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Via Going4One
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The news reporter really took that condescending BS to a whole new level. 

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Absurd Individuals Who Didn't Get Satire

By now, people should be aware of things like satirical news websites, but for some reason, we still get sadly mistaken people who didn't understand satire. Whether it's because they didn't read the source, got so angry they wanted to believe a joke headline, or are just plain dumb, people will believe the dumbest headlines. These sites have been around for years and mistaken people still don't get satire.

People who didn't understand joke headlines and satirical news | History Metallica FLIGHT 1 S COLLEGE THEHARDTIMES.NET Metallica Sues 8th Grader Over Hand-Drawn Logo on Notebook O Like Comment Share Wow they should be proud an 8th grader liked their music not sue kid. 15m Like Reply
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Via 9gagshqip
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Seems like he might've practiced saying his name in front of the mirror, many a time. 

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There comes a moment in one's life, when it is their time to shine. This groundhog is shining like a bright star in a dark night sky. Look at that pizza eating technique. The magical carelessness about the whole getup. It's something else. Truly. Philadelphia is lucky. 

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Twitter Thread: Declassified CIA Documents Go Full "Stranger Things"

Stranger Things just went real life. Apparently that character Eleven, off the show "Stranger Things", isn't so far off the reality that these declassified CIA documents illustrate. And that would be a very strange reality, indeed. A reality where people can move things across the room using their mind, as long as they're in possession of a special instrument. Trippy. It's like a remote changing the TV, but you can treat the room around you like it's your living TV, or something. 

Declassified CIA documents appear to show Soviet paranormal experimentation | Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk NatSecGeek NEW took four years but just got some newly declassified CIIA reports studying Soviet Union's use black magic telepathic mind control and "psychotronic generators devices they said turned people into psychics and let them move objects with their minds FOIA
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Twitter Thread: Man Documents Invasion Of Goat Overlords

Andrew Stuart's viral Twitter thread on his town getting invaded by an army of goat overlords is just our kind of entertainment. The confusion, the excitement, the general absurdity of the fact that the goats don't appear to give a flying frick about anything, makes this a true gem of a story.

Guy's Twitter thread is about goats taking over a town | Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart 6d v think just got group goats Llandudno arrested. Let explain first saw this inside dark pub one live currently thought seeing things. So took some video:
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Husband And Wife Survive Lockdown By Slaying Lipsyncs

Comedians Rachel Parris and Marcus Brigstocke, have found a way to keep themselves entertained while keeping the rest of us entertained. Yes, these lip sync performances are magical. Can't wait to see what they come up with next. So far, so good. 

Husband and wife make the most out of lockdown by slaying lipsync performances | Marc 0000 s! @marcusbrig We're okay. We're fine. This is going okay. @rachelparris and I passing the time... ITI
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Mysterious, Squirming Black Substance Sends Twitter Into Tailspin

So, this unsettling video of a mysterious substance that bears a striking resemblance to that alien goo called Venom, surfaced. People on Twitter were sent into a panic-fueled spiral. Everyone was rushing to figure out what this could be. Some folks kept the jokes rolling, and ultimately it looks like it could be something called the Bootlace Worm. At least that was one answer provided. We're not sure though. 

A viral video of a mysterious, squirming black substance sends people on Twitter into a panic | Angie @AngelicBarton3 Replying sunnyarkade Leviathan black blob goo that moves by itself
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Sadly Mistaken People Who Didn't Get Satire

Most of us understand a tongue-in-cheek reference from a well known satirical news network, but sadly, there are those among us who just don't get the joke, or worse, believe the absurdity and pass it off as actual news. It's sadly too common to see a sorely mistaken person not get satire, like an aunt who actually believes scientists have made a voice activated grapefruit.

Mistaken people who didn't understand joke news | Hard Drive O @HardDriveMag 19h Heartwarming: Pregnant Woman Gives Up Subway Seat Gamer Playing Switch O Donot lean on door D Donot leaon doo Heartwarming: Pregnant Woman Gives Up Subway Seat Gamer Playing Switch thehardtimes.net 57 t1,442 O 8,768 Replying HardDriveMag Shouldn't gamer have given up their seat pregnant woman? This isn't really heartwarming
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Herd Of Bison Crash Reporter's News Segment

This reporter went viral over his reaction to seeing a herd of bison show up. Apparently, they have quite the established reputation for being grumpy folk. So, the reporter's move to flee the scene and not waste any time doing so, could've saved him from a whole lot of harm!

A reporter dips out when a herd of bison show up during a broadcast | Jo @JoJoFromJerz Replying DeionNBCMT @gtconway3d and @YellowstoneNPS more times watch this harder laugh | news reporter looking off camera to the side in disbelief
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Life Pro Tips To Ace Your Existence

In these strange and troubling times, as the world navigates a rapidly changing reality due to the Coronavirus, it is helpful to have some life pro tips from folks who have experienced isolation, and done so successfully. Outside of those relevant and helpful pointers on keeping sane during insane times, there are some other tips to support one's ability to get with the wild flow of life. Good old life pro tips.

A collection of life pro tips that are helpful for people navigating the world | LPT Advice on managing extended periods away World Learning submariner 6 years with multiple deployments 6 months and other extended underways multiple months with short -port stints between time had develop coping strategies dealing with isolation and loss social contact with outside World. Here's learned: 1. Hold fast whatever is waiting on other side doesn't matter feels foolish, or whether there is certainty hap
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Chris shares some helpful advice on how best to navigate the time of self-isolation amidst the Coronavirus

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Tumblr User Shares Advice To Squash Laundry Industry

This angry Tumblr user shared some helpful advice on how to challenge the laundry industry itself, after seeing yet another article targeting millennials for being clueless. It might actually end up inspiring people to make their own laundry supplies. 

Tumblr post on how to not have to buy laundry detergent | Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped bottom barrel so hard they are now two feet down into topsoil tramampoline its so wild like this generation with no fucking money is learning prioritize essentials and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements these companies
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