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Jimmy Fallon Got Help from Twitter to Collect the Best #DadQuotes

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Daddy Doesn't Care

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Sleep Soundly, Little Sunflower

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Dad Loves One Thing and One Thing Only

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Clever manufacturing plant worker plans a 20-person meeting that no one attends, then gets even with the no-show employees: 'Management had a fit'

Clever manufacturing plant worker plans a 20-person meeting that no one attends, then gets even with the no-show employees: 'Management had a fit'

Roommate’s girlfriend slowly turns shared living room into full-time home office, tenant asks her to start paying rent

Roommate’s girlfriend slowly turns shared living room into full-time home office, tenant asks her to start paying rent

21 Cooking Fails for Optimistic Home Chefs Learning to Trust the Process (May 27th, 2026)

21 Cooking Fails for Optimistic Home Chefs Learning to Trust the Process (May 27th, 2026)

Coworker sends employee's private texts complaining about the boss, to the boss: 'She's trying to set me up'

Coworker sends employee's private texts complaining about the boss, to the boss: 'She's trying to set me up'

Woman drives 13 hours to high school reunion only to discover no one bothered to attend: 'Besides the girl who planned it, I was the only person who showed up'

Woman drives 13 hours to high school reunion only to discover no one bothered to attend: 'Besides the girl who planned it, I was the only person who showed up'

Senior operator follows his new manager’s order to stop making independent decisions, until manager Phil changes his mind after spending two weeks approving every minor fix, and one costly redo

Senior operator follows his new manager’s order to stop making independent decisions, until manager Phil changes his mind after spending two weeks approving every minor fix, and one costly redo