wife

OP: Dear wife, hold my hand, not my head!!

A japanese woman has allegedly slashed her husband across the face after he left the bathroom in a less than usable state. 

The man had been eating Pepper Jack Cheez-Its® (I can only assume it was an unconscionable amount) prior to the dump in question.

Via Metro:

Her anger was further fuelled when he tried to help their 3-year-old son use the toilet ‘without washing his own hands first’, she said, Jiji Press and other local media reported.

‘The toilet stinks so much that the child cannot even use it,’ Jiji reported her as saying.

This prank scales pretty far up there on the painful kind of cringeworthy prank category. Poor dude thinks he's just laid eyes on another man's wife, and you can see the clear frightened state of shock it throws him into. 

Via NY Post:

Fan Lung, a dad of five, sealed his fate when he decided to use his wife's cellphone to send his secret lover a hot and heavy email, Central European News reports.

The 32-year-old forgot to log out of his account after the message was sent, which is how his 21-year-old wife, Feng — who is now under arrest for grievous bodily harm — came across the saucy exchange and snapped.

The jilted wife went berserk, grabbed a pair of scissors, stormed into their bedroom and cut off his penis while he was sleeping.

Lung was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to save the appendage and sew it back on. But Feng was able to sneak into the recovery room, where she chopped his penis off a second time and threw it out the window, according to CEN.