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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee gets punished for being great at his job, so he decides to stop trying at all: 'Even though I performed my duties better than the others in my department, I was effectively punished for being so good.'
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Mother argues with family members over going to a funeral for a distant family member she doesn't even visit, or her daughter's dance recital: 'I wouldn’t mind attending if it weren’t for my daughter’s recital.'
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Hiring managers accidentally send post-interview discussion to a job candidate, leading candidate to hear everything they had to say about her: ‘Well, that's authentic feedback’
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'I’ll do it later': 22-year-old daughter starts treating 58-year-old farmer dad like a child after 22 years of him failing to do what he said he will
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Teen dog sitter is expected to clock in and out like a 9-to-5 employee while caring for neighbor's dog in a roach-infested house: 'She expects corporate-level timesheet tracking'
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