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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Neighbor helps 70-year-old lady with groceries, but puts her foot down after demands get out of hand: 'It started feeling like a job...'
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Neighbor cuts down homeowner's oak tree because of one overgrown branch, damaging homeowner's property in the process: 'If you kept your tree in check, this wouldn't have happened'
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New hire shows up to an empty office with no one to train him, ends up collecting a paycheck for 7 months before someone notices
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Professional chef disappoints friends after bringing store-bought dip for a potluck, explains that she's not the unpaid caterer: ‘I cook professionally for 50-60 hours a week… I just want to exist at a social event!'
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Neighbor chains off shared driveway from new homeowner, claims he's "securing [his] property", tells homeowner to knock and ask for permission to access: 'This driveway situation was not his first attempt at this kind of thing'
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