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Dad Jokes As Satisfying As A Freshly Mowed Lawn

Dads are the world's leading source of punintentionally punishing puns of worldly wordplay. Just pick a dad, any dad. Find a dad on the street. Just walk up to that old man with his jeans and sneakers and say "hey I'm cold." And watch that dad. Watch his lip quiver as he tries to stop it, but gives in anyway and shouts "Hi cold, I'm dad." Here's a mini-van load of dad jokes and puns.

funny dad jokes, puns and memes
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Entitled Dad Is Furious His Son Needs Permission To Hold Gun

It is definitely an interesting reversal for a angry parent to demand that their kid be allowed to hold a gun without their permission. But hey, the inner workings of entitled people are a beautiful, horrible mystery. The thing is he was gonna let him hold the thing anyway. The dad just made things...tense. For another tale of wild parental entitlement, here are some entitled parents who lost it over a parking spot and got towed.

angry dad demands kid hold gun without his permission
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Dad-Level Jokes That Are Bigger And Father Than Ever

Be they horribly clever or just horrible, we never fail to enjoy the dad jokes that go father than ever before. Why do dads love puns? Probably because any other funny thing they have to say would most likely be about your mom or make you want to barf. So for everyone's comfort and safety, we have dad jokes that deliver dad shelf humor. For a dad bein' a real dad about things, here's a Tumblr thread on a wholesome and hilarious dad.

funny dad jokes and puns
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A Minivan-load of Dad-Tier Memes and Puns

Why do dads love puns? Because the other jokes they want to say are so disrespectful and abhorrently filthy that if they said them, no one would trust them with children. You make do with what you have. In the end, we have punny dad jokes that go father than ever before. So throw on those jeans, pile the kids into the car, drive to the soccer game and patiently sit through daderrific dad jokes that just nailed it.

funny dad jokes
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Retired Dad Walks Dogs At Local Shelter, Makes Bios For Them

This dad has clearly tapped into a worthwhile and rewarding way to spend some of his retirement. Apparently he likes to walk some dogs from the local shelter, and also enjoys making up little bios for them. We need more of these!

A retired dad walks dogs at the local dog shelter, and makes bios for them | Andrea Richardson @Aandrealleigh My dad is retired, and has started walking dogs at local shelter on Wednesday mornings. He sends picture and little bio about them sometimes. Shelby. Adopted yesterday! Yea! andrea radiates awIesomenece iMessage DR JoJo! He's puller! German Shepard mix walked him before. DR DR Nana. Good dog. One brown eye one blue eye. Looks like good boy DR Dave Richardson Nana! Like Peter Pan! He is.
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Dad Designs Masterful Basketball Hoop Loophole

What do you do when an entitled neighbor starts some drama to prevent something as simple as a neighborhood basketball hoop? You figure out a loophole and get that hoop, baby. Praise be to the powers of welding. This one is in the same vein as the guy who realized he needed a permit to build a garage so he just bought a van instead.

Neighbors complain about basketball hoop, so dad designs car with basketball hoop for neighborhood
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School Administration Won't Budge, Dad Takes Detention Rap

Despite a litany of reasonable excuses, this school administration was determined to send someone to detention. This person's dad, being a bro, decided to show up for detention and make a point regarding the absurdity of the whole situation. Sometimes school faculty isn't this rigid and vindictive, like these teachers who pulled total bro moves.

story about unjust detention, dad serves detention to make a point
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Dad Fires His Son for Stealing from Work

Nothing adds to the entitlement just like the whole "boss's kid" mentality. At least the dad went and did something about it. The kid even tried to frame another employee. For some more work-related foibles, here are the fastest ways people's co-workers got fired. For another kid stepping way over his bounds, here's a manipulative son who tried to sell his mom's house and cancelled her job interview.

dad fires son for stealing from job | Posted by u/E11451913 1 day ago 14 10 3 15 13 AITA firing my son? Not hole Throwaway because don't want this seen on my main account get straight issue. My M43 17 year old son Adam has been trying become independent and preparing move college but struggling find job own private warehouse as side job earn living. My wife suggested hire my son work at warehous. Moving boxes, brining workers lunch, helping with cleaning kind stuff. She said is both our benefits
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Tumblr Thread: A Wholesome And Hilarious Dad

This is one lucky baby. Some dads in this world are funnier than others. It sounds like this dad has a phenomenal sense of humor and is ready to embrace the lifetime journey that is fatherhood. You could say his dadness is off the charts. If this Tumblr thread got you going check out this collection of dad jokes that are perfect for everyone's inner father figure

A wholesome and hilarious post about a funny dad.
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Dad Refuses To Accept Defeat, Amusement Park Employee Goes Full Petty

Anyone who has ever worked in an amusement park must've seen some ungodly levels of petty revenge. Everyone has their breaking point, and amusement park employees must be tested like none other. You've got your entitled guests that refuse to not be sore losers, and you've also got a ton of people making horrendous messes everywhere. Fun stuff. 

