police

Don't drive shyammered, guys.

"Sir, stay calm! We have squad cars en route to Walmart to hook you up! Stay on the line!"

Via Elite Daily:

A lot of people would be excited to discover they managed to get someone's number in the blackout state, but that doesn't apply when the number is from a "nice ploice man."

You normally don't want to wake up with a hangover and a message from the police, but this guy should be grateful things didn't turn out worse.

Let's put this in perspective: the legal limit for driving while intoxicated is a BAC of 0.08, meaning this guy had eight times the legal limit in his system. Furthermore, in Iowa state police academy curriculum, officers are taught that a person with a BAC of 0.40 are likely to be in a coma. This guy has 1.5 times the amount needed to kill a person, and he was still driving. Talk about holding your liquor!

The police are going to be mighty pleased at all the free booze when they decide to patrol around the block.