the onion

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Welcome to the Lamebda System

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Ask for Stupidity and Ye Shall Receive

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Our Hearts Go Out to the Not-Victims

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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Just How Ridiculous Are Things Going to Get?

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Anything for the Advancement of Science!

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Praise be to Genes!

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For Once We Wish This Onion Headline Was the Real Deal

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"I Like the Concept"

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The Reactions to This Onion Article May Have You Questioning Your Faith in Humanity

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It's Not Often That The Onion Gets Someone's Hopes Up This Much

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[Satire] Get a Dictionary, Bro

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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The BeyHive Will Not be Pleased With This

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Shame About All the Clickbait Out There (Please Like, Comment, Subscribe, and Share)