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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee gets laid off without notice, and when he says he already has a new job, he gets asked if he was going to give proper notice: ‘You just told me my role is done by Friday, and you're asking me about proper notice.’
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IT Helpdesk manager emails demanding staff arrive 15 minutes early to login and be ready to take calls "1 second before" their shift, staff comply and hang up on customers the second their shift ends: 'Sorry to interrupt you, my shift is over. Goodbye'
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Retail employer demands 24/7 GPS tracking on workers making $16/hour through a “workforce management” app on their personal phones, the employees refuse: ‘Why do they need my location at 11 PM, on weekends, or while I’m on vacation?’
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Employee stops overworking as it hasn't brought any raises, workload increases for everybody else, boss notices how much he was doing when he stopped: 'He admitted I was doing work that should have been divided between at least two roles.'
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Woman asks boyfriend to look up a statistic while she's driving, realizes he's reading Google AI summaries, tells him to stop and sparks 10-minute argument: 'You are going to loose all your friends'
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