dating

Kudos for getting a girlfriend who makes sure you're healthy and well-rested, especially since most people get less sleep after getting a girlfriend/boyfriend.

After a certain length of time, my anxiety level reaches critical mass and I just give up and text her "lol nm ttyl" before jumping off a bridge.

It'd still be a fail even if s/he hadn't missed the "r" in "shirts." YES SMELLING OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIRTS IS CREEPY.

Sorry, I only date people with a solid grasp on proper grammar.

I still remember how he let his urine sit in the toilet bowl until the bathroom smelled like rancid cheddar... its color a varying shade of yellow, depending on how many cups of cherry kool-aid he'd had that day. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

Worst Valentine's Day ever.

Gurrl, I don't care if you just got a new phone or not, if you have to play games like these, it's probably not working out.

And "you're mean" begins with "y," as in "Y R U SO MEANNNNN OMG"

THAT'S WHY YOU SAY THESE THINGS IN PERSON

NOT OVER YOUR EXPENSIVE TOY

ARE YOU MAD