alcohol

When a room gets crowded, and people get hammered, they seem to think that no one could possibly hear them. That is absolutely not the case. Bartenders hear some of the most unfiltered thoughts around. If you didn't think they were listening, well they are. And sometimes even judging.

Bud Light's Super Bowl ad called out beer competitors that allegedly use corn syrup in their products. People online have expressed mixed feelings of outrage and confusion. Outside what the consumers think, the Corn Lobby Twitter account, fired off some complaints; but not before, they managed to tag both the wrong Miller Lite and Coors Light. Maybe it's in the corn syrup their drinking, but I'll tell you what; we are ALL about those little, wonderful fails. Also. The tone of the tweet, and specifically using the word, "disappointment" almost makes it feel like there's a disapproving mother on the other end of this bizarre saga. And the way this person's failing to tag the right accounts too...

Make sure to listen to the right people. Seriously, what kind of Mother-in-law hearsay superstitious bullshit is this?

What drink you order might say a lot about you. Or it might not. Either way, this is what bartenders think of you.

In all fairness some of these seem like nothing more than the blatant lies of someone jacked up on liquid courage. I mean really, a house? Dude had to have been drunk for a month+. 

Hopefully these booze-soaked degenerates learned their lessons. 

It's true, tequila makes people crazy. 

You could say the night got away from them. 

I can almost hear the booze-charged, blind drunk yells of the nearest frat house down the road, as the metallic clang of fresh-emptied kegs wipe clean the peace of an otherwise typical Thursday morning/afternoon/evening. The frat though, you know the one that always managed to clear out the nearest convenience store of all the light and cheap beers, cause drinking to excess 24/7 ain't an easy thing to budget? Yeah, well these fine displays of alcohol-induced (and/or whatever else was in their system at the time of full-on mindlessness) fail will either inspire you to turn it up to 11 this Thirsty Thursday, or just, never drink again.

With enough of that sweet booze in the system a man can make do with just about anything as his bed -- the nearest, least-clogged street gutter, the hood of a car, a barstool, the lap of the stranger barstool prophet located nearest, etc. Shame and self-awareness up and vanished sometime around the halfway mark when you decided to become best friends with a Mr. Jack Daniels. What we have here are the implications of said friendship.