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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee accepts 18k raise and promotion, quickly finds himself wishing he was back in his old job because of the increased time, stress, and responsibility: 'Now I spend 60% of my time in meetings'
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Employee comes down with the flu and requests to leave their shift early, manager approves but coworker refuses to let them go: ‘"I'm not missing out on my break!"’
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Beloved manager resigns and entire team follows, forcing the store to close down: 'There was literally no one left to work'
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UPDATE: Employee refuses to organize boss's 50th birthday party after he made 0 effort for their birthday: 'I told him I'm not having anything to do with organizing anything for him'
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15+ New employees who got fired on the spot: 'She didn't even make it through the office tour'
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