Dad refuses to accept defeat, so an amusement park employee takes their petty revenge | r/pettyrevenge u/TheGreatPinoy 2y Join work at an amusement park, guests are rude but here's my favourite story work at an amusement park and run games there ones people always assume are rigged but reality just really hard. At my amusement park however have hockey game has 4 targets and have try and hit those targets 60 seconds get prize depending on fast can hit all four. Anyways, this family walks up
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County Mower Shreds Dad's Shrubs, Dad Revenges With Rebar

This tale of pro revenge involving an inconsiderate county mower and a dad who wasn't going to put up with anyone's nonsense reminds us of another revenge involving a steel-enforced mailbox and a snowplow. The grin on dad's face must've spanned from cheek to cheek. Sounds like the county mower was ultimately unsuccessful with trying to get dad to cough up cash for those broken blades too. Talk about the icing on the cake. 

County mower messes with dad's shrubs, so dad ends up taking revenge with rebar | r/ProRevenge u/SwizzleMalarki 1y Join County mower trimmed down our shrubs no reason. Go ahead and try again First time posting reading post on here about neighbor running over poles their yard and reminded this story. Also writing this my phone, so bear with Tl;dr at bottom 7 or 8 my dad planted row shrubs along front property. They started out as scrawny sticks, but fast-forward few years and they were big
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Customer Demands to Use Engine-less Prop Go Kart

Sometimes customers think they know what they want, and are so pigheaded that they refuse to listen to employees tell them crucial information like "the plate is hot" or "sir, you're eating plastic fruit." In this case it was a dad who demanded to use a go kart with no engine in it. For some more customer service demands, here's one where a customer demanded to speak to a man until he ended up in the legal department.

Story of customer dad who wants to use unusable prop go kart | r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/N1k1B1kle 1 day ago Guy wanted Go Kart" oc M This happened about 3 years ago worked at an underground go karting area worked as an controller, so sold tickets and controlled races (meaning stopped and started races one busiest Saturday nights rushing around with tickets and controlling races. My Marshalls are running around and trying make sure races run smoothly. This one family comes and bought 2 t
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Dad Tells Daughter To Get A Real Job Or Move Out

There are plenty of parents in this world that end up having to deal with terribly stubborn and ridiculously entitled children. However, every now and again there's a situation where the kid ends up genuinely financially struggling no matter how hard they've been trying to dig themselves out of the hole. The daughter in this scenario sounds like she wasn't in the wrong in the slightest, and if anything, the dad could've handled the situation with far more grace and understanding than he offered. 

Dad tells his 24-year-old daughter to get a real job or move out.
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Poor dad was just trying to play along as he went about a fun day at a trampoline center of sorts, and proceeded to really bring that poor back of his some pain. Just got to walk that one off, man. At least the lesson was learned when it's all said and done. 

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Dad Jokes for Everyone's Inner Father Figure

Dad jokes are a source of stupid glee and pinch-faced frustration for anyone who dares face a dad. Many of us have our reservations about dumb puns to feel stupid about, but at the end of the day if they're worthy of a dad's grace, then that's a quality pun. Dad jokes have a tendency to go full dad joke.

funny stupid dad jokes and puns | Mountains aren't just funny, they are hill areas hilarious photo of blue skies above rocky mountains
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Entitled Influencer's Dad Disputes Contest, Ruins Entire Project

All it had to be was a dumb marketing project with some giveaway stuff, but one "do you know who my father is" type just had to be involved. Overzealous and aggressive parents speaking on behalf of their children can lead to a lot of pain and suffering down the road, like this parent who blamed a teacher for their own kid not being in virtual class.

Entitled influencer's obsessed dad gets involved in contest and ruins project | Posted by u/EstamelTharchon 3 days ago an obsessed parent can lose biggest client Long told this story all my friends, and suppose 's time share with developer at an $agency. Our biggest client at time bank. Apparently, banks our area have huge hard-on raffles, giveaways, and similar marketing tricks get new accounts opened. Better yet, they are constantly trying one-up each other, which is great marketing/developer
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