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For the sake of humanity itself we really hope this guy is some kind of comedy/creative writer, and that this DIDN'T actually occur. 

Humans have interrupted a lot of natural processes. Highways divide forests, and dams interrupt the migration routes for fish. But that isn't to say that we haven't found solutions to some of the problems that we created. Wildlife bridges have been built over highways allow animals to cross the highway safely. And in a recent Twitter storm, the public has rediscovered an amazing apparatus that scientists released in 2014 which helps salmon migrate. It is called the Salmon Cannon. And as you can imagine, everyone is obsessed with it. 

Want to entertain yourself with funny Twitter tidbits? Afraid of logging on because of...well, most people who tweet? We've got you covered. This batch of freshly harvested tweetsoffers all the humor without having to expose yourself to the stupid people and political fanatics on the website. You're safe here.

Winter is coming and we all know what that means...seasonal depression! We're gonna need all the warmth we can get, and one easy way to absorb those much needed good vibes is through wholesome images and stories about people being compassionate to others. We've got just the batch of feel-good content to warm you up inside as the days grow darker. If you're in the mood for even more wholesome goodness, we're one step ahead of you.

@Midnight asked the internet to #QuitYourJobIn5Words and they delivered in glorious fashion.

If the hashtag isn't obvious enough, users posted five-word phrases that would potentially cause them to lose their job.

Twitter's been an absolute nightmare of late between the election, the pandemic, and the unholy areas in which the two intersect. We're sick of the politics, and we're willing to bet that you are, too. To help you enjoy the good parts of Twitter, we've put together some amusing (and often sadly relatable) tweets that will remind you of the good parts of the site. Stay safe out there on the internet, y'all. There's so much to avoid.

Another week has gone by, which means another week of parents struggling to do their best as their kids test their patience day after day. Thank goodness for Twitter, which serves as an outlet for parents to get sympathy, empathy, and advice from other parents who are also winging the parenting journey. We've put together another list of funniest parenting tweets we came across this week to make you hopefully feel somewhat less alone in your parenting trials and tribulations. And here are last week's in case you missed them.

Ah, to be gifted with the skill of literary brevity. While we can't say we're capable of crafting short and sweet zingers, these Twitter users are more than adept at creating clever and punchy one or two-liners. In the words of The Office's Kevin Malone, "Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick."  

We're proud to say that it's not often our card gets declined. Usually it's because our bank has mistakenly flagged a purchase as suspicious due to travel or (gulp) overspending. The few times there's been an issue, baristas kindle wave away apologies and we walk away with a free coffee. But what if they weren't so kind? What if the people who provide us with paid services actually decided to get...revenge? 

The "Imagine Your Card Declines" Twitter meme explored this theme back in early September, but Redditors have been expanding on it by adding amusing images. Most of the "Credit Card Declines" memes imagine folks such as tattoo artists or therapists "undoing" their work as a consequence of nonpayment. They're obviously ridiculous, but seem to be pretty damn appealing to the internet. We've put together some of our favorite examples of the format, but you can read more about its origins over at Know Your Meme. 

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Summer's about to be over and the United States is still struggling to control the coronavirus pandemic. While some states seem to be improving (some after a dismal first wave), California, Texas, and Florida are seeing dismal increases in both cases and deaths. As all the mask-haters and conspiracy theorists butt heads with scientists and government officials, many of us are left to sit at home, job hunt, and dream of a day we can go to a bar with friends without risking our lives or the lives of someone else. We're also left to cope with corona-related memes like these. If we can't laugh at our situation, then we know we're really screwed.

Well if that isn't a new and unexpected way to get out of a speeding ticket. Can't say we recommend trying it out, but at the very least this guy's got a story for the books. Well done, my dude. 

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going about the times that egotistical people got reminded that they "have no power here." Well, the thread isn't all egomaniacs. Sometimes, it's a case of someone literally not having power. Like the homie that couldn't pay his electricity bill because he couldn't access the internet he needed to get the job done. It can be a deeply satisfying experience to watch someone who was power tripping all over the place get put in necessary check.