the onion

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Squanto Taught Him How to Check His Blood Sugar Levels

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Clearly That Rhino Wanted to Go to Disneyland

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Yep, Someone's Not Getting it Alright

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The Extra Apostrophe is the Kicker

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I Think They Meant to Say "Totally Awesome"

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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That's as Much as One and a Half Tanks, Right?

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Shut it Down, There Aren't Any Better Comebacks Out There

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Sneaky Hillary Is at It Again

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Untitled

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World Cup 2014: Illuminati for Stupid People Edition

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Thanks for Nothing, China!

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Welcome to the Lamebda System

Text - The Onion 12 hrs the OO In Focus: Facebook Version Of Marriage Going Great SAN JOSE, CA-Citing the numerous photos and status updates that the couple regularly post online, sources confirmed Wednesday that the Face book version of Annie and Colin Wheeler's eight-year marriage is going extremely well. Several of... THEONION.COM Like Comment Share 9,713169 1,465 9,713 people like this. 1,465 shares Why is this "news", who are these people? E Like Reply1 8 hrs G This is the best comment to a

Please Tell Me More About These Completely Real People

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Another Victim of The Onion

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Anderson Cooper Falls for the Oldest Trick in the Book of the Internet

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'I'm bored so unless you sweep me off my feet, I probably wont text back': 23 dating app fails to make you feel less of a loser

'I'm bored so unless you sweep me off my feet, I probably wont text back': 23 dating app fails to make you feel less of a loser

Man refuses to continue supporting 60-year-old mother after 18 months of doing so, leading him to question whether or not that was a good decision: 'The timeline I warned her about has now arrived.'

Man refuses to continue supporting 60-year-old mother after 18 months of doing so, leading him to question whether or not that was a good decision: 'The timeline I warned her about has now arrived.'

Horse Owner Begs Mom Not to Let Students Ride Her New Horse Daisy, Gets Called Entitled: ‘Hard to feel sorry for a child who was bought 2 horses’

Horse Owner Begs Mom Not to Let Students Ride Her New Horse Daisy, Gets Called Entitled: ‘Hard to feel sorry for a child who was bought 2 horses’

Family with unhinged landlord turn the tables after finally moving out, enjoy the rambling voicemails he still leaves them: 'The voicemails... were the highlight of my day there for a while.'

Family with unhinged landlord turn the tables after finally moving out, enjoy the rambling voicemails he still leaves them: 'The voicemails... were the highlight of my day there for a while.'

Overworked employee doing a 3-person job solo gets denied PTO for a two-day vacation after her company laid off the rest of the department and never replaced anyone

Overworked employee doing a 3-person job solo gets denied PTO for a two-day vacation after her company laid off the rest of the department and never replaced anyone

Homeowner calls cops on neighbor who cut down 11 of their 30-year-old trees: 'This is going to be very expensive for him'

Homeowner calls cops on neighbor who cut down 11 of their 30-year-old trees: 'This is going to be very expensive for him'