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funny tweets and jokes from twitter | Paul @bingowings 14 Fingers crossed 's hummus Hidden dip road sign

A Bushel of Funny Tweets to Savor

A quick Twitter thread about an IT guy's terrible fail | Vicki Boykis Follow @vboykis This is most terrifying page l've read all week Creativity, Inc. by Pixar's Ed Catmull. Buzz Lightyear Toy Story

Twitter Thread: Panicked Network Admin's Fail Threatens Future Of Pixar

Funny moments from Jurassic Park's Twitter account | Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK karen is here and she is demanding speak our manager are going tell her our manager is t. rex haha

Comedy Gold From Jurassic Park's Twitter Account

An oblivious woman ignores a series of ominous signs at an open house | Olivia Cole @RantingOwl Sol may have done whitest thing imaginable today never thought would be this white woman. But here are. Join this story

Twitter Thread: Woman Ignores Ominous Signs At Open House

A collection of moments that made us facepalm | Snee ee Thusds Jewant il Here is schedule hey think have wrong number Then is number because have 51 is my number Read 11:36 AM Ok then why did say have wrong number because not person trying text | Friend has been complaining about finding an avocado on his lawn every day weeks now. Why would someone keep throwing avocados his yard? Who would do guys he just realized he has an avocado tree 8:51 PM 8/22/19 Twitter iPhone 2,213 Retweets 22.9K Likes

Facepalm Moments From The Dimmest Bulbs

Hilarious Twitter thread about a man's eucalyptus fail in the shower | Owner an Amulet @solomonmissouri bought some eucalyptus oil cause spiritual girls said would "help with intention"

Twitter Thread: Man's Eucalyptus Experience Results In Disaster

A collection of clever comebacks that silenced their recipients | hcrld +21 Queue is just Q followed by 4 silent letters. v Robot_Spider +62 They aren't silent. They're waiting their turn. weallheartonedirection: Internet at its finest

Remarkable Retorts That Wrecked People

A speech pathologist helps out autistic kid on flight | Rachel R. Romeo @RachelRRomeo just had such an affirming experience. On my 8hr intl flight back conference sat next father/son broken English father began apologize/ warn his ~10 yr-old son had severe nonverbal autism, and this would like be difficult journey. 1/

Twitter Thread: A Speech-Language Pathologist's Affirming Experience

Twitter thread about a little lizard eating gardeners' pill bugs and blueberries | Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamajama So had massive infestation pill bugs who ate our zucchini twice. So put out beer traps (they go drink beer, they fall Then mystery occurred 8:32 PM Apr 25, 2020 Twitter iPhone lessica Ellis Replying baddestmamajama put traps our veggie bed, dug into soil. They were fact catching ZILLION pill bugs. Literally FULL BRIM by morning baddestmamajama 20h And then traps started Move. 2 13

Twitter Thread: Devious Alligator Lizard Creates Havoc In Garden

A Twitter thread about sexism in the workplace | Why is only women who see sexism everywhere? Martin R. Schneider @Schneid 2d v Nicole and worked small employment service firm and one complaint always came our boss: She took too long work with clients. Martin R. Schneider @Schneid. 2d v As her supervisor considered this minor nuisance at best figured reason got things done faster having more experience 17 313 1,147 Martin R. Schneider @Schneid 2d v So one day l'm emailing client back- and-forth

Twitter Thread: Sexism In The Workplace

Funny Twitter thread about a man's surreal McDonald's visit | Josh Raby @JoshRaby 's 1AM and decided wanted milkshake. So there's McDonald's near my house greeted at drive thru by following sentence:

Twitter Thread: Man's McDonald's Trip Reads Like A Fever Dream

A collection of funny Scottish tweets that don't make complete sense | hey duggee fangirl @PygmyLoris GIRLS years, my very glaswegian husband thought words were wean manger" and this will never stop being funny 9:59 PM 12/21/18 Twitter iPhone

Delightful Heap Of Scottish Tweets

Interesting Twitter thread on the history behind Cleopatra | Anne Thériault O. 05/02/2018 Cleopatra: looks like had twins Cleopatra named them after two great world leaders Mark Antony love too, babe Cleopatra: no mean after 200 Alexander Great and also O 29 271146 4 030 1 Anne Thériault O. 05/02/2018 Cleopatra: one them has middle name Sun and other one has middle name moon Mark Antony s bit Cleopatra: welcome Ancient Egypt Land Being Extra 27174 1 507 1

Twitter Thread: Fascinating History On Cleopatra

Funny twitter jokes | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks

Funny Tweets to Give that Day a Boost

A collection of entitled and choosing beggars | Replying Wendys and @McDonalds take lifetime supply spicy nuggs 2722 1,525 Wendy's O @Wendys 1d keep buying spicy nuggs rest life Q 34 27211 10.8K

Choosy Beggars And Other Greedy Creatures

Awesome mystery Twitter thread about a Roman ring | Gareth Harney @OptimoPrincipi 1 stranger than fiction Roman ring mystery thread: this enigmatic Roman gold ring found ploughed field near Silchester 1785 square bezel has portrait pagan goddess Venus, inscribed backwards SUNEV use as signet ring by owner. Curiously

Twitter Thread: Stranger Than Fiction History Behind Roman Ring

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Employee uses obscure employee handbook loophole to take PTO when their boss forbids them from taking it before it expires: 'PTO requests not explicitly denied [...] within 48 business hours are [...] approved.”'

Employee uses obscure employee handbook loophole to take PTO when their boss forbids them from taking it before it expires: 'PTO requests not explicitly denied [...] within 48 business hours are [...] approved.”'

‘She quit a week later. Three others followed. All four mentioned the "family" hypocrisy’: CEO calls company family for years, denies financial help to a longtime employee after she loses her house, then criticizes her for not being “team player”

‘She quit a week later. Three others followed. All four mentioned the "family" hypocrisy’: CEO calls company family for years, denies financial help to a longtime employee after she loses her house, then criticizes her for not being “team player”

'Guess I'll take lunch then': New manager triples employees' workload, refusing to let anyone go home before everyone is done, employee uses their lunch break to "avoid" working

'Guess I'll take lunch then': New manager triples employees' workload, refusing to let anyone go home before everyone is done, employee uses their lunch break to "avoid" working

Elderly home sellers fail to disclose HOA to buyer, forcing them to pay decades of debt, leading buyer to refuse to let sellers pick up their lawnmower after the sale: ‘They want it back out of spite’

Elderly home sellers fail to disclose HOA to buyer, forcing them to pay decades of debt, leading buyer to refuse to let sellers pick up their lawnmower after the sale: ‘They want it back out of spite’

‘My car was covered in plastic’: Neighbor hires contractors to paint their house, they end up spraying paint all over a next-door resident's car and try to hide the evidence

‘My car was covered in plastic’: Neighbor hires contractors to paint their house, they end up spraying paint all over a next-door resident's car and try to hide the evidence

Entitled coworker keeps volunteering employee for extra work, she finally confronts him: 'Oh, Sarah can take that, she’s great with client calls!'

Entitled coworker keeps volunteering employee for extra work, she finally confronts him: 'Oh, Sarah can take that, she’s great with client calls!'