slim Shirt Collection SHOP NOW | he farts see bubble go up back his shirt 885 10w Like Reply View 39 previous replies Abby Heaton Does clothing line come with free steroid cycle? 201 10w Like Reply View 1 previous reply m need PEACE N Do these come adult sizes? O0219 9w Like Reply View 1 previous reply pa K. Take this only comes Avengers sizes O 160
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Absurd Individuals Who Didn't Get Satire

By now, people should be aware of things like satirical news websites, but for some reason, we still get sadly mistaken people who didn't understand satire. Whether it's because they didn't read the source, got so angry they wanted to believe a joke headline, or are just plain dumb, people will believe the dumbest headlines. These sites have been around for years and mistaken people still don't get satire.

People who didn't understand joke headlines and satirical news | History Metallica FLIGHT 1 S COLLEGE THEHARDTIMES.NET Metallica Sues 8th Grader Over Hand-Drawn Logo on Notebook O Like Comment Share Wow they should be proud an 8th grader liked their music not sue kid. 15m Like Reply
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Clever and Literal Jokes That are Technically Right

When you don't know the actual answer to a question, it can be a saving grace to be a smart ass about it. Or it could backfire and make people think you're a moron. Either way, here are clever and dumb jokes that are technically correct. They might not be even close to factually accurate, but hey, at least they're technically accurate.

Funny jokes and memes that are literal and technically accurate | Madison @madisoncentreLA 's idea perfect date Shafeeq @Y2SHAF DD/MM/YYYY other formats can be confusing
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