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People's Weirdest Family Traits

There are a few ways to interpret the intriguing genetic diversity of human beings. One way is to look in awe at the limitless possibilities of our own twisting evolutionary path. The other way is to look in shame at our own genetic dead-end bodies, every day becoming more self-conscious about our weird nostrils and non-matching feet. But in the end, genetic variation is a good thing for survival and who knows, maybe the next great step in human evolution will be having a slightly longer big toe that helps us run away from the murder-bots or something. At least we can look at our grandparents for comparison like this tumblr user looks at their ageless matriarch.

weird family traits
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Tumblr Thread: The Ageless Matriarch That is Mamaw

Some family members take on mythical status, be it from their longevity or antics. In some cases it's both. But really if someone is around for long enough they usually have a wealth of interesting qualities to reflect on. For example, this huge list of all the animals one tumblr user's grandpa brought home or this grandpa who hate banana bread he hated for years out of love.

funny tumblr story about mamaw
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New Employee Uses Apple Computer As Door Jam, Computer Turns Into Applesauce

Starting up with a new job is a disorienting experience. It's a humbling time that's dominated by the overriding reality of regularly recognizing that you don't just yet know what you're doing. Some people are better at navigating that time of transition than others. One thing that can certainly make the whole process of starting up with a new job that much harder is if you find yourself having to deal with an Apple computer that's been given to you by your employer, but said Apple computer was converted into applesauce. For another glorious TIFU tale check out this story about a woman who nearly pepper sprayed a man over a twin misunderstanding.

An employee ends up accidentally breaking a computer when they're fresh on a new job.
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Choosy Beggar Pitches Fit Over Getting Free HBO From Her Brother

It seems like we're destined to all share a reality where we have to put up with a relentless onslaught of entitled people and their absurd games. If you're someone who has yet to dabble with selling stuff online, you might end up walking away from reading all these choosy beggar posts with a renewed interest in continuing to not sell stuff online. There are far too many people that are more than ready to waste well meaning online sellers' time with their entitled demands. 

A choosy beggar gets upset over her brother giving her free HBO.
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Mean Step Dad Tricks Kid Out Of Laptop, Kid Takes His Car

Man, this step dad sounds like a real nasty piece of work. What kind of guy tricks his kid out of a perfectly fine laptop? Fortunately, the kid kept his wits about him, and managed to enact a true pro revenge in response. Just picturing the way that that step dad's jaw must've hit the ground when he saw the kid take that "broken" car for a joy ride around the block, is enough to make the heart swell in deep appreciation. It's also a beautiful car! 

A mean step dad tricks his kid out of a computer, so the kid tricks him out of a car | r/ProRevenge Join u/thekungfupanda 6h 1 1 1 1 4 1 Trick out my laptop give car. 13 years ago my late teens, living on my own and really struggling live financially. One few possessions had an old laptop. My laptop had stopped working properly and while fairly proficient using computer had no idea about fixing them did bit searching on internet but couldn't get working so ask my step dad take look. He has quick
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Girl Accidentally Hides Uncle's Car Keys For 7 Years

Kids can be quite devious. There's something hardwired into so many kids' brains that results in them carrying on with all kinds of mischievous, rule-breaking behavior. And then when a parent goes and introduces a reward system meant to encourage good behavior, some kids will even take the extra measure to cheat the system. In this particular scenario we have a girl who accidentally forgot about her uncle's car keys for seven years. Pretty dang hilarious. 

Girl accidentally hides her uncle's car keys for seven years.
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Escalating Feud Results In Dad Engineering Brother's Arrest

There are some family members who just should never live in the same town. Some personalities - family or not - just don't mix well with one another. On top of that, if you end up dealing with a particularly irrational individual like the uncle in this tale of a family feud, then it really ends up being a lose-lose kind of situation. It seems like the uncle was going to remain stubborn on not making the peace. If this story got you going, check out another pro revenge tale of this coworker who got fired for a workplace complaint, and then ended up coming back as the boss

An escalating feud between dad and brother results in brother's ultimate arrest.
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It's a crazy story like the one we have from comedian, Dane Cook, here that can really put into perspective how lucky some folks are to have family members that aren't complete heartless animals. Dane Cook's brother sounds like a real animal. It also seems like Dane Cook would've done everything he could have to not have sent his brother to prison, but was left with no other choice. Pretty heartbreaking stuff. 

