absurd

Gotta love weddings. Nothing says everlasting love like photoshopping yourself and your betrothed as centaurs. Y'know, for love. If not a half horse body, how about a genie? Maybe instead of photoshop, you'd like to throw some chickens in the air? We think these folks are onto something, and we'd like to see more people treat their weddings with more absurdity. 

You'll never think of endless shrimp in quite the same way again. It starts out so wholesome, but then it becomes a rollercoaster of shrimp. With your simple wish for endless shrimp, you've doomed your future to one that is truly endless and full of shrimp. Here are some two sentence horror stories for some absurd and succinct spookiness.

Keaton Patti is a wonderfully weird writer who's behind other "bot written" scripts such as this John Wick script, as well as this Diner's Drive-Ins and Dives script. He claims that each one is written by a computer program that has consumed over a thousand hours of their respective content, but since the amount of content for each doesn't come close to a thousand hours, we're not so sure about that process. Either way, we love these.

We're huge fans of the bizarre and creative parody work of Keaton Patti (see this hilarious Bot written Olive Garden Commercial script) and the Austin Powers movies hold a nostalgic, groovy place in our hearts. So we'd imagine a cross between the two would be a pretty fantastic thing. And boy, is it.

People can be very particular, selfish creatures. Sometimes we think we'll be good with someone before realizing that our other quirks will get on their nerves so terribly that they never want to see us again. Some reasons are overly petty, some malicious, and some outright bizarre. Some people outright try to screw over their Ex. Lawyers, legal assistants and other people have collected some real weird reasons some folks had to get a divorce.

Hilariously creative writer Keaton Patti is at it again with the opening pages to a script he claims were written by a computer algorithm. He's done this before with a Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives script as well as an Olive Garden Commercial. At this point we know there is no computer program, and it's just Keaton's absurdist style, but he nails it perfectly.

Finally, a Charlie and The Chocolate Factory theory that isn't about how Grandpa Joe is guilty of disability fraud. With all the weird amount of attention this story gets on the internet, this kind of theory still makes a decent amount of sense.

Writer @KeatonPatti has given birth to these bizarre and hilarious re-captions of items found on Antiques Roadshow. He's also the mind behind numerous fake Bot-written scripts like this hilarious Olive Garden Commercial. Anyway, here are some bonkers-ass antiques.

Writer @KeatonPatti has given birth to these bizarre and hilarious re-captions of items found on Antiques Roadshow. He's also the mind behind numerous fake Bot-written scripts like this hilarious Olive Garden Commercial. Anyway, here are some bonkers-ass antiques.

Jeff Wysaski of Obvious Plant makes weird and hilarious absurdist parody products. There's a good chance you've seen some images of them floating around the internet. Here are some that made us quake with laughter.

Jeff Wysaski of Obvious Plant makes weird and hilarious absurdist parody products. There's a good chance you've seen some images of them floating around the internet. Here's a few that split our sides and lifted our spirits.

New web comic strip Hot Paper Comics is one of our favorite new comic strips of the year.

The artists taste for dark absurdity pushes all the right buttons for us.

These fantastic comics from ExtraFabulousComics are exactly that!

These expertly-crafted dark comics are going to make you raise your eyebrows in bewilderment even as you're laughing your ass off at their awesomeness.

These comic creators are probably some of the best around right now. 

These ridiculous comics from 'War and Peas' are bound to get a laugh or two out of you!

After being left in the Zimbabwe wilderness and left for dead, the strangest thing happened to this guy when he walked into his own funeral. That's no metaphor. I can't imagine a more absurd scenario. I don't think that guy will be picking up any more hitchhikers.