humor

Every now and again the wonderful wandering minds of the Tumblr world band together to take us down wild rabbit holes we never saw coming. In this case, we're talking about a very intense, hyper analysis of the various Elvish dialects in the Lord of the Rings universe. Tolkien honestly seems like he might've been all about researching ridiculous internet vernacular. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this epic saga about "goat guy." 

Tumblr's always reliable for keeping all the bases covered. This time we get the rundown on the proper ways to go about caring for monsters. It is essential to provide that Sphinx with enrichment by answering its riddles. And who would've known that giant spiders are actually very social creatures, and should not be housed alone? For some more gold from Tumblr check out this professor's crazy beach tale.

If you think that you're out there taking your dental hygiene seriously, you are very wrong. One quick look at this ridiculous Twitter thread about how Croatians handle their toothpaste will enlighten you. It's absolute madness. 

In case you're unaware, Wendy's has an established reputation in the Twitterverse for being able to dismantle people with words of pure ruthlessness. Whoever is running the account has their whole roast game on lock. So, naturally on the infamous "Roast Day" Wendy's was more than ready to dish out a fresh, spicy onslaught of roasts. Hopefully these folks are able to recover by the same time that this rolls around next year. 

This entertaining Tumblr post brings people together to bond over the strange brain farts that can occur as a result of such intense mental conditioning from jobs. If you've ever muddled through a gig in the service industry you're probably very familiar with how deeply rooted those different mandatory, totally manufactured, social niceties can be. The infamous to-go order instances as an example. 

There's no getting around the fact that children are just plain old strange. They're these miniature human beings that have an uncanny knack for spewing out wildly unexpected sentiments at a moment's notice. Naturally, some kids are more devious than others. Maybe you were one of those kids yourself. Hard pressed to follow the rules that the rest of society put in place, and told you to abide by. Maybe you were just channeling that oppositional energy from a young age, and it ended up getting you in a whole lot of trouble. If that's the case, you probably had your work cut out for you as you navigated the ins and outs of school. Oh, school. A time ripe for learning about the consequences of not following the rules. Maybe that rule breaking behavior ended up manifesting in you dishing out all kinds of creative and ridiculous insults to those around you.

This particular AskReddit thread honors the most outlandish and humorous insults that kids ended up coming up with. If you're an adult on the receiving end of one of these insults, hopefully you didn't take the insult seriously for a second, and instead appreciated that kid's ability to churn out some banter that you'd never heard before. Banter can certainly be fun if we allow ourselves to drop our guards, and just play along with it. Of course there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, and that can end up being the time that kids are better educated on what they really shouldn't be saying to other members of society.

You don't want to end up growing up to be one of those adults with a nasty head on their shoulders, a misplaced moral compass, and a daunting inability to treat those around you with a sliver of respect. As with all matters of life, there's a strange balance to these things. We love a good roast or creative insult here. Especially when you get the ruthless silver tongued wordsmiths in the comments section that are ready to stir up all kinds of trouble. The YouTube comments section is really its own kind of comedy goldmine. You've got to love the internet for what it provides there. It can be this playground of sorts where everyone goes to work at trying out their most absurd insults. You just don't want to take things too far. Sometimes, you can get lost in the fun of a back and forth with another online user and end up saying something that you ultimately come to regret. But anyways, all ramblings about the wild realm of online banter aside, these kids certainly brought their A game for when it came to surprising folks around them with unexpected words of sheer ruthlessness. If anything, we'd have loved to been able to read more about the fallout from some of the more piercing insults. It really just boils down to whoever ends up receiving that insult. It'd sure be nice if everyone in the world had a great sense of humor, but thus is not always the case.

This post might be useless for some folks out there, but there are sure to be other people proactively trying to save a buck and eat a meal while they chase those paychecks out in LA. If anything, it's a thread like this that can awaken a ravenous appetite for a sandwich as soon as possible. These look too good. 

Valentine's Day rolls around once a year to either throw the world's hopeful romantics into a lustful frenzy full of promise and loving gifts and positive energy, or it can push other folks into a misery-drenched state of loneliness unlike anything they normally experience on a daily basis. It's a highly commercialized "holiday." Many people end up digging deep into their bank accounts, and dishing out the big bucks on fancy meals that would otherwise never be considered. Obviously, this year's a bit of a curveball for everyone. Like, can you even get into a restaurant in the first place? And if you decide to go that route for the Valentine's Day date, is it really something that you're comfortable with considering the circumstances of this tumultuous time? Outside of that though, the process that can go into trying to get your special someone a meaningful gift can be a nerve-wracking one, riddled by self doubt. All this pressure can build up over whether or not you're actually getting something that they'll appreciate, or if you're just unknowingly digging yourself a deep hole because you failed to get them something that reflects how well you know them, and how much they mean to you.

Maybe, there's all this momentum around Valentine's Day because of the sea of sappy Rom Coms we have available at our disposal. Romantic movies can end up contributing toward this overriding narrative that you need someone to be happy, and if you end up with that special someone, you're obligated to provide them gifts on Valentine's Day. Who knows? To each their own. Everyone will naturally do it a little different.

With respect to this AskReddit thread though, we have people sharing the very worst of the Valentine's Day gifts that they've ever received. Can you imagine just being in the same room as someone who was receiving one of these gifts? The amount of awkward silence that must've ensued after some of these gift exchanges, must've been palpable. I mean, hey, you live and you learn. Sometimes you end up fully committing to a gift for your partner that you've deluded yourself into thinking they'll like, and not completely loathe. 

