satan

Satan, not to be mistaken with the lovely fabric. The big guy downstairs used to scare people to walk the straight and narrow for nearly 2000 years. It's about time you find a reason to laugh at him, even just a bit. What do you have to fear, Purgatory? Possibly.

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He may be the embodiment of pure evil, but I'll be damned if he isn't a giving lover.

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You know... lighting up with Lucifer! Blazing with Beelzebub!

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SORRY MA, I CAN'T GO TO CHURCH TODAY TOO BUSY SLAYING THE CAT FOR THE GLORY OF TOM DELONGE

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If you are currently able to do this, then Satan may have some pawning options available for you.

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Welcome to the future of marriage! THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN.

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Insert joke here about Nickelback not being very good.

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He's not at his angsty, rebellious, post-pubescent phase yet, but we can't wait until it gets here.