Never store your cat's prescription next to your own meds. #LFMF

Never absentmindedly leave the house with the cat's insulin syringe still tucked behind your ear. Building security will not understand. #LFMF

When you have more then one cut inside your mouth, salad with olive oil vinaigrette may not be a good food choice. Acidic foods have that name for a reason. #LFMF

When driving through a mountain pass do not gawk at girls, or the next thing you know your car will be stuck in a snow bank and you'll be standing knee deep in the snow waiting for the state patrol to rescue you. #LFMF

When giving your old, unused cell phone to your father, make sure you reset it first. That picture of a semi-naked anime girl that your best friend sent you almost a year ago is still saved somewhere you never knew existed. And your father will somehow find it. #LFMF

When you work in a clothing store, never look at a guy's crotch area and say "you're a big guy!" when trying to figure out his pant size. Especially if you don't realize how bad it sounded and why he kept grinning at you until after he'd left the store. #LFMF

if you're undergoing surgery that you're awake for and you know what they're going to do to you, don't hold your breath to help deal with it. They are monitoring your breathing and will try stick a tube down your throat. #LFMF