My Mum (after being told that her new Noah's ark ring was religious): When you think of Noah's ark, do you think of animals? Or do you think of Moses... Or whoever it was that built it?
(I read my mother a messed up text where a kid's phone said that they 'blew' their teacher instead of 'drew' him.) Me: I'm positive that there were kids I went to high school that were doing something other than homework to get better grades. Mom: I never did that. For one, I refuse to compromise my morals and for another, I don't like that. (Long pause) Mom: You probably didn't want to hear that, did you? Me: No, not really.
Mom: I wonder what I can get your Dad for Christmas. Me(being silly): Your Mother! Mom: He doesn't want THAT.
Me: I don't want to become an astronaut, because if something goes wrong, I'll be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no help. Mom: Don't worry about that! If you get hurt in space, you'll just die!
See more fashion disasters at Poorly Dressed!
(Talking about Jessica Simpson with my mom) Mom: She's lucky that she has big boobs, because she can't sing at all.
(My mom and I discussing school projects) Me: Essay projects are one of the few school projects that I don't mind doing, since they're not a right answer-wrong answer sort of thing. Mom: I actually like more solid foundations, like in math: 2 + 2 will always be 2... Wait a second...
(Dad got a deer this season and is processing it himself). Me: Ugh... There's body parts all inside the freezer. Mom: People are going to think we're John Wayne Gacy. Me: Didn't he have sex with the bodies first? Mom: You weren't there.
Me: Mom, I don't want to eat meat tonight. I just got done dissecting a pig. Mom: What? You won't eat meat because of that?! What's going to happen if you go to medical school and dissect humans? Will you stop eating humans too? Me: Um.....
