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Restaurant Owner Puts Whiny Customer Who Failed to Leave Honest Yelp Review In Her Place With Awesome Response

If you're going to take the time to leave a scathing Yelp review for a shitty restaurant, in hopes to deter future customers from considering offering their hard-earned coin, then seriously just tell the truth. Not only does this women come across like a five star high maintenance complainer who probably made her server's life a momentary living hell; but she doesn't even do the rest of the world and the restaurant the courtesy of telling the damn truth! At least the owner struck while the iron was hot, and lashed out with a solid reply that had to have put her in her place.

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Cringeworthy comedic gold. Like actually though. Yelp doesn't get enough attention for the sheer amount of passive aggressive meets outright redfaced angry hockey dad reviews people churn out in the name of steering other people they've never met away from unacceptable establishments. Granted, some of these reviews are truly helpful.

I'm not trying to taste the fiery pits of a five star pad thai hell on a plate unless I know that that chicken's been cooked to completion. 

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This Woman's Yelp Review of Her Past Dates Are All You Need to Know to Find the Perfect Romantic Venue

Looking for a great place to take a date? Many people turn to internet services like Yelp to pre-screen their choice. This woman decided to review the locations of her past dates based solely on the date that took place. If you've ever scrolled through reviews of a theater and thought, yea it seems clean enough but does it have a photo booth to make out in? Now you'll know the important details of these choice romantic locations.

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Via WOOD TV8
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Here we go again.

Brian Klawiter, the owner of Dieseltec auto repair shop in Grandville, MI declared on the business’Facebook page Tuesday that they will not serve gay people because “homosexuality is wrong, period.”

From the post:

Enough is enough. Our rights as conservative Americans are being squashed more and more everyday. Apparently if you are white (or close to it), you have a job, go to church, and own a gun… That translates into racists, privileged, bigot, conspiracy theorist. Too many of us say nothing. Well, freedom of speech isn’t just for Liberals, THEY are the ones that need to learn to “co-exist”, THEY are the ones who need to WORK to be “equal”

So if you’re looking for a lube job, gays, look elsewhere, because Mr. Klawiter is not going to service you. Even if you have one of these sexy problems listed on his website.

Is your Duramax smoking? Does your Powerstroke not start when it’s hot? How about your Cummins, is it putting down the power it could be?

In fact, if you are gay and bring your car in for repairs, he jokes that he will put your vehicle together with all bolts and no nuts and you can see how that works.”

It might sound like a threat, but he later clarified his comments.

The bolt and nut thing was a reference to physiology, bolt penis and nut v@gina. I DID NOT threaten to purposely put a vehicle together wrong to harm someone.

WARNING gay bolt pr0n below.

While gays are not welcome, he says that guns are encouraged. He is offering a special deal to anyone who brings a firearm into his shop.

And as with the Memories Pizza debacle, the company’s Yelp page has already been inundated with negative reviews and humorous comments.

But don’t think about raising hundreds of thousands of dollars on a GoFundMe page for the poor guy, because he won’t take it.

“I also am not asking for anyone to do the gofundme postings,” he wrote. “We are a successful business and are blessed to be able to feed our families. If there is any money raised it will be redistributed to people with greater needs than ours.”

Here are some highlights from Yelp so far.

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Via Buzzfeed
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Memories Pizza made waves this week when they openly declared they would deny catering service to gay weddings and other practices they say would infringe upon their religious beliefs - as is now within their legal right in Indiana. Predictably, late night television, the internet, and Twitter had a field day with the small business in an even smaller town.

Nowhere is that more apparent though on the company's Yelp page, which now resembles the twisted amalgamation of every internet comment thread you'd never want to read in your life ever. Above you can see but a fraction of the impotent web-rage that the pizza place has generated, both in support and dreision. Yelp staff has already undergone an extensive process to remove violent and threatening comments from the page, but what remains is horrifying enough on its own. 

Memories set up a GoFundMe crowdsourcing page to cover the "financial loss endured by the proprietors' stand for faith," generating $240,000 in less than 24 hours. The more cynical among us might consider this a blatant cash grab and publicity stunt for a tiny pizza joint in an unknown town, but I mean... It costs a lot of money to generate this kind of controversy and garner support from American conservatives, right?

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Botto Bistro in Richmond, CA near the Bay Area is fed up with Yelp's alleged manipulation of consumer reviews. To combat corruption within Yelp, Botto Bistro has a new, lofty goal: be the single worst reviewed restaurant on Yelp. Show the public that Yelp reviews don't correspond at all to the actual quality of the restaurant. They're so dedicated to their goal that they now offer a 25% discount on meals if the customer writes a scathing Yelp review.

Congratulations, Darrin Z., Daniel B., and Diana A. You all just earned 25% off of your next meal at Botto Bistro!