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Tumblr Thread: Ridiculous Cons People Pull Off Through Complete Confidence

Man oh man, it's a Tumblr thread like this that might lead you to walk through life with just a bit more caution about strangers' underlying intentions. Specifically, whether or not that random dude who shows up wearing a work outfit similar to the company you work for, actually works for the company. Honestly wonder if that little bit about Leo DiCaprio is true or not. If it is, that's hilarious. For some more gold from Tumblr check out this wild Tumblr thread about a neighbor Steve and the abominations. It's a trip. 

A funny Tumblr thread about how people steal stuff by having complete confidence.
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Neighbors Steal From Garden, Plant Puns Wall Of Shame Ensues

The nerve of these neighbors is kind of mind blowing. Like, you have the audacity to go ahead and steal from someone's garden, and then complain when they rightfully and creatively call you out? Okay then. Some folks were in clear and glaring need of a reality check. Can't think of a better way to do it than with some puns. If this tale got you going, check out some punintentionally punishing puns and worldly wordplay over here.

Thieving neighbors keep stealing from garden, and then they get called out with plant puns.
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People's "Oh, That's How That Works" Moments

Every one of us will have a time in our life when we realize something too late. It may have been super obvious all along, or it may have taken some thinking. Either way, that satisfying  "aha!" moment feels the same. For dumber realizations, here are really obvious things people realized way too late.

People tell stories of times they realize how something worked | hut_on_a_frozen_lake Just 2 days ago learned wax candles is used as fuel and not as melting thing slow down burning wick. Should mention have chemistry degree.
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Guy Rudely Orders For Table, Gets Mocked By Server

Having dinner with the parents can go a lot of ways, but it narrows your odds of success when you interrupt mom and insist on being the server's only point of contact. Lo and behold, the server complied. Out of some misaligned sense of responsibility or self importance, this guy made himself a target right out of the gate. At least it's better than having to defeat a Karen. And at least nothing happened to the food.

a family goes out to dinner and the girl's date tries to order for the table, only to be mocked by the server
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Customer Karen Asks To Speak To Manager, Manager Checkmates Karen

People working in the service industry are already muddling through long enough shifts without having to worry about juggling entitled, and outright aggressive complaints from the world's army of Karens. Fortunately, this Karen was smoothly put in her place after asking to speak to restaurant's manager. Oh boy, to have witnessed the look of hopeless defeat on her face. 

A Karen customer asks to speak to the manager, and doesn't realize that she's already speaking to the manager.
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Blunderous Failures of The English Language

Whether English is your first language or not, people still have an extremely hard time navigating the finer points of spelling and wordology. These blunderous foibles of the English language drive home the fact that a one-letter mistake can mean a whole lot of difference, and even spelling something phonetically can lead to catastrophically regrettable spelling fails

funny spelling failures and mistakes in English
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The Things Restaurant Employees Have Seen Done To A Customer's Order

In most places it's a crime to spit in someone's food, and food industry people will admit that it's more rare than you'd think. What's more common is people doing EXACTLY what the customer asks for, like making the food too spicy, overcooking it or giving them about 500% too much mayo. It shouldn't be a surprise that it's a pretty dumb idea to be a ding dong to the person cutting your slice of cake. You never know if the employee you're talking to is someone who just doesn't give a heck.

gross, funny and bad things restaurant employees did to customers food
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Tumblr Thread: Neighbor Steve and The Abominations

Tumblr answers those questions we often ask ourselves waking up in a cold sweat at 4 am, having just escaped another fever nightmare. What would it be like to live next-door to a well-meaning abomination? The tale of Neighbor Steve provides some insight. Tumblr users also kindly elaborate on nightmares such as being a purveyor of fine clown meats as well as a roundup of the earth's real-world abominations. You know, just regular stuff.

Tumblr story of neighbor steve and his life being neighbors in suburbia with an eldritch abomination
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Angry Customer Doesn't Realize That It's April

Hey man, these are strange times. Time itself seems to be kicking along at the strangest pace. It could be a result of the dystopian world we all found ourselves muddling through about a year ago. With that being said, it doesn't hurt to check that calendar before bombarding a call center with a fiery complaint that absolutely could've been avoided in the first place. 

An angry customer doesn't realize that it's actually April.
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Crow Whisperer Forgets About Raw Egg In His Pocket

Crows are a bit of a trip. They definitely exhibit a notable level of intelligence, and even carry grudges. It sounds like this dude had a fragile system worked out with the crows in his vicinity. Unfortunately, his timing was off for making good on some bird tax, and he ended up paying the price. Maybe just don't stow the raw egg in your pocket next time around, man. 

A crow whisperer totally forgets about the raw egg that he put in his pocket.
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Boss Orders Endless Task, Ends Up Stuck With It

Sometimes managers don't fully think through the things they ask their employees to do, resulting in modern-day Sisyphean labors. And anyone who has had a "make-work" kind of boss can attest to the diminishing returns of their demands. Anyone ever spend a day pulling staples out of rotten wood that all ended up going in the same garbage anyway? Fickle managers and customers can end up asking us to serve up contradictions, like this customer who asked for garlic-free garlic bread

boss orders endless sweeping of tree seeds, ends up sweeping himself
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Things from People's Childhoods They Later Realized Were Weird

Everybody's family is a little weird in some way, but as a kid, you don't know any better. This leads to most of us having an awkward moment later on with friends, a scene along the lines of "hold on, not everyone's family has one day of the month where their dad eats as many cans of tuna as possible and then comes over and breathes on everyone?" or "wait a second, my mom always told me the blue parking spaces up front were for people in the very busy mom club?" Life is full of discovery. At least it's a little better than people later realizing something was illegal.

things from people's childhoods that were later discovered to be weird
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Tumblr Thread: The Addams Family Meets Matilda

It's hard to think of two characters Tumblr would have more of an affinity for than Roald Dahl's Matilda and Wednesday Addams. Tumblr has made its love of the Addams' pretty clear in the past based on this tumblr thread about the Addams family renting out rooms to college students. It should be obvious by now that Tumblr will never leave its favorite things un-fan-fictioned, whether that's a good or bad thing.

Tumblr fan fiction thread of Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family meeting Roald Dahl's Matilda.
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Hilarious Tall People Problems

Being tall absolutely isn't everything that it's made out to be. There are plenty of problems specifically reserved for the human beings with the heights that exceed the average size. If you're a tall person you've probably already had your bouts with all those spiderwebs that nobody else seems to walk into. Real fun stuff. 

A collection of humorous tall people problems.
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Sparkling Tumblr Gems Uncovered From the Deep

Tumblr is home to a vast array of hopeful goofs, hopeless creatives and insightful doofs, all smooshing their ideas together until they coalesce into shiny tumblr gems. Will it be a list of observations about lawncare? Will it be a fan fiction of futurepunk Scooby Doo? Or will it just be a bunch of complaints about being in customer service? The future is totally open when it comes to ridiculous, random and stupendous tumblr gems.

funny tumblr gems, moments and memes
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RPG Creator Points Out The Geographical Absurdity of New Orleans

Co-Creator of Pathfinder @Jameslsutter has enough experience in fantasy cartography to know when a place is supposed to look believable or not. His diagnosis is that Louisiana has done a great job of convincing him that New Orleans exists when in fact it's laid out like a real not my job, "4:30 on a Friday" kind of map-making project. For fans of fantasy, here's a Tumblr thread on the theory surrounding Dwarves' super intelligent beards.

twitter thread on how New Orleans looks like a bad fantasy map
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