dating

Baby, I feel the same way about you that I do about hamburger helpers.

FINE I WILL

I'D RATHER SEE BACON WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING ANYWAY

After a certain length of time, my anxiety level reaches critical mass and I just give up and text her "lol nm ttyl" before jumping off a bridge.

Men! Good grammar is like fresh breath and a clean shirt! Never go without it when you're impressing the ladies. Also, it can lead to some confusion...

In how many song titles can we replace the word "love" with "E" and pretend it's about drugs? All I've got is "All You Need Is E," "The Power of E," and "It's Only E."

I don't see what's so nasty about a napkin stained with spaghetti sauce.

All of which takes place in the span of .3 seconds.

I swore that I could see heaven in your eyes, but it was a wrong number.