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'They always say that daylight savings is such a great idea. I give it six months': Top Dad Jokes of the Week (March 17, 2024)

'They always say that daylight savings is such a great idea. I give it six months': Top Dad Jokes of the Week (March 17, 2024)

Sometimes, you have to give your dad the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, he is just trying to get a rise out of you, so don't be too annoyed when his humor doesn't exactly land. He's trying. Much like Ken from Barbie , he's just Dad. This one goes out to all the fathers who are just trying to be more than the chauffeur who takes his kids to soccer practice. He knows his role but he wants to find a little bit of agency by cracking a corny joke he's been workshopping in his head over the…
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Kid breaks his phone at school rather than letting it be confiscated, now the parents want the school to pay: 'You better pay for my son's phone!'

Taking responsibility for your own actions is important and one of the first major lessons that a young kid should learn from their parents. Unfortunately, a bunch of kids were never taught this lesson—or if the seeds were planted… they never took root. When these kids grow up and have kids of their own, predictably the new parents are not the most reliable at teaching their own children a lesson that they themselves never learned, leading to a new generation of entitled people in a vicious sel…
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'We worked things out and promised not to drive each other crazy on purpose': Teen drives dad mad for months by moving his stuff within 1-meter radius, revenge wholesomely brings them closer

This must be one of the most subtly infuriating revenge stories, and it's truly ingenious. Living with someone inevitably exposes you to their idiosyncrasies, those small habits that can seriously grate on your nerves. It could be the way they tidy up, their pillow arrangement, or the way they always leave their toothbrush out – the seemingly trivial things that still drive you mad. In this father-son dynamic, the father finds himself unable to tolerate the disorderly way his teen leaves everyt…
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‘It’s not my fault you spent all your money': Woman refuses to lend brother money after he blew through his entire inheritance

‘It’s not my fault you spent all your money': Woman refuses to lend brother money after he blew through his entire inheritance

Should money and family go hand in hand? The reality is, there isn't really a way around it. From the moment you are born, your parents have to financially support you, and as you grow up, money is always an issue that needs to be addressed. Even once you become a financially independent adult, somehow money always is a conversation at some point in family meetings. So as much as I would love to say you shouldn't mix family with money, I know it is not the most realistic advice, and the woman w…
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'I knew they would definitely fail': Substitute teacher gets back at cheating students by making an uncheatable test

The shenanigans our classmates orchestrated under the supervision of unfortunately unaware substitute teachers are something that we're likely to remember many years afterward. It's one of those things that are such a universal experience that long ago worked its way from real life over into becoming a trope in popular culture. The greatest example I had of this was in 8th grade when my Advanced Geometry teacher had a few weeks off work, and we, of course, were to be taught instead by a substit…
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Top Dad Jokes of the Month (January 25, 2024)

Top Dad Jokes of the Month (January 25, 2024)

It may be a new year, but dads will always be dads. Everyone may want to pretend that they don't love a dad joke, but there is something to be said for the number of times we guffawed while compiling this list. Here's the thing about what dad jokes produce. It's never loud laughter. It's never a cackle. But there is value in a guffaw. A guffaw is almost involuntary, and because we are often socialized to roll our eyes at dad jokes, the fact that these jokes provoked a guffaw out of us shows the…
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'You can't wait 30 seconds? You'll be waiting here for 30 minutes': Impatient dad refuses to heed a delayed delivery warning, wastes an hour dawdling for an order that's not ready yet

Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end, the faster it runs out. But does that sense of urgency in your old age entitle you to be a bossy know-it-all? Not exactly.
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Dad Insults Mom's Cooking, Mom Serves Dad Rotten Beans and Divorce Papers: 'Now you know what rotten [food] tastes like'

Dad Insults Mom's Cooking, Mom Serves Dad Rotten Beans and Divorce Papers: 'Now you know what rotten [food] tastes like'

Never criticize the person who makes you dinner; otherwise, you might be in for a rotten surprise. This Redditor recounted the tale of how their father relentlessly critiqued his wife's beans whenever she made them. They seemed to be perfectly fine for everyone else in the family, but for him, they were always “rotten.” So OP's mother decided it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine and to show him what rotten beans actually tasted like. The best part of the story is the subsequent r…
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'DADDY'S LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB!': Employee's kid spills the beans to the whole office that his dad is on the verge of quitting

Kids say the darndest things...
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'Every single ticket was dismissed': Serial speeder discovers legal loophole, saves thousands of dollars in speeding tickets

'Every single ticket was dismissed': Serial speeder discovers legal loophole, saves thousands of dollars in speeding tickets

This dude discovered the ultimate driving loophole and has never looked back. He's like the definition of a person who's too smart for their own good. U/treize_k had a great story to share about their father's excellent malicious compliance . Dad found a way to speed without a care in the world. We've all pushed the speed limit at some point. There are places to be, and there's no one on the road, so you decide to drive a bit faster. And on highways, people routinely go 20 or 30 miles above the…
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'I'm done giving her handouts if she's gonna act entitled': Spoiled daughter makes fun of the poor girl at school, gets all of her privileges revoked

Raising a well-rounded child is always a conundrum. I can't speak from experience, but I imagine it would be particularly difficult to keep your teenager grounded if your family is affluent. Teenagers are inherently entitled, but imagine throwing a couple million dollars in their bank account along with the latest iPhone.
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Top Dad Jokes of the Week (November 4, 2023)

Part of being a Dad means falling flat on your face a million times over and getting back up to do it all over again. On the other hand, part of having a Dad means getting embarrassed a million times over, only to have it happen all over again the next day. Yet somehow, Dad Jokes operate in that strange space where fathers have a chance to get away with being annoying, and, on special occasions, they may even make their kids crack a smile. Now, of course, their kids won't actually admit that th…
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'The parents want to meet with me': Teacher scolded for ripping up cheating students' tests

When you do something wrong, you should feel bad about it and accept there are going to be repercussions. This is called a consequence, and without experiencing that negative stimulus, how on earth are you going to learn not to do it again? Still, the punishment needs to fit the crime, and making a public display when a young child makes a mistake isn't really the way to go about it. Ironically, this teacher hasn't learned her own intended lesson, as evidenced by the fact that she doesn't feel…
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'[He] wants my 1963 Fender': Musician refuses to give her $3,000 vintage guitar to her teenaged stepson; stands her ground even when accosted by family

Kids don't understand the value of things. It may sound old school, but the only way to really know what something is worth, is to work really hard to acquire it. And just like we learned when watching Antiques Roadshow at 2AM, when it comes to vintage, classic, or collector's valuables, there's more than just the monetary value to something– that lazy-eyed clown doll may seem worthless, but to the clown collecting bag lady, it's priceless.
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'I gave the maid a tip': Party girls face a $200 fine and a wakeup call at the crack of dawn after disturbing a dad in desperate need of a restful vacation

Don't mess with a dad on vacation
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'Say goodbye to [your] college fund': Teenager deliberately disobeys her father, stealing $10,000 for a vacation; dad revokes her college fund

Parents with the means and foresight to set aside some money for their kiddo's education deserve a gold star in parenting. Although college funds almost never go as planned, the idea of a bank account full of cash that's devoted to your child's future well-being is a novel concept. However, entitled children who don't really know the meaning of their parent's sacrifices tend to look at their college account like it's a vault full of happy hour drinks and flashy festival outfits.
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