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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee arrives at their disciplinary work hearing with receipts that disprove the accusations against them, committee still gives them a written warning: ‘Politics trumped evidence’
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Neighbor “forgets” to return borrowed power tools, now wants man’s brand new pressure washer, leaving the owner stuck between politeness and protecting his stuff: ‘We share a driveway (duplex setup), so I see him literally every day and can't avoid him’
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Job candidate blindsided when their new employer terminates them on their first day on the basis of their first day being a "trial period": 'I had accepted a full-time job at $22/hour'
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17-year-old refuses to contribute $250 of his own savings to his younger brother's present despite parents' guilt trips and ultimatums: 'I used to love [my family] but we're basically strangers who live under the same roof'
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Employee fired just 5 days before Christmas after 8 years of service by their nepotistic boss, who inherited the company, watches the company go bankrupt: 'He's destroyed the company, starting with my firing'
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