funny tweets

When it comes to this here tag of Funny Tweets, it consists of any attempt on Twitter at comedy, without the necessary qualifier of succeeding. We also keep a list of top funny tweets that might be more along the lines of what you're looking for if you want actual funny tweets.

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Wrong But Delightful Alternate Names Kids Have For Stuff

Let's get it out of the way right now, kids are dumb as rocks and weird as heck. But that doesn't mean that they can't make decent or at least amusing contributions to the world of linguistic foibles. It means they're pretty great at saying things wrong all the time. The fact that kids are dumb, strange people means that they're an excellent resource for "the wrong thing to say."

funny words kis have for stuff
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Funny Tweets To Build Character And Cultivate Strength

Can other people's anecdotes and tweets motivate us to become better people? The answer is a resounding "maybe, but probably not." That said, there are many funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later that could definitely make you a hit at a party for about 45 seconds. Sure it's 45 seconds, but what a wonderful 45 seconds. So there's that. And also sick Tweets from the Twitterverse.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter
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Funny Tweets To Mercifully Lift The Unamused Out Of Boredom

Like anyone else, if you sit with your own thoughts for more than 5 minutes, you tend to get scared and upset. With that, we've decided that a constant flow of funny tweets to build character and cultivate strength are a good way to avoid our own horrible thoughts. Seriously our internal monologues sound like a barn fire. Anyway, here are some funny tweets to quote at parties in lieu of having a personality.

funny jokes from twitter
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Funny Tweets To Quote At Parties In Lieu Of Having A Personality

Hey, not all of us have the patience to read books or take salsa lessons, so it comes to this. There's nothing quite like being at a party going "that reminds me of a funny tweet I saw" and then totally butchering the idea so it's not funny anymore. You've accidentally missed the point and made it too dirty. Then the one person you kind of know goes "mhm yeah totally." That's what we call a social win. Here's more funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later and some extra tweets to build character and cultivate strength.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter
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People's Favorite Bits To Annoy Their Spouse

Just about every relationship is built on a strong foundation of the annoying things people's spouses do. Sometimes that's their inability to wrap extension cords correctly, and other times it's their insistence on introducing their current wife as "my ex girlfriend." We all have our jokes. Is love just the capacity to tolerate your partner's stupid bits? Seems like that's part of it.

funny stupid jokes people do to annoy their partner
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Tumblr Gems And Sweet Tweets To Battle Boredom

The internet can bring many things. Some of those things are cold facts and bad news. But the rest is a pile of weird observations, dumb stories, tumblr gems and funny tweets. Do we need a worldwide network of people sharing their intimate moments and weird nuggets of knowledge? Probably not but it's here now in the form of tumblr gems and tweets and boy is it going strong.

funny tweets and gems from tumblr
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Exciting New Sentences That Went Long Unuttered

Human beings are nothing if not creative, and we have an eye for the particular. Thanks to the fluid, ever-evolving nature of language, and the systems of meaning pre-built into context, our brains are able to word better than words can even word themselves. And because of that, sometimes a patch of words hits you in just the right way, like a spicy rare insult  or a funny tweet or tumblr gem where you go "alright I bet no one ever said that before."

funny new and extremely specific sentences
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Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Cackle At

In the marketplace of ideas, nothing moves quite like the devilishly tasty goods of tumblr gems and funny tweets to haughtily guffaw at. Are these observations, stories and weird instances in any way insightful? Who knows. But damn if they're not compelling. Funny tweets and tumblr gems provide that strength against boredom that we all need.

funny jokes from twitter and tumblr
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems to Sift Through and Chortle

The internet is an ocean of information, permeated by the odd lobster of absurdity. People are thinking about dumb junk all the time, and they expel that junk as funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later. There's never been a time with more free-floating observations. One might learn something, but probably not. At least funny tweets and tumblr gems grant strength against boredom.

funny jokes and observations from twitter
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems for Strength Against Boredom

A nice juicy funny tweet or tumblr gem is something you can quote later to your friends. The internet is a nexus of extremely specific and stupid ideas that get stuck into people's mind-brains and get bounced around like marbles in a paint-shaker, so it's only natural that there are optimal funny tweets to remember later and chuckle quietly.

