the onion

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"The Onion" Strikes Again!

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It's Not Often That The Onion Gets Someone's Hopes Up This Much

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

Text - 5 hours ago Huh??? Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years www.theonion.com Share K WhAt Is this 4 hours ago I dont know, I thought it was interesting, lol read it,K about an hour ago - Edited

Heaven is for Real, and It's Full of Cheapskates

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There's Nothing Fake About an Onion Headline

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Case AAAAAAND Point

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There's a Special Exit Just for People Who Don't Get Jokes

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"Facebook's New Feature Allows You to Pinpoint Exactly Where Your Life Went Wrong"

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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Strap on Your Moon Boots and Try to Reach the Heights of This Brave Man

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Shut it Down, There Aren't Any Better Comebacks Out There

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The Onion: Facebook Now a Branch of the CIA

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This is the Brand New Hotspot for Teens on the Internet

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Thanks for Nothing, China!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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What Part of "via The Onion" Did You Not Understand?

Trending Now

26-year-old woman refuses when neighbor demands bread after complaining about the noise created by her baking: 'She is now telling other people in our building that I'm petty and unneighborly'

26-year-old woman refuses when neighbor demands bread after complaining about the noise created by her baking: 'She is now telling other people in our building that I'm petty and unneighborly'

'Flight turned out to be a bus': Passenger tries to fly from Portland to South Bend only to discover they've been assigned to a bus instead

'Flight turned out to be a bus': Passenger tries to fly from Portland to South Bend only to discover they've been assigned to a bus instead

'[I’m not] her backup plan': Childfree coworker refuses to continue bending over backwards for a single mom when she starts taking advantage of their availability, setting healthy office boundaries

'[I’m not] her backup plan': Childfree coworker refuses to continue bending over backwards for a single mom when she starts taking advantage of their availability, setting healthy office boundaries

Restaurant charges customer twice after they ask to remake a dish because it had eggs in it, customer refuses to pay altogether: ‘The menu did not list eggs’

Restaurant charges customer twice after they ask to remake a dish because it had eggs in it, customer refuses to pay altogether: ‘The menu did not list eggs’

25-year-old refuses to spy on his 30-year-old neighbor despite the man’s mom attempting to pay him off: ‘She offered me $20 a week’

25-year-old refuses to spy on his 30-year-old neighbor despite the man’s mom attempting to pay him off: ‘She offered me $20 a week’

Biotech employee starts planning to quit after their boss expects them to train the fresh-out-of-college new hire they gave the promotion to :‘[She’s] asking me to hold her hand through tasks daily’

Biotech employee starts planning to quit after their boss expects them to train the fresh-out-of-college new hire they gave the promotion to :‘[She’s] asking me to hold her hand through tasks daily’