Tim sounds like one mean hard living, dried out old cowboy. And you just know all that "telling it how it is" meant Tim was someone you would not want to rub the wrong way.
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Stay safe out Tinderers. You never know who could be lurking behind that next right swipe. It could be an irreverent word-vomiting monster with the punny maturity of a bored child. These particular Tinder moments did not fail to deliver on the laughs. If you're looking for more Tinder gems, check out this list of funny, sad, and just dumb moments from the app.
If you've ever had your schedule at the beckon call of a city bus, there's certainly a time when you've cursed God for being seconds too late. This story at least makes up for a few of those times. Nothing rings in the ears of a malicious driver like the phrase "I am taking this bus." Tumblr is home to a wealth of fun stories, like these ones about genuinely innocent dude stories.
Life isn't without its tense failures and laughable blunders. It's a miracle that most of us can get through the day without something colossally stupid going on. Anyway, here are mistakes, failures and unforeseen foibles that derailed people's days. For more stuff like this, here's some more moments of misfortune and failure.
In a world with well-known dumbass conspiracies like flat earth "theory" and the anti-vaxx movement, mention of conspiracies can be a bit stressful. Some of them are smaller, more specific, and personal. And while many are sort of silly, the more you think about them, the more believable they seem...
If you've ever found yourself "accidentally" doing something illegal, it's easy to get paranoid and imagine there could be an authority figure behind any tree, corner, or about to pop out of a storm drain. Now imagine you're fishing illegally and you find yourself reeling in a fish and game warden, like a goddamn cartoon. On the other side of the spectrum, here are stories of 17 police officers encounters with criminal masterminds.
One of our favorite personalities Mark Hamill tells some old Star Wars stories and in the process does a stern, no-nonsense Harrison Ford. The guy also has a pretty awesome twitter presence, like the time he roasted ridiculous Luke Skywalker action figures.
Get your Sunday roast fixins while they're hot. These people submitted themselves to Reddit's RoastMe community, and proceeded to get absolutely rekt. No doubt about it. If you're in the mood for more roasts, check out 23 severely brutal roasts that destroyed their targets here.
This is either terrible or great marketing, we're really not sure. Everybody's looking at the ad, but we're pretty sure not too many people are buying the tightest shirt to every squeeze onto an Asgardian. We're big fans of when facebook gets ahold of something, like that time that guy with the huge neck got destroyed by everyone.
That's it, go ahead and call it, humanity has peaked!
A UK steakhouse got some free publicity over the awesome fail of a server who mistakenly served a crazy expensive wine. Seems like a win to be the person who finished dinner and only afterwards realized they drank a bottle of wine that's worth a car. Seriously, each sip of that is worth like 200 dollars. Anyway, it seems like the restaurant was cool about the mistake, so that's nice.
Look out! Disciplinary action is imminent! This collection of angry notices was served up by some very likely enraged managers that were sick and tired of their employees' BS. That or they just had a rough day and needed some place to redirect their case of rage.
Sure, the animal names we have now might make "logical, cultural and taxonomic sense" but that shouldn't stop you from living in a world of trash pandas and freedom gliders. That's why we have proper animal names. So go forth with these new, and frankly superior names for all the world's creatures.