We can all fall prey to bouts of well intentioned confusion. If you're lucky you'll be able to get away with a wipeout on a Valentine's Day gift by riding the "it's the thought that counts" wave. Because at the end of the day, it really is. If you have an agreement with your partner where you guys are game with giving each other Valentine's Day gifts, then it's really up to the both of you to not be too critical of one another when the gift exchange part of the process rolls around. Or, maybe the silly banter and roasting of each other is one of the funnest parts of the whole situation. All in all, we hope that these Valentine's Day gift fails make you feel a little bit better about any unfortunate moments you've experienced on Valentine's Day.

For whatever reason Big Bird decided to enlighten the world on his cousins from around the world. Little Bird is just straight up adorable. Then there's a very unsettling air about Garibaldo. No idea what kind of madness Garibaldo's up to. This is one of those threads that the world didn't know it needed, but definitely does. While we're on the topic of Big Bird though, we figured we might as well dive down a rabbit hole on the story of Sesame Street's infamous Big Bird. Where to begin? 

Well, for starters Big Bird stands at a daunting 8'2. Just imagine seeing that guy out walking around the block. Doorways must be some kind of terrible hassle for the poor fellow. Big Bird seems to be quite the multitalented individual. He can roller skate, ice skate, dance, sing, write poetry, draw, and even rock out on a unicycle. Who wouldn't love to see that in action? Big Bird resides in a nest behind 123 Sesame Street, and has a teddy bear named Radar. 

Moving on with our rundown of the illustrious history behind the infamous Big Bird, Big Bird also has an established reputation for making friends easily. Throughout the show he was always that one character who would welcome the new characters to the block. At one point in time Big Bird commented on his charisma during a TIME interview, saying that people might see the 8-foot Big Bird and feel more comfortable. Personally, I don't know if I'd want to give the homie a hug, or sprint away like my life depend on it. And on top of that it could just be helped out by the fact that he's a friendly bird. Like, imagine if he wasn't friendly for a second. Imagine if he'd been rocking a getup like that of his cousin Garibaldo, and played the part of the schoolyard bully instead? Thank goodness that's not the direction that the show's writers took his character arc. 

Perhaps one of the biggest mysteries behind Big Bird is how old is the dude? Is he just a clueless, wide eyed adult or maybe a kid still figuring out how the world works? As it turns out, Big Bird's apparently permanently 6 1/2 years old. I guess by freezing his age at this point, the writers are able to paint Big Bird in a light where he's seen as nothing but a curious, adventurous kid who is actively figuring out the ways of the crazy world. 

Let's take a quick look at some other fun facts about Big Bird. Big Bird almost went into space. Yes, literally at one point the team behind Sesame Street was looking into the logistics that'd be involved with sending the man behind the character (Caroll Spinney) into outer space on the disastrous Challenger space shuttle in 1986. They ultimately passed on sending Spinney into outer space because they couldn't quite crack the problem of getting an 8'2 bird suit up there. Geez. Another quick fun fact about Big Bird is that Carroll Spinney also was responsible for voicing Oscar the Grouch. How about that? Pretty neat. Overall, what a wonderful, legendary career Carroll Spinney had while playing the part of the world's most loved Big Bird. May you rest in peace, Carroll Spinney. As for the whole bit about Big Bird's cousins...we'd love to learn more about this wild Garibaldo character. 

There's no doubt that this technologically-infused era completely riddled by a multitude of social media apps has inspired many of us to overshare our various adventures through life. This rings especially true whenever someone takes a trip. Our social media feeds are often dominated by glamorous recaps of people's seemingly perfect traveling experiences. Obviously, this isn't true at all. Why do people insist on skimming over the nitty and gritty parts of their trips? We want to see those sloppy moments when you had an airline lose your luggage after you spent 27 hours traveling from one corner of the globe to the other. Or, maybe some blurry photos from that one night you cut loose, and took advantage of a dangerously inviting happy hour promo at a bar far away from home. But no, instead what we can usually count on is people manufacturing these dreamlike photo albums where everyone was all smiles, all the time, and nothing unfortunate occurred.

Finally though, we have some Tumblr users who decided to approach the travel photos from a different angle. They thought it'd be a brilliant idea to take intentionally terrible photos of iconic locations while on various trips. The results aren't particularly pretty, but the intention behind the lousy photos is where the real art lies. This isn't the first time we've stumbled upon some gold from a wonderful, wandering mind in the wild world of Tumblr. You just never really know what you're going to get from Tumblr. Recently, we've been seeing a lot of posts dedicated toward analyzing various aspects and characters in the Lord of the Rings universe. We had that recent thread that commemorated the legend that is Boromir. Or, maybe you were able to take a look at the other obsessive thread that did a deep dive on Elvish dialects. The point is that Tumblr seems to have a little bit of something for everyone. Sometimes you can end up working your way through an informative thread that actually educates you on some strange part of this life that you otherwise never would've known. You know, like that crazy thread about how Magenta isn't actually a real color. Our brains are weird.

Anyways, all rambling about the enjoyable aspects of Tumblr aside, we thought this quick thread with its collection of lousy travel photos was worth a shout out. If anything, this Tumblr user might inspire more folks that are able to travel after we get out the other end of this apocalyptic time, to not stuff their camera full of glamorized pictures that give people the wrong idea about how that trip to Cancun actually went. One of the most enlivening parts about traveling to foreign lands you've never been to before is the recognition that you're far from what you're used to, and life itself might work very differently wherever you wash up. It could be a situation where you've got to acclimate to smaller portion sizes, or perhaps having to buy your own water at a restaurant. Who knows? Just consider the idea of making that next photo album from your trip an imperfectly perfect representation of your journey's ups and downs.

We love a good old fashioned Twitter that manages to culture us a little bit on some of the strange things that occur over in a foreign land like the U.K. For instance, apparently British people call their fanciest private schools public schools, which kind of makes zero sense. But hey, to each their own. For some more worldly content check out this AskReddit thread about Americans' biggest culture shocks when visiting Europe.