funny tweets

When it comes to this here tag of Funny Tweets, it consists of any attempt on Twitter at comedy, without the necessary qualifier of succeeding. We also keep a list of top funny tweets that might be more along the lines of what you're looking for if you want actual funny tweets.

Favorite

Funny, Sparkling Gems from Scottish Twitter

If there's one Twitter phenomenon we'd all wish to emulate, it'd be the hard hitting, patter-driven, jargon-slinging denizens of Scottish Twitter. Upon first viewing, some of the language doesn't seem all that decipherable. But then you start to get it, and after that you start to need it. Nothing but praise for these gems of Scottish Twitter.

funny Scottish twitter tweets | moth dad @innesmck fuckk whatever shite currency yous have got, new scottish notes have OTTERS on them Ten Pounds Royal Bank Srotland 10 Stering | Philip Larkin @philiplarkin Just spotted cat on someone's porch, miaowing be let Without thinking walked up door, rang bell, nodded cat and left only rounded corner realised done as heard owner shouting F K SARAH CAT JUST RANG DOORBELL
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Mad Lads Who Didn't Let The World Get In Their Way

Sure, the world might have its own expectations about what is proper conduct, but the mad lads of the world don't see it that way. Mad lads pave their own way through shenanigans, trickery and bold brashness of all kinds. They may have different ideas of what counts as out-of-bounds, but they're all maniacal mad lads who don't give a dang.

funny mad lads who broke small rules and did tricky shenanigans | rev. dylan @DylanRoss my 11 year ban yahoo chess expires today Rnnme Dlavare Nnline Fallure Connect EDIT have failed connect following reason have been barred logging into this room until Thu Dec 31 23:59:59 PST 2020. oms rom this lis OK Giraffe Field
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Funny Tweets about God Making Animals

The features and behaviors of different animals are so varied and weird and specific that it makes you wonder what kind of thinking would have went into them. A lot of these tweets about animal designs feel like a real "5 pm on a friday" kind of job. People put a lot of thought into how god would've made plants and animals.

Funny joke tweets about how god designed animals | tweet by tricycle_champ [god making bats] GOD: just like hairy black potato with wings ANGEL: um GOD: ANGEL: god? GOD: also sleeps upside down like an idiot
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Evidence that Kids Are Weird and Stupid People

Nobody needs a study to let them know that kids are weird and stupid. We remember our idiotic beliefs and misconceptions as kids that we honestly believed for way too long. Kids aren't just wrong a lot, they're also terrible at doing things. For all their mistakes and misdeeds, there are a lot of funny moments of kids being stupid and weird.

funny memes and stories of kids being stupid and weird | Told Abby this is where she can put her letters Santa. So she gathered her toy letters and put them Santa. fetters SANTA felld SA | Robert McNees @mcnees Recently told 8yo she should always replace toilet paper runs out. Just found this bathroom. 3:18 PM 11/29/20 Twitter iPhone 74 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 979 Likes
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Woman On Twitter Tells Hilarious Story Of Runaway Pomeranian

We need more stories of this troublemaking Pomeranian, stirring up all kinds of ruckus around the neighborhood. Twitter user @Cmpriest, tells a hilarious story of "Chunk" being a big old rascal. 

Woman tells hilarious story about a Pomeranian dog in funny Twitter thread | Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Things overheard whilst a zippy Pomeranian named "Chunk" escaped his yard and chased after me while I walked Greyson and Lucy this morning. A thread:
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Funny Tweets to Put Some Skip in That Step

In a way, Twitter is like wandering through a hurricane of people's fears, complaints, and quirky observations. Will it be a dissertation on how hard it is to be a mom or will it be a terrific caption for a new dead giant squid someone found? Who knows. This and more can be found in many sick tweets from the twitter-verse.

stupid and funny joke tweets | 17 Discount Emma Stone Retweeted jon drake @DrakeGatsby 000 's my Roomba's birthday so l'm bringing him beach and just gonna let him go crazy 9:01 AM Nov 15, 2020 Twitter iPhone
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Sick Tweets from the Twitter-verse

Scrolling through Twitter can feel a lot like whipping through the chaotic, disorganized thoughts of a raving madman. That said, quite a few of those thoughts are kind of awesome. Sometimes it's time to say "so long" to focus and embrace the chaos of funny tweets to give your day a boost.

funny and stupid tweets | abby abbyomalley_ babies will not eat vegetables but they will eat airplanes. whats up with 1:26 p.m 29 Oct. 20 Twitter iPhone
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Funny and Dumb Tweets to Smoosh Into That Day

