the onion

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Another Point for the Onion!

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I'm Sure You "Chose" Every Bit of It

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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"Check the URL" Should Be Rule No. 1 of the Internet

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"I Like the Concept"

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There's a Special Exit Just for People Who Don't Get Jokes

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Yep, All These Lies Check Out

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I Think They Meant to Say "Totally Awesome"

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Nonsense Never Sounded Better

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Next She'll Be Looking Up the Melting Temperature of Steel...

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How Facebook C*ck-Blocked You From Becoming Leader of the Free World

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Strap on Your Moon Boots and Try to Reach the Heights of This Brave Man

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The Pants Struggle is Real

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If It's Good Enough for the Largest Mammals on Earth, It's Good Enough for You!

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What Part of "via The Onion" Did You Not Understand?

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Probably Worth Even More on eBay Now!

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Clever manufacturing plant worker plans a 20-person meeting that no one attends, then gets even with the no-show employees: 'Management had a fit'

Clever manufacturing plant worker plans a 20-person meeting that no one attends, then gets even with the no-show employees: 'Management had a fit'

15+ Employees Who Got Fired on the Spot for Their Huge Mistakes: 'The CEO... got caught lying'

15+ Employees Who Got Fired on the Spot for Their Huge Mistakes: 'The CEO... got caught lying'

‘If I get another, I’m fired’: New Boss writes up employee for not coming in on a federal holiday when the location was closed, capping off 8 months of disciplinary action against a 16-year veteran

‘If I get another, I’m fired’: New Boss writes up employee for not coming in on a federal holiday when the location was closed, capping off 8 months of disciplinary action against a 16-year veteran

Senior operator follows his new manager’s order to stop making independent decisions, until manager Phil changes his mind after spending two weeks approving every minor fix, and one costly redo

Senior operator follows his new manager’s order to stop making independent decisions, until manager Phil changes his mind after spending two weeks approving every minor fix, and one costly redo

Texas employee changes LinkedIn status to "Open to Work," now seeks legal protection after boss treats his social media post as a resignation letter

Texas employee changes LinkedIn status to "Open to Work," now seeks legal protection after boss treats his social media post as a resignation letter

Tenant does a small favor for his landlord, weeks later it turns into a massive headache: ‘It is insane how people feel entitled to things they do not pay for.’

Tenant does a small favor for his landlord, weeks later it turns into a massive headache: ‘It is insane how people feel entitled to things they do not pay for.’