the onion

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This Was His Third Warning

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Grotesque Misunderstanding of "The Point"

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Next She'll Be Looking Up the Melting Temperature of Steel...

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The Best Part is Admitting You're Wrong but Never Admitting You're Wrong

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Probably Worth Even More on eBay Now!

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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Anything for the Advancement of Science!

Text - The Onion 12 hrs the OO In Focus: Facebook Version Of Marriage Going Great SAN JOSE, CA-Citing the numerous photos and status updates that the couple regularly post online, sources confirmed Wednesday that the Face book version of Annie and Colin Wheeler's eight-year marriage is going extremely well. Several of... THEONION.COM Like Comment Share 9,713169 1,465 9,713 people like this. 1,465 shares Why is this "news", who are these people? E Like Reply1 8 hrs G This is the best comment to a

Please Tell Me More About These Completely Real People

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Even if it's a Joke?

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Somebody Get These Poor Children Off the Internet!

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That's as Much as One and a Half Tanks, Right?

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I'm Sure You "Chose" Every Bit of It

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Here's Hoping This Fake Ad Campaign Never Comes to Light

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If It's Good Enough for the Largest Mammals on Earth, It's Good Enough for You!