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Twitter Thread: Steak-Umm's Valentine's Date Fever Dream

Steak-Umm strikes gold on Twitter again. This time, it's a feverish thread about a Valentine's Day date that takes an unexpected turn down mints-falling-from-the-ceiling-lane. Yes, that happens at one point. If you don't want to engage your imagination and enjoy some vivid imagery from the wild world of Steak-Umm, then keep browsing the web as you were. 

BUT, if you want to get momentarily lost in an unpredictable, blessed, Twitter thread that doesn't make any sense but also makes total sense, then read this shit from Steak-Umm. It is a trip. 

Steak-Umm shares a Twitter thread about Valentine's Day that reads like a fever dream | tweet by Steak Steak-umm -umm @steak_umm picture this on first date. they ask if like twitter face immediately lights up. they smile and ask favorite account is. without hesitation word "steak-umm" leaves lips. steak-umm? they ask, confused reach water but 's empty
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Woman's Fiancé Gets Her Peloton Bike For Birthday, Fight Ensues

At the very least we're dealing with a situation of clear miscommunication, or refusal from this guy to listen to his fiancé. It sounds like she couldn't have been more clear about not wanting a Peloton bike for her birthday. But alas, there it was come the big day. The tense silence must've been overwhelmingly awkward. Maybe she'll capitalize on the misfortune, and decide to vlog some of it after all. 

Woman's fiancé gets her a Peloton bike after she asks for him to not get her one | AITA pissed got Peloton my birthday Throwaway account So realize already sound like brat. This is most expensive present have ever received my life and enjoy spin classes, but back story is is important here.
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Guy Leaves Girlfriend At Airport Cause Her Passport's Expired

It sounds like this young woman has a whole lot of growing up to do. This guy asked the people of Reddit whether or not he was in the wrong for leaving his girlfriend at the airport, after realizing her passport was expired. The context is everything here though. At the end of the day, things probably aren't going to work out if your partner refuses to stop acting like a child when it comes to taking responsibility for simple life tasks. 

Guy asks people on Reddit whether it was wrong for him to leave his immature girlfriend at the airport | Enter my gf 2 years she's uni grad with good job, but still lives at home with her parents. As clued on as she is about her professional field not exagerrating say she doesn't even know basic shit like post fucking letter. Whenever she's asked help with something she really is asking is someone take responsibility task couple examples last few months:
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Choosing Beggar Wants Friend's Car For Date, Gets Rejected, Questions Friendship

Ah, the good old choosing beggar strikes again with another ridiculous case of entitlement. This guy's biggest mistake was assuming that the car was going to be the dealbreaker when it came to getting lucky on his date. Naturally, that kind of twisted thinking resulted in one ridiculous and avoidable angry back-and-forth between friends, regarding being able to borrow a car. Hopefully they're able to salvage their friendship. 

Guy's buddy wants his car for a date, and they end up arguing about it | Hey bro, is cool if still borrow whip tonight? Yeah man just bring back by 10 time swinging thru
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Times Married People Misread Their Partners' Phones For Cheating

Someone on AskReddit asked for married couples to share the times a partner was caught in the crosshairs over a false red flag that looked like cheating. A whole lot of chaos can result from leaping to assumptions. For these people, it sounds like everything was a-okay, after all. 

Married people on AskReddit share times that they thought they misread their partners' phones | davidjricardo My wife found contact my phone Ashley Maddison" literally week after hacking scandal. She's wife new assistant pastor at our church my wife hadn't met yet texting her because going meet moving truck at their house them they moved .
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First Date Deal Breakers People Have

Everyone has their limits when it comes to the kinds of sh*t they'll put up with from someone else. Factor in the tender ground of a first date, and you have an environment where deal breakers can come out of left field at a moment's notice. Many of these might ring a bell from that one date that you'd just as much forget about ever happening. 

AskReddit users reveal their first date dealbreakers | celestialism 3h Asking zero questions about myself while talking incessantly about themselves s alarming many dudes do this. Why bother going on date with another human if all want is hear yourself talk?!
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Divorce Attorneys Reveal Stupidest Reasons Couples Wanted To Divorce

Never underestimate the heights of pettiness that can be achieved between two people going through a divorce. These AskReddit replies in a thread about the stupidest reasons people wanted to divorce, might convince you to never want to get married. 

