Put your cinder blocks away, those wheels aren't worth anything.
And the table top is more stable than anything you can find at their stores.
I'm sorry, the operation didn't go as planned. We just couldn't find the clamps.
Despite the ridiculousness of this workaround, I highly doubt the kind of person who stole your doorbell with have any qualms about stealing your crappy rock bottle. ~NSHA
He was a really really good salesman. ~Not-So-Handy Andy
Not quite earthquake-safe, but it should hold up during a light breeze.