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Cousin Tricks Family Member Into Eating Cottage Cheese

It's just plain old uncool to tamper with someone's food in a way that has you putting in an ingredient that they have no idea, nor intention of eating in the first place. In this case, it's cottage cheese. It sounds like the cousin in this scenario was determined to prove some kind of unnecessary point, but ultimately they just end up looking like the inconsiderate chef. 

A cousin tricks their family member into eating cottage cheese lasagna.
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Woman Nearly Pepper Sprays Man Over Twin Misunderstanding

Anyone who has a twin knows that having a family member who looks exactly like you can result in some hilarious, if not panic-inducing situations. It sounds like the dude on the other end of this interaction had no idea just how close he was to taking some pepper spray to the face. For some more humorous, twin-inspired content check out this AskReddit thread about the best switcharoos that twins were able to pull off

Woman nearly pepper sprays her husband over a twin misunderstanding.
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Family Complains About Pizza Sauce, Get Served Humble Pie

If you have a family member go out of their way to prepare a nice homemade meal like pizza for you, it's probably in your best interest to work real hard at not staging a whole meltdown over something like there "being too much sauce." It sounds like the chef in this scenario had hit their breaking point, and thus decided to stage their own saucy petty revenge. Check out more people's finest moments of revenge over here

Family pitches a whole fit about the pizza being too saucy, and then they get served a humbling lesson.
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Woman Wants Uncommon Baby Name, Mom Not Having It

People encounter bad baby names all the time. And while people try to name their kids stuff out of movies and commercials for pain killers, going with a traditional name is still a person's choice. Again, that's not to say there aren't baby names people needed to be talked out of, but if it's unique in a way that isn't horrid or obscene, you might be alright.

mom wants Irish baby name and her mother doesn't like it
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Tumblr Post: Brother Learns Lesson In Not Irritating The Chef

If you're going to insist on being rude to the very person that's going through the trouble of graciously whipping up a meal for you, then you're probably not going to get any food. Or, if you do get the food you'd best brace yourself for the food to be a little iffy at best. This dude clearly needed to learn his lesson in the value of respecting the person who is making you food. 

Brother learns his lesson in the value of not antagonizing the chef. | marisatomay my brother has been criticizing all day and he told if wasn't happy could go somewhere else so wouldn't ruin everyone else's dinner so took massive bowl pasta special sauce spent last 2 hours making scratch whole family and left marisatomay really is incredibly bold mercilessly criticize person who is not only making dinner but also holding knife
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Sister Loses Car Privileges, Says Her Life Is Ruined

Man oh man, anyone who has a sibling knows that drama can break out over the silliest of things. In this case, we have someone's sister pitching a full on fit after having her car privileges revoked. It sounds like she wasn't respecting the car she was graciously being allowed to use at all. So, having those car privileges revoked seems completely understandable. 

Sibling's sister loses car privileges and proceeds to say that her life is ruined.
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Dad Fires His Son for Stealing from Work

Nothing adds to the entitlement just like the whole "boss's kid" mentality. At least the dad went and did something about it. The kid even tried to frame another employee. For some more work-related foibles, here are the fastest ways people's co-workers got fired. For another kid stepping way over his bounds, here's a manipulative son who tried to sell his mom's house and cancelled her job interview.

dad fires son for stealing from job | Posted by u/E11451913 1 day ago 14 10 3 15 13 AITA firing my son? Not hole Throwaway because don't want this seen on my main account get straight issue. My M43 17 year old son Adam has been trying become independent and preparing move college but struggling find job own private warehouse as side job earn living. My wife suggested hire my son work at warehous. Moving boxes, brining workers lunch, helping with cleaning kind stuff. She said is both our benefits
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Guy Rudely Orders For Table, Gets Mocked By Server

Having dinner with the parents can go a lot of ways, but it narrows your odds of success when you interrupt mom and insist on being the server's only point of contact. Lo and behold, the server complied. Out of some misaligned sense of responsibility or self importance, this guy made himself a target right out of the gate. At least it's better than having to defeat a Karen. And at least nothing happened to the food.

a family goes out to dinner and the girl's date tries to order for the table, only to be mocked by the server
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