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Guy Tries To Pretend He Doesn't Know English, Fails Hard

This guy made a grave mistake. And that mistake was one of him trying to tell a lady asking for money that he didn't speak English, while he very well did the whole time. It's tough to pull off the whole "I don't speak your language" thing when you're literally speaking their language right back to them. 

Guy tries to pretend that he doesn't know English and he fails miserably.
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Guy Calls Parents On Alexa, They Think It's Haunted

Just imagining the confused and terrified expressions on the faces of this guy's parents is enough for a big laugh. Talk about a classic case of an older generation just not understanding all the crazy technology we have at our disposal nowadays. Nobody wants a haunted Alexa in their household. 

Guy tries to call his parents by using an Alexa, and they end up thinking that it's haunted.
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Employee Gets Collectible Can Of Coke For Secret Santa, Drinks It

This employee was gifted a very old can of Coke that definitely sounds like it was a sugary toxic waste dump. And like any rational human being, they decided to drink it. The good news here is that they somehow didn't get sick from the 35-year-old can of Coke. Definitely didn't see things going that way. 

Employee gets gifted a very old collectible can of Coke for Secret Santa, and they proceed to drink it.
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Employee Humiliates Himself By Talking Like Smeagol At New Job

This embarrassed employee shares a tale about a particularly embarrassing experience at a new job, where they were overheard by coworkers while reenacting the infamous Smeagol from Lord of the Rings. Kind of an awkward situation to get caught up in. 

An employee embarrasses himself by talking like Smeagol in front of his coworkers at his job.
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Student Messes Up By Saying "Ok Boomer" To Teacher

This student lived to regret uttering an "ok boomer" to an upset teacher in class. Now it sounds like they're running the risk of getting a "C" in class. Gotta be careful with bringing those viral memes that target the "boomer generation" in class. 

Student messes up by telling his teacher "ok boomer" amidst the meme.
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Guy Regrets Quoting Thanos While Arguing With Girlfriend

This guy learned that it probably isn't best to break out a quote from Marvel's iconic Mad Titan villain, Thanos. Well, at least when you're in the middle of a heated argument with your girlfriend about her moving away. Questionable move there, bud. 

Guy lives to regret quoting Thanos to his girlfriend while they're arguing.
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Guy Wears Cursed Shawl, Ends Up Losing Girlfriend

This guy found himself in quite the silly conundrum after wearing a "cursed shawl" alongside his shawl bro. Sounds like it sent his girlfriend into a bit of a tailspin, and she proceeded to aggressively question him on his sexuality. At a certain point, it just became clear that things weren't destined to be. Who knew a shawl could end up crushing a relationship with such swift precision. 

Guy wears an ugly, cursed shawl and ends up losing his girlfriend in the process.
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Dude Messes Up By Not Washing His Hair Properly For 10 Years

This guy experienced quite the wakeup call when he realized that he'd been washing his hair incorrectly for over 10 years. What he previously assumed was an unavoidable case of white flakes peppering the barber shop's floor every time he went in for a visit, was actually a symptom of very poor hygiene. Or at least that's how it sounds. Sounds like he proceeded to make sure things were squeaky clean up top, for going forwards. Lesson learned. Better late than never! 

Guy messes up by not washing his hair properly for over 10 years.
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Guy Sleep Jumps Out Window, Lands In The Hospital

This guy decided to watch "American Horror Story" before going to sleep, and ended up waking up so frightened that he jumped out the window. Not only that, but he proceeded to provide proof in his Reddit recap. We hope he's off to a speedy recovery. Sounds like an absolutely terrible situation to find yourself in. Can't imagine what was going through his head when he came to, falling out the window. 

Guy watches American Horror Story before bed, ends up sleep jumping out the window.
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Guy Ends Up Crying His Eyes Out On A Movie Date

This guy ended up finding himself in the middle of quite the painful feels trip when him and his date watched a movie that brought back a memory of watching it with his ex! Yikes. Sounds like someone needs a bit more time to heal before he gets back out there. 

Guy goes on a date and ends up crying because they watch a movie that was important to him and his ex.
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Guy Loses Gangster's Flirty Daughter A Frat Party

This guy just wanted to help out some "family friends" who very well might've been gangsters. He ended up volunteering his services for taking one of the guy's daughters along to a frat party. The complication in that plan was that she was notorious for being "boy crazy" and he didn't end up keeping a close eye on her. Fortunately, his moment of panic when his life likely flashed before his eyes, gave way to a simple joke. Phew. 

Guy loses a gangster's flirty daughter at a frat party.
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Guy Pranks Girlfriend By Pretending To Be Twin Brother, Finds Out She Cheated

This guy thought he'd play an innocent little prank on his girlfriend by pretending to be his twin brother, and ended up stumbling upon a heartbreaking realization. It turns out his twin brother had been seeing his girlfriend on and off for months behind his back. What a terrible mess. His brother and ex-girlfriend are terrible people. Plain and simple. 

Guy pranks his girlfriend by pretending to be his twin brother, and finds out she cheated on him with his brother.
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Girl Deeply Regrets Drunk Texting Her Crush

Anyone who's ever over indulged in some alcoholic beverages can appreciate it's ability to blind the judgement and good senses. Especially when it comes to NOT sending off a barrage of questionable texts to someone you have a crush on. When drunk it might seem like the best idea in the world, but sober up and everything feels doomed. 

Girl regrets drunk texting her crush.
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Guy Misses Out On Business Venture Cause Of Gmail's Spam Folder

This guy's story about an exciting business venture falling through the cracks and into his spam folder serves as a cautionary tale, to keep a wary eye on your inbox AND spam folder. You never know if that one email you were waiting to hear back on just got filed to the wrong folder. 

today i fucked up reddit
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Event Manager Fails To Make Sure Wedding Has Officiant

This event manager experienced a bit of a nightmare, and forgot to make sure that the wedding they were in charge of helping plan, had an officiant! So, naturally they ended up illegally marrying the couple themselves. Hopefully they didn't have stage fright. 

Event manager fails to make sure that wedding has an officiant, so they end up marrying the couple illegally themselves.
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Guy's Translation Fail Results In Him Filling Up His Petrol Car With Diesel

Sometimes the language barrier can hurt you more than others. In this case, the guy thought that "gasoleo" would get the job done for him, when he went to fill up his Petrol car. Unfortunately, that actually translated to Diesel, and he found himself in quite the bind, and in need of a mechanic. Fortunately he was able to resolve the issue, and move forward. But you gotta love the fail! 

Guy's language translation fail results in him filling up his Petrol car with Diesel.
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