the onion

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Nope, Not an Ounce of Satire Here, Not at All...

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

Image Michael Phelps olympics sports swimming the onion - 6506714112

Oh, the Humanity!

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If It's Good Enough for the Largest Mammals on Earth, It's Good Enough for You!

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All the Baby With None of the Responsibility!

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Someone Read the Article, but Not the URL

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Yep, All These Lies Check Out

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Just How Ridiculous Are Things Going to Get?

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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Maybe if You Combine the Two?

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Attempting to Verify an Onion Story...

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You've Heard of This Fake Thing too?

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Our Hearts Go Out to the Not-Victims

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Even if it's a Joke?

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The Pants Struggle is Real

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Remote worker stops answering his older coworker's calls after being phoned 5-6 times daily, including during flights and customer dinners

Remote worker stops answering his older coworker's calls after being phoned 5-6 times daily, including during flights and customer dinners

55-year-old husband demands 46-year-old wife get a job if she wants to continue to "subsidize" their now-adult children: 'They live at home rent free'

55-year-old husband demands 46-year-old wife get a job if she wants to continue to "subsidize" their now-adult children: 'They live at home rent free'

22 Cooking Memes for Optimistic Home Chef Learning to Trust the Process (April 22th, 2026)

22 Cooking Memes for Optimistic Home Chef Learning to Trust the Process (April 22th, 2026)

Entitled 26-year-old lawyer insists he take over seasoned paralegal's case prep, only to jeopardize losing an important client

Entitled 26-year-old lawyer insists he take over seasoned paralegal's case prep, only to jeopardize losing an important client

Resident assumes their neighbor will volunteer as an unpaid dog sitter because they work from home, but the busy remote worker proves them wrong: ‘[She] got offended when I said no’

Resident assumes their neighbor will volunteer as an unpaid dog sitter because they work from home, but the busy remote worker proves them wrong: ‘[She] got offended when I said no’

Worker taking a lunch break becomes an unlikely hero after accidentally scaring off shoplifter who abandons stolen microwave in parking lot: ‘He dropped the cart and ran’

Worker taking a lunch break becomes an unlikely hero after accidentally scaring off shoplifter who abandons stolen microwave in parking lot: ‘He dropped the cart and ran’