the onion

Text - 5 hours ago Huh??? Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years www.theonion.com Share K WhAt Is this 4 hours ago I dont know, I thought it was interesting, lol read it,K about an hour ago - Edited

Heaven is for Real, and It's Full of Cheapskates

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I Think They Meant to Say "Totally Awesome"

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We Hope This Means You Won't Keep Naively Posting Them

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Proof That The Onion Has Memory-Altering Properties

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Just How Ridiculous Are Things Going to Get?

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Untitled

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That's as Much as One and a Half Tanks, Right?

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Clearly That Rhino Wanted to Go to Disneyland

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I'm Sure You "Chose" Every Bit of It

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It's 'The Onion,' People! Relax!

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Next She'll Be Looking Up the Melting Temperature of Steel...

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There's a Special Exit Just for People Who Don't Get Jokes

Text - The Onion 12 hrs the OO In Focus: Facebook Version Of Marriage Going Great SAN JOSE, CA-Citing the numerous photos and status updates that the couple regularly post online, sources confirmed Wednesday that the Face book version of Annie and Colin Wheeler's eight-year marriage is going extremely well. Several of... THEONION.COM Like Comment Share 9,713169 1,465 9,713 people like this. 1,465 shares Why is this "news", who are these people? E Like Reply1 8 hrs G This is the best comment to a

Please Tell Me More About These Completely Real People

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You Got Your Weirdo Satire in My Recipes!

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"The Onion" Strikes Again!

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Sounds Like Somebody Else Could Use a Little More Intellect