the onion

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Joke's on Them, I'm Still a Fetus

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Thanks for Nothing, China!

Text - 5 hours ago Huh??? Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years www.theonion.com Share K WhAt Is this 4 hours ago I dont know, I thought it was interesting, lol read it,K about an hour ago - Edited

Heaven is for Real, and It's Full of Cheapskates

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Even if it's a Joke?

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Our Hearts Go Out to the Not-Victims

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Grotesque Misunderstanding of "The Point"

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Take THAT, Fictional Man!

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Proof That The Onion Has Memory-Altering Properties

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I'm Sure You "Chose" Every Bit of It

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Can't Get No Respect Around Here!

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Somebody Get These Poor Children Off the Internet!

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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The Reactions to This Onion Article May Have You Questioning Your Faith in Humanity

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This Was His Third Warning

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Strap on Your Moon Boots and Try to Reach the Heights of This Brave Man

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...