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Via pfergy1
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There's nothing like being out and about, taking a sweet inhale, and then realizing that you've unfortunately swallowed a big ole bug. At least this news reporter maintained a sense of humor about the whole situation. He was also clearly ready to go after the event presented itself. 

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News Cameraman Gets Food Poisoning at Old Folks Home, Films More Than He Bargained For

We've all had brutal work days, but based on this guy's performance, it sounds like he deserves an Emmy. It's weird when you can put together the puzzle pieces of your own misery as it happens in real time. Absurdly bad things happen and man, we just gotta live with our mistakes. Here's a guy who didn't know he had been living with athletes foot for years.

cameraman gets food poisoning at old folks home and ends up filming self
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In what looks like a criminal failure of public health, this reporter in Texas explains the danger of fecal coliforms the body of water behind him. The only issue being, there's a (hopefully metaphorical) buttload of people just chilling in that water. Is anyone gonna put up a sign or something?

Via RomainBou
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Maybe the news anchor was just a highly trained martial artist in disguise himself. Alright, but in all seriousness the cringe couldn't have been more potent in this moment. Hopefully this "martial artist" learned his lesson and puts all the deceptive antics to rest. 

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Subway Under Fire For Iffy Tuna Sandwiches

Buckle up, because this could be experienced as a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for the hardcore Subway fans out there. Or maybe, as a ride or die Subway aficionado, you've long since come to terms with Subway's decorated past. And not the good kind of decorated past. In this case though, we're dealing with something particularly fishy. Yep, it's the tuna. Or rather, we wouldn't be right if we were to call it tuna. 

Apparently, a study conducted by journalist, Julia Carmel, at the New York Times ended up revealing that of the 60 inches worth of Subway tuna sandwiches that were collected, and then shipped off to a lab, no "amplifiable" tuna DNA was obtained. So, basically what is actually in those tuna sandwiches? Of course, Subway shrugged off all that investigative business and insisted that they're actually serving tuna sandwiches. 

There is a potential counterargument to be made that the NYT only tested 5 of the 15 species of nomadic saltwater fish. So, they might've missed something. Also, apparently the cooking process could be impacting the legitimacy of being able to obtain accurate results for when the Subway tuna is tested for tuna DNA. Even then though. Come on, Subway. While we're at it, it also turns out that Subway's flour recipe contains 10% sugar. If it seemed like their bread was uncharacteristically sweet, now you know why. 

An interesting story about how Subway's tuna isn't actually tuna.
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As if we needed another reason to hail our cat overlords. This cat is clearly a mad lad. A mad lad who can't be bothered to take the time to regard the rules that the rest of society is forced to operate by. 

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Even technology is prone to moments of failure. In this case, sit back and watch a meteorologist try to make the best out of being cloned during a live broadcast. Guess you've just got to roll with it sometimes. 

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Sorely Mistaken People Not Getting Satire

Even though satirical news has been around for decades, people still have a really hard time parsing out fact from fiction. Sometimes they'll write-off a absurdly funny headline as fake news. Other times they'll react with appropriate shock after reading a "report" that the gates of hell have been opened. It's funny, but also kinda really disappointing when sadly mistaken people don't understand satire.

People who mistakenly believed satirical news | THEHARDTIMES.NE Friends Tearfully Loot Gamer's Corpse at Funeral Pay Respects Nobody should be touching deceased persons belongings other than next kin is HUGE disrespect family. Doesnt matter sign respect supposedly shows s not spectators decide or do. this is satire article lol
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Julia Morris is the co-host of the widely enjoyed Australian television program, "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here." It's glaringly obvious that she's having a whole lot of fun at work. 

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Honestly, we're just glad that the doggo homie is alright. This hilarious story centers on a dog who loyally, foolishly decided to mimic their owner who had injured his leg. Suffice to say, some massive and completely unnecessary vet fees ended up being the result. 

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We have no idea what kind of hurricane of pure chaotic nonsense was rushing through this man's brain as he went about giving an "interview." Let's just say that this video will test people's tolerance for cringe like never before. 

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Sadly Mistaken People Who Didn't Understand Satire

People have a really hard time deciphering what is real news and what is obviously a joke. Who knew the unintended consequence of satirical news would be your grandma thinking the rapture happened. Whether it's a state of uncanny gullibility or just poor reading comprehension, a lot of mistaken people do not understand satire.

Mistaken people who took satirical joke news seriously | tweet by TheOnion Biologists Still No Closer Discovering Birds Have Sex If thats true just shows even though folks think are real advanced and good with computers nature still will always be more complicated and not then our technolgy
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Sometimes the best way to fight ignorance is with a hearty heaping of pure and unadulterated sarcasm. This weatherman clearly hit his breaking point, and decided to let the people have it. 

Via ABC News
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Oh good old Florida, you are ever full of surprises. In this case, we have a poor woman who was awoken by a raccoon straight up posted up in her Christmas tree. Like, are you kidding me? So many questions. We're just glad it all worked out, and that she was able to safely remove the raccoon from the premises. 

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It seems like the Dalai Lama was ready to unleash some belly laughter regardless of what joke came out of that eager news anchor's mouth.