funny

If you find yourself either bored or boring it would behoove you to indulge in some funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later. Those quirkmongers of the internet are out to make brilliantly stupid observations whether you like it or not. Even just a small pocketful of shiny tumblr gems is enough to turn today's snooze fest into a snooze vest, which is more fashionable, breezier and therefore more exciting.

If there's anything to learn from all the regrettable and dumb spelling fails we see on a daily basis, it's that absolutely no one is immune to really stupid mistakes when it comes to their mastery of the English language. Non-native speakers and people who have been speaking English their whole lives all succumb to the fun and frustration of the English language, and at this rate it looks like there's no way to stop it.

Twitter user @PrismaticWastes decided to enlighten the world about how asymmetrical shopping mall maps actually translate beautifully for megadungeon maps. When you think about it, it makes sense. Malls are pretty much designed to make shoppers stay as long as humanly possible. Apparently college campus and zoo maps are also viable options. 

Work is a necessary evil. Doing stuff basically sucks, but it's better than being hungry, wet and cold all the time, so the choice is pretty obvious. Naturally, most of us try to get through the day employing as little effort as possible, and sadly for some of us it really shows. "Not my job" moments of failure fill up our streets and living spaces, providing at least some ironic consolation that everyone, not just you, is doing the bare minimum. These moments of dubious professionalism are far from our best work, and it shows.

One of the best parts about watching a movie is being able to temporarily step outside whatever's going on in your own life, to get lost in the lives of the characters that you see on the screen. So, if you end up watching a movie that's plagued by numerous or just one gaping plot hole, it can be quite the frustrating, disorienting experience. Some plot holes are just too nonsensical to overlook. Maybe these people's observations about plot holes they can't get over to this day will resonate with you. 

Man, oh, man, our hearts go out to any hard working employees that have to deal with these levels of hostile entitlement. The choosing beggars of the world have a way of tossing their social decency out the window when their irrational demands are inevitably rejected. This Karen was in way over her head from the start. 

No matter how confident you are, it's always a good idea to get a second eyes on a project. "Hey, what's with this stairway to nowhere" they might say. Or "did you realize that when your van door slides open it condenses Butter Salesman into Butt Man." There are more stupid design failures out there than you could shake a stick at, and even that stick might have some fatal flaws. These design failures deserve some blame.

Is there a better feeling than catching your supervisor in a lie? Yes, when it's in writing. And even better than that, when you can leverage that knowledge to make them give you a more accurate performance review. Interesting things happen when there's a strict chain of command, like this military wife Karen who demanded salutes and ended up getting mocked.

Sure, doing your job the right way is fine and all, but you save some much time and energy by doing things completely improperly. Sure, these become "not my job" moments of failure, but think of all the time and effort saved when you install a gutter system in a way that conveniences no one. These "not my job" moments of dubious professionalism are making it easier for some of us.

There are absolutely tons of good reasons to call 911, but there are way more totally stupid reasons to call them. A suspicious person lurking around? Sure. Someone's dog looked at you weird? Maybe not. Sometimes people panic when they're scared and frustrated, and 911 dispatch gets to hear a story about a tree someone dislikes. For some other crime-adjacent shenanigans, here are things people later discovered were illegal.

Anyone who has ever worked in an amusement park must've seen some ungodly levels of petty revenge. Everyone has their breaking point, and amusement park employees must be tested like none other. You've got your entitled guests that refuse to not be sore losers, and you've also got a ton of people making horrendous messes everywhere. Fun stuff. 

Seeing our own actions through the eyes of a more coldly logical being lets us poke fun at the absurdity of our own lives. Plus it doesn't hurt that Vulcans are a fun concept to play around with anyway, as evidenced by this tumblr thread of a human on a Vulcan ship. Pet ownership is weird, and our relationship with cats in particular is fraught with unique and strange meaning. Especially when you get into specifics like this tumblr thread on how cats are just eloquent enough to be melodramatic.

If only Karen had exercised a bit more patience, then maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have thrown herself into a grueling infinity loop with no foreseeable end in sight. Can you imagine what the level of outraged confusion was when Karen realized she'd been proactively getting herself caught in the carousel of endless follow-up calls with the "manager" who she was talking to the entire time? 

Man oh man, this guy was his own worst enemy from the very start. Some of the world's more egotistical individuals end up going on to engineer their own failures. It seems like this guy was in the prime position to learn his lesson. Can't imagine what the look on his face must've been.