wife

Via NY Post:

Fan Lung, a dad of five, sealed his fate when he decided to use his wife's cellphone to send his secret lover a hot and heavy email, Central European News reports.

The 32-year-old forgot to log out of his account after the message was sent, which is how his 21-year-old wife, Feng — who is now under arrest for grievous bodily harm — came across the saucy exchange and snapped.

The jilted wife went berserk, grabbed a pair of scissors, stormed into their bedroom and cut off his penis while he was sleeping.

Lung was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to save the appendage and sew it back on. But Feng was able to sneak into the recovery room, where she chopped his penis off a second time and threw it out the window, according to CEN.

The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn't until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women's toilet mop and bucket room.

A japanese woman has allegedly slashed her husband across the face after he left the bathroom in a less than usable state. 

The man had been eating Pepper Jack Cheez-Its® (I can only assume it was an unconscionable amount) prior to the dump in question.

Via Metro:

Her anger was further fuelled when he tried to help their 3-year-old son use the toilet ‘without washing his own hands first’, she said, Jiji Press and other local media reported.

‘The toilet stinks so much that the child cannot even use it,’ Jiji reported her as saying.

You probably shouldn't detail your greatest loves on your dating profile if you don't want your husband to completely destroy them.