the onion

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Shame About All the Clickbait Out There (Please Like, Comment, Subscribe, and Share)

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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Nonsense Never Sounded Better

Text - 5 hours ago Huh??? Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years www.theonion.com Share K WhAt Is this 4 hours ago I dont know, I thought it was interesting, lol read it,K about an hour ago - Edited

Heaven is for Real, and It's Full of Cheapskates

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There's a Special Exit Just for People Who Don't Get Jokes

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Nope, Not an Ounce of Satire Here, Not at All...

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Onions Make the Eyes Water

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The Pants Struggle is Real

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Anything for the Advancement of Science!

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Can't Get No Respect Around Here!

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"Facebook's New Feature Allows You to Pinpoint Exactly Where Your Life Went Wrong"

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You Got Your Weirdo Satire in My Recipes!

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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Squanto Taught Him How to Check His Blood Sugar Levels