bumper

And apparently it petrifies that wood too.

Nowadays bumpers are made out of plastic. Consider this a formal request of the auto industry to start making bumpers out of whatever Nokias are made out of... "noki-ite."

Yes. This man drilled holes in his bumper and "sewed" it back together with zip ties.

So much bump you'd think it was a speakerbox.

Then use grit, spit, and duct tape! Free, free, and, like, five bucks at the drug store.

At least the duct tape blends in with the color of the car... almost. It's not "broken," it's "having a certain rugged charm."

If your theme is "badass," you certainly can't go wrong with chains.

We'll hold up the bumper if we work together! There's no "I" in kludge!

Some people say I eat too many chocolate bars...

"Bought this car for $300, I finally sold this car when the axle was about to rust out of the frame. I got $300 for it."

Now that's Das Auto! ... Wait, no, that's Volkswagen... You know what, I don't care, it's Das Auto anyway!

Then you could say this idea just... well... sprung up!

Just a minor fender bender