dating

And that's how this couple brought up the sensitive subject of pegging.

Crayons before mans. It's like "bros before hoes" except more relevant in this context. Oh god, what an awful title. #modproblems

In this analogy, the exploding bomb is the girl replying "Ewww, gross, you're a creepy schmuck and I award you two out of ten hottie points" and ignoring me. My bomb-ravaged body represents my self-esteem.

Dear Diary, today a stranger generously corrected my grammar for me. I learned valuable lessons about parts of speech and I hope my spoken English adheres more faithfully to standard usage. Thank you, kind stranger, thank you.

Worst Valentine's Day ever.

Now if you don't mind, I'll continue making out with my extensive collection of Batman gifs.