spiders

You have two options: Return your Mazda to a local dealer for repairs, or BURN IT TO THE GROUND IMMEDIATELY AND SAVE THE HUMAN RACE.

Four hundred and twenty-five million years ago, a strange creature shaped like a Christmas tree roamed the Earth – which makes it surprisingly young.

This 2-centimetre-long fossil arthropod, named Enalikter aphson, was found in rocks in Herefordshire, UK. It is the most recent addition to the megacheira, an extinct group of marine arthropods – and finding it in the 425-million-year-old rocks could indicate that megacheirans were distant ancestors of all arthropods alive today, including lobsters and spiders.

When Paglo Barroeta poked a fuzzy clump of unknown weirdness, he ended up awakening a nightmarish explosion of angry daddy longlegs.

Also, I haven't stopped looking up at the ceiling in over an hour.