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Tumblr: a magical website with the bizarre, the hilarious and the unexpected. Think you've seen it all? Think again. The best one-liners, random threads and weird thoughts are yet to be discovered. 

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Enlightening Tumblr Thread On Meanings Of Figures Of Speech

We can all benefit from the pleasant reminder that we're actually radical human beings, and that the English language supports this theory. That being said, we haven't verified these, so they could be totally pulled out of thin air. Doesn't mean we weren't entertained. 

An informative Tumblr thread on actual meanings of figures of speech | dalekitsune phrase "curiosity killed cat" is actually not full phrase actually is "curiosity killed cat but satisfaction brought back" so don't let anyone tell not be curious little baby okay go and be interested world uwu
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Ridiculous Google Question Spirals Out Of Control

This quick Tumblr post shows just how quickly those dumb questions we type into Google can quickly spiral out of control. At least we don't actually have tons of moths trying to fly into the sun everyday. That'd be sad. Very sad. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread that provides an extreme analysis of the Ratatouille timeline.

A quick and funny Tumblr thread about a stupid Google question spiraling out of control | hedgehog-moss Follow started with asking an innocent question Google can tan front fireplace? Q Tous Images O Shopping O Vidéos answers were unanimously "no" but explanations were bit puzzling sun is not ball fire is ball hot stuff, but 's not like there's large pile wood at center flame
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Tumblr Thread: Closest Things Earth Has To Eldritch Abomination Gods

Uh, let's not forget about this Eldritch abomination from that recent story about a good old fashioned livestock drama. Alright, that being said the Sun really is a deadly laser. Yikes. Fear the old gods, indeed. 

A Tumblr thread about the closest things earth has to Eldritch abomination gods | gayarsonist are sun ocean and nuclear radiation michaelshelleys sun: unfathomably ancient, here before all us and will outlive us all by billions years its light is so strong prolonged exposure can burn or blind even millions miles away once worshipped as god by various religions and cults who made sacrifices appease will eventually expand as burns
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Tumblr Thread Follows Wholesome Family History Of Animal Rescues

This year (more than ever) it feels like we're struggling to find a smidgen of good news in a fiery garbage pit of tragedy. Every once in a while we get lucky, and today is one of those days. Over a year ago, Tumblr user gallusrostromegalus shared an incredibly wholesome (and incomplete) list of animals their grandfather brought home to their grandma during their 67 year marriage. The list is comprehensive, funny, and reminds us that kindness does exist in the world. 

It's also not the first time that gallustromegalus has gone viral for animal-related content. The hilarious antics of their parents dog, Arwen, caught the attention of many media outlets such as Buzzfeed. They're currently working on a book of family lore, but if you enjoyed this thread (and maybe the one about Arwen), consider donating to their Patreon. You'll receive more heartwarming content, and will be supporting a disabled writer who depends on their creativity to pay the bills.  

Wholesome list of animals someones grandparents brought home over the course of their long marriage, cute animals, cats, squirrels, dogs | gallusrostromegalus An Incomplete List Animals my Grandpa brought home over course his 67-year marriage Gandma Annabell solid white and completely deaf pit bull used let mom draw on her belly World's Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out be cuddiest teddy bear an animal Cocker spaniel named "Captain" Stupid Cat Litter baby raccoons Three more cats completely bald
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Elevator Karen Spits Verbal Venom At Kid, Kid Pretends To Be Blind

This kid's spontaneous decision to pretend that he was blind when faced with a rude Karen in the uncomfortably crammed confines of an elevator, was pure genius. He managed to awaken Karen's buried sense of humanity, and actually get her to calm down. That is no easy task. Wonder if this strategy works on all the angry Karens out there. Check out some more juicy Karen drama with this story about the time that Karen and Karen Jr. tried to cheat the school system, and got outed.

Funny tumblr story of an elevator Karen is mean to a kid on the elevator, so the kid pretends to be blind | captainthaddiusflorencefrancis inventivefraud Follow gale nomads Follow Did ever tell guys met Karen on cruise 13, got yelled at by her and before proceeded make her regret her life choices span 3 minutes on an elevator? gale nomads Follow Okay so this 11 years ago 13 and on cruise my Cousin's quinceanera (Royal Caribbean gave discounts those)
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thespacemaid if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins: - dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie topsiders-tanlines this is the quality content I wanna see
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We may not be able to indulge in trick-or-treating, but at least our jack-o-lanterns will be poppin' off.