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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Identical twin sister decides to start a life of her own after her parents encouraged an unhealthy, codependent familial relationship for years, family implodes as a result: ‘I just can't be enmeshed with her for the rest of my life’
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Condo resident reports "theatrical" HOA to fire marshal, after blocking essential accessibility ramp with holiday decor, gets the display removed causing backlash from the board: 'Accessibility is not optional or decorative'
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Employee quits stable job for better position elsewhere, then gets fired on day four with no justified explanation: '[They] told me I wasn't the right fit!'
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Employee takes an interview from a competitor, CEO finds out, employee gets fired: 'I'm honestly baffled by the situation'
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HR tells employee not to cover for two coworkers to avoid giving him leverage for another raise, employee maliciously complies years later when coworkers are out sick: 'Focus on my core responsibilities? You got it!'
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