Here are some tips for how to look like an adult and trick your guests into thinking you have your life together. These tips are counterintuitive, pointless and ridiculous but it seems like they probably work. Most adult houses look something like this, at least in magazines or something. If you want actual bad advice, here are some straight up terrible life-hacks.
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Stupidity and ignorance run amok online. Fortunately, we have people who task themselves with calling out the blatant lies, and unfounded incendiary statuses/comments. I do wonder if we'll ever find a time, when people actually up and quit their bs, online. But I'm doubtful, at BEST. It's just too easy for people to weave a tale anchored in imaginative fiction, online, when they can hide the truth in their eyes, behind a computer screen they post from.
Sometimes you see something and with your whole heart and soul you wonder "what the hell is that?" Thanks to the pool of geniuses over at r/whatisthisthing, mysteries like this are posed and solved every day. May the internet make it so that we'll never have to not know anything ever again. Okay, except maybe when you find mysterious items in your dad's toolbox. Maybe it'd be best to not know the truth behind those.
Gotta love these stories. You get to enjoy the drama without having to have actually "witnessed the event." It's all fun and games until you compromise the safety of everyone around you. Not surprisingly, commenters weighed in with their own feats of room-clearing strength. If your in it for hilarious fart-themed stories, try this bombshell moment on for size.
Ken M's work takes him to the spicy trenches of social media's most emotionally abrasive comments sections. He is a shit starter, but does it in a smooth and cunning way that looks like its own lost art form. If anything, Ken M's typical pokes and prods encourage someone to take themselves a bit LESS seriously on social media. The online world's a place of exaggeration, deception, occasional wholesome, and a whole lot of other BS. It is fun to play around with it, every once and a while!
Twitter User, @RobynBresnahan, shared a moment between her and her son, where she told him that school was cancelled, and he assured her that it was no problem, cause he was ready to talk about FART CANNONS. Yes! My dude, this 4-year-old inventor is destined for greatness, and it all started with hopping on a radio show to chat about the world's unknowing, sore lack of FART CANNONS. You can check the audio out for that over here.
A soured Chris Evans took to Twitter to express his hilarious disapproval of Netflix Canada's mustache-decorated picture choice. Of all the pictures that is what they settled on, but hey, maybe Chris Evans in a mustache is how Netflix Canada wants to represent him, to their people. I mean, it can keep you warm in those frigid temperatures up North, during the winter time. Come on, Chris, it came from a good place. And Netflix Canada absolutely stepped up with a smooth recovery.
Just when you think people can't stoop low enough, they respond seriously to an Onion article. Is it a lack of critical thinking skills? Poor reading comprehension? Zero sense of humor? Bogus knowledge of the real world and an inability to distinguish between fact from fiction? Okay, yeah it's probably a combination of all of these. Anyway if you liked these then here's more times people assumed The Onion was trying to be a reputable News source.
It is COLD out in North Dakota, but their memes bring the fire. There were zero punches pulled in the crafting of these occasionally dark-humored, allegedly relatable memes about life out in that snow-packed land of icy madness.
Hey, adults are the ones who write all of these shows anyway so it just makes sense that they'd sneak something in for the parents. Some of these are references only adults would get, others are just straight up filthy. Anyway, after these you may look at your childhood a little differently.
Lust is alive and well in these text messages between interested women and willing men, in regards to Valentine's Day dates. Twitter User, @Oloni, kickstarted a Valentine's Day challenge for women to text their crushes about having had a crush on them for some time; and to share the results in a screenshot on Twitter, from there! The results we've seen are particularly successful. They'll either give you hope, or make you feel that much more content in your forever alone life.
Sometimes the most satisfying jokes are the most dumb. They might be weird and stupid, but you can't say that they're wrong. So get some dads out here and show em these jokes and puns. Man, do these make us feel smart. Here's another slew of dumb jokes that are technically correct.
Sometimes your passive aggressiveness or passionate unrest or mad confusion, boils over to such an extent that you need to yell at the world through a sign! You can just feel the rage coming through that person's stoic expression, as they broadcast on their sign, that they're so damn angry, they made a sign in the first place!
Whether it's living up, or down, to our name, you be the judge. It was a morning, not unlike most others. The Twitterverse was aflame with controversy, and in this case, the point of focus for us (cause we err on the side of absurdity), was a photoshop-crafted rumor of Caesar Salad-flavored Pop-Tarts. The humanity! People were losing their minds. So well, I stepped in, and asked if these sick creations might be frosted with ranch. And there it is. The FAIL. The stupidity. The learning. It's a Caesar Salad-flavored Pop-Tart, my dude. No ranch on this shit, unless you're a maniacal, ranch-crazed beast; and in that case, pour a little extra for the FAIL at hand.
But hey, that's what we're here for. Sharing the fails, and crafting some of our own (unknowingly), along the way. In this case, we've got one we think you'll enjoy. And what would we be without capitalizing on our own Fails? I mean, come on. Follow us over on Twitter here, if you want to catch me doing more spicy banter, stupid shit, and playing around in the Twitterverse.
Toddlers are the little overenthusiastic, unfiltered cheerleaders we never ask for. They chime in with well-meaning sentiments of unapologetic vulgarity, when what we might want, is to absolutely not be noticed. These little stories from mortified and embarrassed parents, are hilariously wholesome, but also amazingly brutal. But hey, thus is the life of a toddler who doesn't give a flying f**k!
When you post a wholesome meme, remember that there are people out there very willing to put in some effort to undermine the message and make themselves feel bad. It's a lot for this guy, right out of the gate to assume only 1% of people find him unattractive, but what else can we do but take his word for it. Math is fun!