AskReddit replies to divorce attorneys sharing the stupidest reasons that couples wanted to divorce | posted by Charger525 not divorce attorney, but my former subordinate got divorced over Pokémon cards. At one point during separation she came work accuse him stealing some her rares got near physical and had have security forces remove spouse so could get back work. They were hot mess.
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Man Lies To Wife About Terrible Cooking, It Backfires Terribly

This caring husband learned a tough lesson in the value of telling the truth, when it comes to your partner's cooking. In his case, it sounds like he was really trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately, his pursuit toward doing the right thing resulted in a dinner party dealing with a gnarly case of food-related illness. Sounds like they'll get over it after the wife calms down. 

Guy lies to his wife about her terrible cooking, and it ends up backfiring in a terrible way with people getting sick over her recipe | post by Microdoted TIFU by trying spare my wife, and saying her cooking great. happened yesterday fallout happened about an hour ago
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Sister Hijacks Woman's Wedding, She Wonders If She Can Still Cancel

It's crazy that someone can find themselves in the position of paying for their sister to take their wedding, but it does not seem fun. Weddings are the source of family drama, backstabbing, and in some cases, entitled bridezillas cancelling the wedding and keeping 30k in gifts.

Woman wants to cancel her wedding that her sister took over | Posted by aitasisterwedding WIBTA cancelling my sister's wedding because my wedding first? meant get married on 1st February, which mine and my ex-fiance's anniversary ended engagement shortly after new year because he cheated on wedding initially planned with just my money but very low key
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Woman Cuts Up Wedding Dress After Being Cheated On, Sister Complains

This woman asked the people of Reddit whether or not she was in the wrong for cutting up and altering her wedding dress, after discovering that her fiancee cheated on her with a stripper. Apparently the sister was upset because she was banking on being able to use it. Honestly, shouldn't it be the (ex) bride's decision on what happens to the dress? 

Woman cuts up and alters her wedding dress after being cheated on, and her sister proceeds to complain about it | AITA cutting up and altering my wedding dress into functional dress instead giving my sister who can't afford an expensive dress need an unbiased opinion on this because don't know if asshole
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Twitter Thread On People's Weirdest Dates

Twitter user @LauraKlein113 started up a viral Twitter thread on people's weirdest first date experiences. The reality is that in an era filled with numerous dating apps, that people are going to land themselves in some pretty strange dates. I mean, you never know what kind of crazy might lurk behind that next right swipe on Tinder. If you're on the hunt or some funny moments that very well could've led to unimaginably weird dates, from the wild world of Tinder, we recommend checking these out.

A funny Twitter thread on the weirdest dates that people have ever been on | desktwink Replying postgrad_barty Tinder girl invited mcdonalds and spent entire 45 minutes convincing they were known their chicken rather than their burgers then she showed dent on her car and like Do want hug and said no and she hugged anyway
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Bridezilla Tells Newly Engaged Woman She Can't Wear Ring

This bridezilla is about as petty as it gets! She was so desperate to direct all the attention her way that she ended up being her own worst enemy. Gotta love it when a crappy plan absolutely backfires. 

Angry bride tells a newly engaged woman that she can't wear ring | r/weddingshaming posted by TrinityBlack13 So can't wear my engagement ring or talk about my engagement fine. Bridezilla So I going my fiancé's cousins wedding on weekend
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Guy Goes To Sleep, Girlfriend Has Meltdown

Yikes everywhere. This guy was just trying to catch some zzz's when the next thing he knew he woke up to a complete meltdown from his girlfriend. She calls him a hurtful liar and proceeds to inform him that he's blocked on everything. Um. The dude was just trying to sleep. Sounds like he really dodged a bullet on this one, and the sooner that relationship is a thing of a past, the better!

Guy goes to sleep and his girlfriend proceeds to have a complete meltdown | r/relationship_advice posted by ThrowRaRedditor My 20F girlfriend blocked 20M on everything because said going sleep early
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Tinder Jokes, Fails, And Wins From The Dystopian Dating World

Well isn't Tinder a wonderful and twisted social experiment. It's a dating app that simply brings together all kinds of people that never would've struck up a conversation in the first place. Enjoy this fresh round of hopeless romantics trying out the very best and worst of their cheesy pickup lines. 

A collection of fails, wins, and pickup lines from various people on Tinder | tweet by Yoni Gootgarts OfficialYoniG Today sat next girl on bus and watched her swipe left on on tinder
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Soldier On Tinder Finds "Love" He Was Looking For

This soldier was on the hunt for some love before they get deployed. It seems like this particular match hit it off. Things went so well that they even exchanged Snapchats. Isn't that the modern day equivalent of getting down on bended knee? 

A funny Tinder conversation | Can solve Rubix cube under 12 seconds? Try 9 seconds Personal record Psh Try not solving at all
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