the onion

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Our Hearts Go Out to the Not-Victims

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You Were Too Young for This, Raisin

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So Immature

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Sounds Like Somebody Else Could Use a Little More Intellect

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Squanto Taught Him How to Check His Blood Sugar Levels

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This Was His Third Warning

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Missing the Point: It Can Happen to People You Know

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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Meat is Murder, Satire is Hilarious, and These People Are Morons

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Put This One on Ice, Please

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Clearly That Rhino Wanted to Go to Disneyland

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Proof That The Onion Has Memory-Altering Properties

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Just How Ridiculous Are Things Going to Get?

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Such a Brave Stance

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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Grotesque Misunderstanding of "The Point"