the onion

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Just How Ridiculous Are Things Going to Get?

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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For Once We Wish This Onion Headline Was the Real Deal

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Such a Brave Stance

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Our Hearts Go Out to the Not-Victims

Text - 5 hours ago Huh??? Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years www.theonion.com Share K WhAt Is this 4 hours ago I dont know, I thought it was interesting, lol read it,K about an hour ago - Edited

Heaven is for Real, and It's Full of Cheapskates

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If It's Good Enough for the Largest Mammals on Earth, It's Good Enough for You!

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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Sneaky Hillary Is at It Again

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Suck It, Earth!

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All the Baby With None of the Responsibility!

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What Part of "via The Onion" Did You Not Understand?

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Another Victim of The Onion

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You Were Too Young for This, Raisin

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There's a Special Exit Just for People Who Don't Get Jokes

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Minnesota land owner now faces a hefty lawsuit after selling off classic car bodies for $600 over 6 years ago, when the cars had already been left on the property by the previous owner for 8 years: 'I sold them for a whopping $600 in May of 2020'

Minnesota land owner now faces a hefty lawsuit after selling off classic car bodies for $600 over 6 years ago, when the cars had already been left on the property by the previous owner for 8 years: 'I sold them for a whopping $600 in May of 2020'

Ohio woman resigns from her medical billing job and discovers her former manager is telling clients she was fired for misconduct involving patient accounts: ‘I don’t want this rumor to damage my new job before I even start’

Ohio woman resigns from her medical billing job and discovers her former manager is telling clients she was fired for misconduct involving patient accounts: ‘I don’t want this rumor to damage my new job before I even start’

Company owner demands employees fill out anonymous survey about work, only to turn it into a public loyalty test: ‘Everyone in the room realized this was a test’

Company owner demands employees fill out anonymous survey about work, only to turn it into a public loyalty test: ‘Everyone in the room realized this was a test’

Tenant changes Wi-Fi password to block freeloading neighbor, he guesses the new one and offers to split the bill: '[It was your dog’s name with 123 at the end]'

Tenant changes Wi-Fi password to block freeloading neighbor, he guesses the new one and offers to split the bill: '[It was your dog’s name with 123 at the end]'

Update: Boss denies employee's July PTO request because it aligns with her vacation, employee refuses to cancel her trip, finds better job at competitor

Update: Boss denies employee's July PTO request because it aligns with her vacation, employee refuses to cancel her trip, finds better job at competitor

‘Oh my gosh, what a trick’: Management job candidate walks out mid-interview after finding out mid-way through the role is actually entry-level customer support

‘Oh my gosh, what a trick’: Management job candidate walks out mid-interview after finding out mid-way through the role is actually entry-level customer support