the onion

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Proof That The Onion Has Memory-Altering Properties

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This Was His Third Warning

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You Were Too Young for This, Raisin

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Maybe if You Combine the Two?

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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"The Onion" Strikes Again!

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Ask for Stupidity and Ye Shall Receive

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For Once We Wish This Onion Headline Was the Real Deal

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Case AAAAAAND Point

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It's Not Often That The Onion Gets Someone's Hopes Up This Much

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Onions Make the Eyes Water

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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Strap on Your Moon Boots and Try to Reach the Heights of This Brave Man

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Nope, Not an Ounce of Satire Here, Not at All...

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Hoax, Satire, Basically the Same Thing

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Parents Just Don't Understand Satire

Trending Now

Teen dog sitter is expected to clock in and out like a 9-to-5 employee while caring for neighbor's dog in a roach-infested house: 'She expects corporate-level timesheet tracking'

Teen dog sitter is expected to clock in and out like a 9-to-5 employee while caring for neighbor's dog in a roach-infested house: 'She expects corporate-level timesheet tracking'

Hiring managers accidentally send post-interview discussion to a job candidate, leading candidate to hear everything they had to say about her: ‘Well, that's authentic feedback’

Hiring managers accidentally send post-interview discussion to a job candidate, leading candidate to hear everything they had to say about her: ‘Well, that's authentic feedback’

Gen Z employees demand “tone indicators,” older coworkers study and use them seriously, but young workers still get offended, and the whole thing gets dropped: ‘I’m here to do a job. That job is not babysitting anyone’s feelings’

Gen Z employees demand “tone indicators,” older coworkers study and use them seriously, but young workers still get offended, and the whole thing gets dropped: ‘I’m here to do a job. That job is not babysitting anyone’s feelings’

'It all started when...': Pour a dash of these laughs into your morning coffee for extra energy (June 20, 2026)

'It all started when...': Pour a dash of these laughs into your morning coffee for extra energy (June 20, 2026)

'I’ll do it later': 22-year-old daughter starts treating 58-year-old farmer dad like a child after 22 years of him failing to do what he said he will

'I’ll do it later': 22-year-old daughter starts treating 58-year-old farmer dad like a child after 22 years of him failing to do what he said he will

Woman moves in with boyfriend and discovers he pocketed her $100 moving van refund without telling her, then snaps when she asks about it: 'Fine, I'll put it in YOUR bank!'

Woman moves in with boyfriend and discovers he pocketed her $100 moving van refund without telling her, then snaps when she asks about it: 'Fine, I'll put it in YOUR bank!'