Via _
FAIL
Russell Wilson wanted to shout his love from the Twitter tops with (more than one) #WomanCrushWednesday posts about Ciara. He searched desperately for the words to describe her beauty and settled on a mash-up of corny, poetic words from the first creative writing website he found.
This guy's story that he shared over on Reddit's "Today I F**ked Up' thread will leave you shook. I can only imagine what that guy is doing right now, after his devastating realization...
“This happened yesterday. So, I was lying on my bed in my room at home, reading, when I heard the front door open and my flatmate come in with a girl. He clearly didn’t think I was home, because they immediately went to his room (which shares a wall with mine). I was mildly amused by this, so I decided not to go out and ruin their fun.
“Before long, they start getting down to it and, since they didn’t think I was home, they weren’t shy about being vocal. He was grunting away, and she was moaning pretty loudly, shouting his name, etc. All this noise started to turn me on, so I started masturbating, figuring that this was better than porn because it was real-life. Eventually, the girl started moaning even louder, which I took to indicate that she was cumming, and there was some definite wall-banging as well, so it didn’t take me long to finish either. Satisfied, I went back to my book.
“After about half an hour or so, I was bored of being confined to my room, so I went out into the lounge, not really caring if I’d embarrass them; we’re all adults, we can just laugh it off.
“I walked into the lounge to find my flatmate sitting on the couch, watching TV, with his arm around my little sister.
“Christ. What have I done?”
These painful, cringe-inducing, vaguely sadistic experiences have yet to fail in the way of keeping things absolutely ridiculous. Our morally-grounded man of the hour stayed strong in the face of relentless, thirsty desperation. Seriously, this whole situation was too aggressive. Poor guy had to all but run away there.
This pathological liar bridezilla is in a trashy league of her own. The general tl;dr here is that she appoints the sister of her ex to step in as her maid of honor cause the other person falls through and she's "good at planning." From there it's a mess of last minute planning, a terrible bachelorette party at a dirty karaoke bar, and the unfortunate finale of a totally botched wedding day. Sounds like the maid of honor honestly dodged a bullet on this one.
There are flairs of originality, crudeness, immaturity, and silver-tongued smoothness throughout these randomly assorted moments from the Wild West of the Modern Dating World, Tinder. For all we know we're witnessing snapshots of history's next great love story. And it all started out with some locker room-level witticism...
