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Parent shares hilarious Twitter thread about the ridiculous things their kid says before bedtime | Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Night 3 Boy: Okay mom. Goodnight. Mom, why do have so much hair? Okay, night. Why is hair made cylinders? MOM want learn cord-on cordial? ACCORDION GOES LIKE THIS [frantically mimes accordion playing] MOM COME BACK ACCORDIONS ARE MADE BEES

Twitter Thread: Pressing Questions From A Six-Year-Old At Bedtime

Completely absurd.
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Mom orders flowers from a small business, and they go above and beyond with the gesture of kindness | Maureen Johnson O @maureenjohnson My mother just called She had ordered some flowers small local store be delivered and dropped on porch they brought flowers, they said Hang on have something driver went back truck and proceeded bring out 11:39 AM 2020-04-29 Twitter Web Client

Twitter Thread: Mom Orders Flowers, Business Goes Above And Beyond

A nice reminder that humans can be awesome.
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Grandpa forgets to pay for a TV, and Tesco responds on Twitter | Tesco TESCO @Tesco Replying nikoowembleyway Hi Nico, thanks getting touch thank grandad his honesty. If he returns store explains mistake staff will understand. If like can let them know before he gets there? Car ask him store he will be able return? TY-Missy

Grandpa Forgets To Pay For TV, Tesco Responds, Faith In Humanity Restored

Grandpa's a sly dog.
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Twitter thread imagines how different Star Wars characters drink their coffee | Star Wars Characters and they make their coffee thread Obi Wan makes French press coffee and gently uses just weight his hand lower filter, so sediment isn't overly disturbed and acidity is controlled. | BB8 just cuts chase Sundown Naturals PURE Caffeine 200 MG Sustained Reless Energy Support Mental Focus" 8 Hour T00 MEADLET CAPSULES DIETARY R 10:24 4/28/20 Twitter iPhone

Twitter Thread: Star Wars Characters And How They Drink Their Coffee

Yay, fun Star Wars post.
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A collection of times that liars got called out for telling lies online | 4 months ago Burritos reminded Taco bell USA. Completely plastered sauce. Self service, or no service. Ridiculous high price cafeteria food. Beer best. Their own Mikeller can beer. Therefore 1 star. Otherwise no stars them. O Like Share Response owner 4 months ago cannot take this review seriously, since do not serve Burritos.

Laughable Liars That Got Outed Online

They need to drop the act.
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People pretend to be ants in a hilarious Facebook group | shared her first post. New Member Guyz just found this on ground while doing my daily duties Help LIFT so can take QUEEN | lift lift lift lick lift

Hilarious Facebook Group Pretends To Be Ants

This is most excellent.
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A collection of creative insults that did it differently | Ratatouille Replies Tim Kunken:1 week ago 0:37 Are just gonna forget this scene? Rats are unable gag or throw up, so this dude's soup is so bad broke rules nature | cool beans 4 days ago His friend looks like mannequin with head on backwards 431 VIEW 6 REPLIES THEE

Ingenious Insults Full Of Meanness

Rare insults just do it different.
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Guy shares tons of facts that were left out of Tiger King show, in Twitter thread | Thread Robert Moor @robertmoor_ anyone currently bingeing #tigerking on Netflix spent four years working on podcast and long magazine story about Joe and Carole spent week living at zoo spoken with almost everyone seeing doc, and attended trial. Ask anything! 1:23 PM 3/21/20 Twitter Web App 3,728 Retweets 13.4K Likes

Twitter Thread: Wild Facts Left Out Of Tiger King

The list of irredeemable characters goes on.
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Twitter users describe time that customers were completely wrong | @t8ne Replying WelshDalaiLama Customer stormed up after standing by doors garden centre been pressing service button 15 minutes and been ignoring Service button Yes, there Ah s button open doors were standing next can help?

Customers That Were Spectacularly Wrong

Some customers turn their brains off.
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Twitter users describe various, polite ways to say "f you" to someone | BrooklynDad_Defiant mmpadellan #PoliteWaysToSayFU wish luck, with capital 'F'.

Twitter Users Share Polite Ways To Say, F You

There are polite ways to get it done.
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Quick Twitter thread about a message in a bottle turning up nine years later | māx @VredenburghMax On August 21, 2010 threw message bottle into ocean beach Rockport, MA. On October 10, 2019 letter found on beach France am mind blown. 9 years.

Twitter Thread: Message In A Bottle Turns Up 9 Years Later

Bit different than a text message.
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A USPS worker shares his thoughts on privatizing the postal service | Dingus J McGee, ESQ lildipshit3 Okay, l've been with USPS several years now, so here's my big dumb #SaveThePostOffice thread don't know many tweets 's gonna take ramble through my thoughts, so stick with Or don't, whatever. 18:37 4/10/20 Twitter Web App 13.5K Retweets 27K Likes Dingus J McGee, ESQ lildipsh 1d v Replying lildipshit3 First things first not taxpayer funded. At all. Sure get government monopolies on certain things

Twitter Thread: USPS Worker's Thoughts On Saving Post Office

They lay out the facts.
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Twitter thread presents Jeff Goldblum as different kinds of Pop-Tarts | Rachel Clayton @rachelclayday humbly presented: jeff goldblum as poptarts thread) Pop. tarts Chocolate Fudge PEN1 PASIY toaster pastries Frosted

Twitter Thread: Jeff Goldblum As Pop-Tarts

Splendid.
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Toddler leaves unwanted graffiti on car | Cheers and Jeers Conversation Starter 2 hrs Cheers lovely artwork left on my car by cute little toddler next door. As much as l'd love keep think would have been better have drawn picture using markers and paper and would have proudly hung on my refrigerator. Unfortunately gonna have buff out her masterpiece, so cheers detailer who can buff out scratches and leave my car looking good as new! Write comment GIF

Toddler Leaves Unwanted Artwork On Car, Detailer Restores Faith In Humanity

Love it when humanity shines.
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People on Twitter describe ways to ruin relationships | Girl @whoulooknat #HowToRuinARelationship so said him "fantasy football is fake" and never saw him again

Twitter Users Share Ways To Ruin Relationships

Steer clear of these.
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Declassified CIA documents appear to show Soviet paranormal experimentation | Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk NatSecGeek NEW took four years but just got some newly declassified CIIA reports studying Soviet Union's use black magic telepathic mind control and "psychotronic generators devices they said turned people into psychics and let them move objects with their minds FOIA

Twitter Thread: Declassified CIA Documents Go Full "Stranger Things"

Now that's a trip.
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