the onion

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Oh, the Humanity!

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All the Baby With None of the Responsibility!

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The Best Part is Admitting You're Wrong but Never Admitting You're Wrong

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Another Point for the Onion!

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Squanto Taught Him How to Check His Blood Sugar Levels

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[Satire] Get a Dictionary, Bro

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Such a Brave Stance

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Case AAAAAAND Point

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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"The Onion" Strikes Again!

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Here's Hoping This Fake Ad Campaign Never Comes to Light

Text - 5 hours ago Huh??? Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years www.theonion.com Share K WhAt Is this 4 hours ago I dont know, I thought it was interesting, lol read it,K about an hour ago - Edited

Heaven is for Real, and It's Full of Cheapskates

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Meat is Murder, Satire is Hilarious, and These People Are Morons

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I Think They Meant to Say "Totally Awesome"

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We Hope This Means You Won't Keep Naively Posting Them

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18-year-old brother with 16, 13, and 12 year old siblings surprises his parents by moving out to get away from their irritating habit

18-year-old brother with 16, 13, and 12 year old siblings surprises his parents by moving out to get away from their irritating habit

The Most Magical Harry Potter Memes to Take On an Express Train Ride to Hogwarts

The Most Magical Harry Potter Memes to Take On an Express Train Ride to Hogwarts

34 DIY Fails from Hobbyist Handymen Who Really Should Have Called a Contractor

34 DIY Fails from Hobbyist Handymen Who Really Should Have Called a Contractor

Employee of 12-years is considered the ‘most essential,' but is written up when he comes in to help on his day off, so he quits on the spot: ‘The manager immediately started backpedaling, saying it was all a misunderstanding.’

Employee of 12-years is considered the ‘most essential,' but is written up when he comes in to help on his day off, so he quits on the spot: ‘The manager immediately started backpedaling, saying it was all a misunderstanding.’

Update: Washington man cuts down neighbor's 100-year-old tree, causing thousands of dollars in damages

Update: Washington man cuts down neighbor's 100-year-old tree, causing thousands of dollars in damages

Boss demands electrician apprentice, who makes $15 an hour, work for free to pay off mistake

Boss demands electrician apprentice, who makes $15 an hour, work for free to pay off mistake