funny

If this is the result, why do we even try?

Our childhoods were all about self-discovery, and achieving that through testing our comfort levels, the world around us, and for lack of better words: what felt right. Sometimes that manifests in phases like applying obscene amounts of eyeliner while blasting emo music deafeningly loud. And hey, that's alright. "It's just a phase, mom." That doesn't mean we don't look back on those same phases with a (hopeful) grim acceptance that that sh*t was kind of crazy and full of cringe. 

They're living in a world overran by a flood of equally incomprehensible abbreviations and bizarre jargon...and USA Today is here to play the part of a hero that the elders never asked for. They want to bridge the gap! What a time to be alive. Also, apparently Winston Churchill was v ahead of his time. Dude was just too lit to quit. Check out the original piece over here.

You can still feel the burn from these. 

What other job lets you look directly into thousands of people's private lives? Sometimes it's romantic, but most other times it's embarrassing, sick, or weird. 

Sometimes it's the most petty and inconvenient losses that are the most jarring. There's something so poetic about a crock pot full of delicious chili spilled on a carpet.

These people tried their very bestest, and it wasn't quite good enough. Nothing melts our icy hearts like the hilarity of someone clearly failing at translation; it usually results in some seriously ridiculous sentences. 

Mom's rage builds quickly, and we can't say we blame her. She probably thought she was going legit crazy and having some kind of "flashback" for a hot second, during this conversation.