spiders

This fun Tumblr thread shines light on what goes into working at a cranberry bog. Basically, you've got to be chill with wolf spiders or you're doomed. Check out more radically random and funny Tumblr gems over here.

Wow, this Tumblr thread is quick and particularly absurd. We've got a true case of a mad lad who apparently conquered their spider infestation problem, by, well, eating them. Yeah, that's a curveball you don't see everyday. Real or not, just imagining some dude doing this is equal parts mind blowing strange and hilarious. 

Well, that's one way to get your protein with your water. Just imagine waking up, potentially disoriented as many humans are at that moment, and then realizing that you've accidentally ingested a spider. Panic might ensue, but long as you didn't eat something poisonous (even then, how does that shake out?), you might just find yourself having to accept what is. A spider is dissolving in your body, and that's that. 

Not all days are created equal; some possess much more nightmarish moments than others. For instance, this particular predicament involving a mortified concierge at the Chateau Marmonte having to deal with a Huntsman spider. 

Tumblr can get, shall we say, overly specific. The nature of the site, and the people on it, can lead to some deep rabbit holes, like this tumblr users getting schooled on physics and car safety, or really specific and fun history. Anyway, this cranberry bog discussion led to a story about the not-so-obvious spider consequences of working in a flooded bog full of swimming spiders.

This employee has a soft spot in their heart for spiders. When it got tense in the office with another co-worker over their refusal to kill the spider, they stood their ground, and successfully defended the life of the creepy crawler. Sounds like the co-worker is about ready to quit after this. 

Australia is a land of beauty, wonder, bird eating spiders, venomous snakes, hundred pound lizards, and straight up balls of scary looking goo that's ready to kill you at any gleeful opportunity. There are a lot of things to avoid in Australia, and it's a running gag on the internet of how dangerously nope-tastic the whole continent can be.

Remember everyone, sleeping is the time when you're most vulnerable, and literally anything can happen. Not much makes a scary situation scarier than when you're jolted into reality with zero context. It's kind of impossible to prevent stuff like this happening while you're asleep, so just...try not to sleep I guess?

This rattled guy's story about the bathroom break from hell itself, is made worse by the ensuing dialogue about his bathroom exploits to the rest of his office. His boss sounds like quite the chatterbox. Seems like he learned two lessons: double check those toilets for giant spiders, and keep your private information to yourself, unless you want the rest of the office to know about it. This is a serious TIFU story and I'm pretty sure I'd be traumatized from this. Poor guy. 

Don't look a gift turtle in the mouth. Specifically a leatherneck turtle. Here's a collection of images from history and today of seriously unsettling realities. You wouldn't like to think that centipedes could get that big, but they do. NOPE.

We hope you can live with the knowledge that you're not munching on spiders for midnight snacks. It's a brave new world. 

Hopefully you'll get through the day without hundreds of tons of salt enveloping your car. So if you're like most people, your chances of that not happening are pretty good.

For all the times you've said "sure, it might look delicious now, but it's actually a piece of a shoe." Check out r/ForbiddenSnacks for more of these "treats."