funny tweets and moments from tumblr
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Mad Lads Who Blazed Their Own Trail

Life has all this boring convention and expectation to it. That's why mad lads who play by their own rules can be such a refreshing change. The mad lads of the world are out doing shenanigans, subverting the world's expectations, and going the extra mile for their own ridiculous ends. It's all about those mad lads who play the game their way.

funny mad lad memes of people doing pranks, shenanigans and absurd things. | My brothers ex had been stealing our Netflix past two months now by disguising her account as "settings" and honestly ain't even mad just really disappointed myself actually believing an account named "settings" would legitimately be Netflix | Hi David wanted reach out following this morning's class really appreciated contributions our discussion, but felt should follow up with noticed during class appeared consume an
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Funny Tweets To Remember Later and Chuckle Quietly

Is there a word for "observation that seems poignant in the moment and then sort of gets instantly muddled into the background noise of your head, only to pop up at the most inappropriate moment?" If not, that's kind of what tweets are. That's not a bad thing, they're fun. Balls of wit make up some of the great funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later.

funny tweets and random thoughts and observations | Rads @FeelingEuphoric THERAPIST: listen really need relax banging fists on table BUT CAN BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR | Dan Sheehan ltsDanSheehan Being grandpa must be tough, some baby mispronounces word and suddenly name is Peepo last 30 years life
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Twitter Thread: The Wildly Creepy Junk Kids Say

There are many clear signs that kids are weird and stupid, but sometimes that weirdness manifests itself as intense creepiness. Being  impressionable and not really understanding the world too good, kids have extremely vivid imaginations and sometimes just say things. Things about faces in the walls and dead people watching them. The kind of things you really hope are untrue.

Tweets about kids saying very creepy things | elizabeth bruenig O @ebruenig am tucking my 4.5 y/o alright angel, sleep good, jane: did know our house there's secret door no jane can only see at night dark nope. not interested jane: and has big big big room inside am begging stop, | My daughter had an imaginary friend named Rusty. She stopped mentioning him and after while asked had become him? She told us she had rolled him up rug and shoved him down heaven hole. She pretty nonchalant about Neve
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Funny Tumblr Moments and Sweet Ripened Tweets

Put a massive group of literate people together and what do you get? A pristine futuristic world of understanding, compassion and justice? Hell naw, you get weird stories, stupid jokes, funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later. The internet is big enough for anyone digging through funny tumblr gems to find whatever their hearts desire.

funny jokes from twitter and tumblr | Dee @figgled 's kinda fucked musicians eat sandwiches by placing them inside trombones and honking them into each other's mouths 18/4/17, 12:32 pm skirtsuit-angel this is an example defamiliarization, where something totally normal, conventional, and ordinary like honkwiching is taken and described as something sounds weird and foreign Source: memewhoreMehGyver @AndrewNadeau0 | After leaving Willy Wonka's factory WIFE WIFE WIFE: Lot deaths LOT deaths tour!
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Tumblr Gems and Funny Tweets to Haughtily Guffaw At

Twitter and Tumblr are dripping with observations both creepily insightful and brain-chillingly stupid. Anything goes when you plug your brain into the internet and let the words fall wherever they land. It leads to some funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later in a conversation with your "peers."

funny tweets and jokes from tumblr and twitter | utopians Follow Throwback 2016 told my sister "they're making another planet earth" and she just like. raised an eyebrow and said this absolutely deadpan condescending tone "and where are they getting dirt and had specify meant planet earth nature documentary not celestial body
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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems To Quote Later

Here are some thoughts to read, internalize, forget where they came from, then quote to your friends as if you made them up and are "so totally random." You know, basic friendly conversation. For that matter, here are some more funny, random and shiny tumblr gems as well as some totally random funny tweets.

funny tweets and tumblr jokes | Cemeterry F @daemonic3 So date talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much wasn't good idea Yeah well, hindsight is 1 | nerdgul average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces pineapple chunks. Cans pineapple come variety sizes most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning single pineapple generally won't fill up single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple can somewhere someone else has can has rest same pineapple.
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