Twitter is the place where a lot of people go to off-gas their dumbest ideas, making it the perfect receptacle for funny weirdness under 140 characters. So put on your pith helmet and lace up your meat-boots, cause there's a whole lot more sick tweets from the twitter-verse to sift through.

silly and funny joke tweets | pat tobin @tastefactory Oh man weather tomorrow is supposed be chef's hat all day Thursday Friday
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

A Humorously Mild Taste of LaCroix Tweets

Sparkling water is a decisive topic. Some appreciate a light alternative to juice and soda, and everyone else demands to know where the flavor is. It's hard for many of us to spend money on a product whose selling point is that there's almost nothing in it, and that generates some pretty hilarious complaints. For more twitter stuff, here are funny tweets to give that day a boost.

Funny tweets about LaCroix sparkling water | Mike Ingram @mikeingram00 guess question have people who love LaCroix is have tried any other beverages 13 Feb Mike Ingram @mikeingram00 LaCroix tastes like made by society which flavor is scarcest natural resource 2:03 PM Feb 14, 2018 8 8 See Mike Ingram's other Tweets
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Alton Brown Unleashes Weird Food-Themed Twitter Storm

It's a stressful time, and respected food celebrity Alton Brown took to Twitter to vent his frustrations in the form of all caps food nonsense and references to binge drinking. It's unclear if he's trying to parody contemporary food network shows or if he just got boozed up and started typing, but it's at least fun.

Alton Brown Nonsense Twitter Food Rant | Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown Turn off lights and run 23 Slim Jims through juicer | want go out right now and buy Fritos and cat food. | CANNED FRUIT SALAD AND CHEEZE WIZ WITH HERSHEY'S SYRUP AND GIN
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Twitter Thread: Mentally Dealing with 6 Months of Global Crisis

For a lot of people, daily life doesn't look like how it used to, and it won't go back to normal tomorrow or the next day. Aisha Ahmad explains that part of getting through it is having a strategy to deal with that 6 month wall and learning how to adapt to a somehow stagnating but also everchanging reality. If it's worth anything, here are some wholesome memes.

Twitter thread 6 month wall of pandemic | Dr Aisha Ahmad @ProfAishaAhmad 6 month mark any sustained crisis is always difficult have all adjusted this "new normal but might now feel like running out steam. Yet, at best are only 1/3 way through this marathon can keep going? THREAD /x
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Fresh Batch Of Totally Random, Funny Tweets

We could all use a break from the stress-inducing headlines that are seemingly in a competition to be the most unsettling. These funny tweets are totally random, but also hilarious, and just entertaining enough to distract you from the madness of this dystopian time for a little while. 

A collection of totally random and funny tweets | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Parents Tweeting the Weird Names Their Kids Call Things

Parents are fully aware that kids can be a real mixed bag. Sometimes kids are weird and dumb, and other times kids can be too smart for their own good. Here are tweets of parents who found their kids sayings for existing places and things that were either wildly inaccurate or strangely too accurate.

Tweets from parents about the strange and funny names their kids have for things | Broken Puppet @java_assassin My daughter just called cemetery person garden not even sure she thinks is happening there. 1:52 PM Jun 18, 2020 3K 663 people are Tweetin
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Awkward Moments Caught on Tweet

Sometimes we're not so good at making our intentions clear. Awkward moments happen, but that doesn't make it much easier to forgive ourselves for walking into a Subway and confidently asking for a Meatlab FruitLoop. For some more funny stuff, here are funny tweets to give tat day a boost.

awkwar stories and funny moments tweets | Calen @calen I am at food truck and this guy walks up and says have my usual and guy working says don't know who hell are.
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

A Bushel of Funny Tweets to Savor

When it's not actively imploding all over itself, Twitter births some wildly creative, extremely dumb, and supremely clever jokes. Sometimes you need ridiculous musings in the form of tweets to give that day a boost. Are they often stupid? Yeah. Are they basically funny? Definitely. Heap some funny tweets onto that day.

funny tweets and jokes from twitter | Paul @bingowings 14 Fingers crossed 's hummus Hidden dip road sign
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Funny Tweets to Give that Day a Boost

Twitter can be a war zone of horrible takes and unsubstantiated arguments about things no one really cares about, but it's also cut with sweet, delectable jokes. For more odds and ends, here are some more funny tweets that hit the spot and some random funny Tumblr nuggets.

Funny twitter jokes | leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left grocery store without buying bag spring mix throw, unopened, into garbage two weeks
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -