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26 Razor Sharp Insults You Can Use to Blast Your Friends to Pieces

Want to impress/alienate your friends? If you can't think of your own putdowns, dip into this well of witty fury.

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27 Ice Cold Insults to Help You Push Away Everyone in Your Life

If you ever wanted to throw some canned shade, here's a backstock of witticisms to sling at your enemies.

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25 Attempts That Were Crushed By The Reality of Failure

Life is full of attempts, large and small. Sometimes you're trying to make a good point in a friendly argument. Sometimes you're trying to make a wholesome PTA event. Sometimes you're just trying to look good. More times than you'd like, however, failure will follow.

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19 Times Danny Devito Was a Sparkling Gem on Twitter

Whether you know him as Frank Reynolds, Matilda's dad, or simply as a wonderfully impish real-life goon, Danny Devito has a place in our dark, wet hearts. Some kids even made a shrine to him in the open space behind their school bathroom! Here are some of the more outrageous moments brought to you by the social media of Danny Devito.

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Hilarious Craigslist Ad for Most Boring Car Ever Is a Masterclass in Salesmanship

This person somehow managed to write a craigslist ad that made the world's most boring, practical car sound exciting. The Toyota Avalon. It's what you deserve.

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23 Hilarious and Somewhat Decipherable Tweets from Scottish People Twitter

Scottish People Tweets are a wonderful thing. They're all hilarious, that is if you have the linguistic skills to get through them.

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24 Absurdly Funny Alternate Antiques Roadshow Captions

Writer @KeatonPatti has given birth to these bizarre and hilarious re-captions of items found on Antiques Roadshow. He's also the mind behind numerous fake Bot-written scripts like this hilarious Olive Garden Commercial. Anyway, here are some bonkers-ass antiques.

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24 Bizarrely Hilarious Alternate Antiques Roadshow Captions

Writer @KeatonPatti has given birth to these bizarre and hilarious re-captions of items found on Antiques Roadshow. He's also the mind behind numerous fake Bot-written scripts like this hilarious Olive Garden Commercial. Anyway, here are some bonkers-ass antiques.

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21 Brilliantly Idiotic Moments That Are Technically Not Wrong

They might be dumb, and they might be missing the point, but you can't say that they're 100% wrong. They're literally correct.

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Hilariously Dark Thread About Father’s Ashes Is Ultimate Dad Joke

So apparently if you don't keep an urn sealed well enough, the human remains inside turn into a formidable brick of your loved one. Luckily, we live in 2018 so you can go to the internet for answers. And especially luckily, people have more to offer than just a simple solution. They also have terrifically dark one-liners.

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