Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Maybe. We assume nothing. Anyways. People have always been churning out roasts. The dedicated masters of the proper roast, take no days off. This history student, Rosie White, shared a Twitter thread that points out how Victorian Valentine's Day cards were basically passive aggressive roasts. Beautiful. Great for the people you deem most special in your life.
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The world of animation has had a tenuous relationship with fingers and hands since the early days of Mickey Mouse. The weird thing with the Powerpuff girls was that while they didn't have hands, other characters in the show did. Tumblr likes to get down and dirty with media, like explaining why the guy from Lilo and Stitch is the best Disney prince, or hyper analyzing Davey Jones from Pirates of The Caribbean.
Even though satirical news has been around for decades, people still have a really hard time parsing out fact from fiction. Sometimes they'll write-off a absurdly funny headline as fake news. Other times they'll react with appropriate shock after reading a "report" that the gates of hell have been opened. It's funny, but also kinda really disappointing when sadly mistaken people don't understand satire.
Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share their experiences with Valentine's Day fails. The "holiday" can generate quite the buildup of anticipation. With all that pressure that can go into engineering the "perfect" Valentine's Day date, the tense environment can be ripe for fails. These people did not have things exactly work out in their favor.
Twitter user @isabelzawutan started a viral Twitter thread that inspired many who have worked in the service industry, to share their experiences fielding customers' most ridiculous demands. Some people seem to believe that customer service existing grants them the ability to turn their brains off when entering a store. That is not how it works.
Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the biggest plot holes they've ever seen. For many of us this thread will hit close to home. We've all had that one movie or moment out of our lives, where the various factors just didn't add up. Something was noticeably amiss. These plot holes demand more of an explanation. We need answers!
Apparently it's pretty hard for people to guess the difference between flirting and just regular goofing around. So don't feel bad for being horrible at seeing the signs, you might just be bad at identifying them like the rest of us. Tumblr is a creative powerhouse of funny nuggets of gold, including poking fun at the adorable quirks of humans.
This quick Tumblr thread explores the artificial niceties provided by people working in the service industry. Don't let those smiles fool you for being a reflection of the employees' honest mood. People can really flip a switch when it comes to how they treat customers and what they're like outside the confines of the job's rules of conduct.
Steak-Umm strikes gold on Twitter again. This time, it's a feverish thread about a Valentine's Day date that takes an unexpected turn down mints-falling-from-the-ceiling-lane. Yes, that happens at one point. If you don't want to engage your imagination and enjoy some vivid imagery from the wild world of Steak-Umm, then keep browsing the web as you were.
BUT, if you want to get momentarily lost in an unpredictable, blessed, Twitter thread that doesn't make any sense but also makes total sense, then read this shit from Steak-Umm. It is a trip.
Americans hear all about how they can be obnoxious overseas, like being loud and embarrassing, thinking local cuisine is gross and calling someone a "foreigner" in the country they live in. Luckily, there are other less rude things American travelers do that identify them as Americans. For some more outside perspective, here are weird things people noticed about America.
Someone on AskReddit asked for waiters to dish out the biggest Valentine's Day disasters they witnessed. Can't imagine having to share a room with some of these arrestingly awkward fallouts between people out on dates. It's certainly a holiday ripe for romantic fails.
Dan Sheehan's unintentional yarn purchase went on to inspire a wonderfully punny Twitter thread. The most impressive part about this ridiculous sequence of events, is how Mr. Sheehan managed to summon the drive to try and knit the sweater in the first place. His intentions were understandable from the start though. Chris Evans did rock the hell out of that cable-knit sweater in Knives Out.
This employee came to learn what constitutes a food allergy, a bit later than they might have expected. The tingling that their brain had registered as perfectly "normal" was an allergic response to the bananas they were eating. Their co-workers must've gotten a kick out of the revelation.
Tumblr has a never ending interest in mythical creatures, and naturally, people are inclined to ask difficult questions. Since centaurs aren't a real thing, people just kind of use their imaginations, general concensus, math and doodles to get to the bottom of things. For another interesting one, here's the time a doctor on twitter asked where you would defibrillate a centaur.
It's a simple enough meme, and it fills our hearts with boundless joy. I mean, who knew that R2-D2 "in Italy" could go on to inspire such a hilarious, incomprehensible result. Seriously, whatever that "translation" is 10 times really fast. Therein lies the beauty of it. The force is strong with this meme.
