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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Manager demands that "employee log every moment" of their time, employee complies, spends so much time filling in their timesheet that their billable hours tank: 'After 3 weeks my overhead total was sitting at 18.75 hours for a 40-hour week'
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Employee gets punished for being great at his job, so he decides to stop trying at all: 'Even though I performed my duties better than the others in my department, I was effectively punished for being so good.'
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Neighbor’s fencing contractor destroys Oregon homeowner's irrigation system and landscaping, they both deny responsibility, so he plans to sue them both: ‘The damage is around $4,500’
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Volunteer refuses to come back after being bossed around, given no water, no bathroom breaks, and nearly having her phone confiscated, gets emails a year later telling her she needs to be a better team player
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A hardworking man refuses to let his brother live rent-free in his second flat after years of saving to buy it: ‘I can't set myself on fire to keep him warm’
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