pants

Wouldn't be surprised if I were stranded in the desert and one of these showed up. The desert is littered with the skulls of cattle who have died of dehydration. And with tanned people. Everyone's tanned in the desert.

It's important to have stripes that highlight all the right areas, like the side of your thighs.

At least he remembered the important stuff.

And then we'll get suspenders for the saggy underwear, and the world will go on and on and spin in its crazy beautiful way.

I mean, in the grand scheme of things how does "nearly-pantsless" compare to "drugged out and licking the windows"? You could do worse.