absurd

We live in an unfair world, but one of the great levelers is the belief that at some point in time, everyone is going to have a bad day. It's a lot harder to believe that when people and things get singled out so unfairlythat reality becomes absurd. It seems like sometimes people and things get singled outto the point that it seems comically impossible for them to catch a break.

Tumblr is like a box of chocolates. There's stuff in there you're gonna hate just as much as you like, and if you're lucky it has more than one layer. The denizens of tumblr never cork up their brains and let those random tumblr gems fly all over the place. Watch your step, the ground is just soaked through with random and stupendous tumblr gems. Please get a mop it's horrible.

Puns somehow inhabit the highest and lowest forms of humor at the same time. They're kind of like eggs. They can come in the form of fine, sought-after caviar, or they can get shot out of a chicken's ass for a dollar a dozen. There's no in between. Here are some dad jokes that go father than ever before.

We live in a world of competing wants and needs, and it's a mark of basic decency for a person to have at least some understanding of what to expect from other people. Entitled people and their absurd audacity seem hellbent on ignoring convention, taking more than their fair share, and being exceedingly rude about it all the way down. Ever had a complete stranger try to call the cops on you for not giving them your bike? The world's entitled people se no problem with it.

In what he probably thought was the big-brain scheme of the century, this guy was selling sandwiches his wife made for him at work so he could buy fast food. It's a little sad, because clearly if they're in demand, the sandwiches themselves are really good. Is this too ridiculous and petty? Is it a massive betrayal of trust? It's definitely something, so the internet judged. And how hard is it for this guy to make his own sandwiches? For another relationship food quarrel, here's a picky eater husband who demanded fancier meals.

What do you do when your washing machine breaks, sealing your wet clothes inside itself? Do you bust open the machine like a safe full of your own sopping underwear, breaking the warranty in the process? Do you let your clothes rot in their tomb and eat the cost of half your whole wardrobe? It's not an easy choice already, but slap on some wholly unaware customer service and you've got yourself a predicament. Impossible-to-win moments like this are a good reason why some customers cause scenes.

In any system that claims it pays you based on your output, it's important to know what you're worth, and 80 cents is something most people would see as an insult. This person weighed his options and decided what a better use of his time would be. It's not uncommon for employers to make workmore difficult than it has to be, as evidenced by situations that made people go "screw this, I'm out." For more shenanigans over miniscule amounts of money, here's a dude who got hounded over trivial debt and ended up mailing them a dime.

Most every parent wants to teach their kid to be self sufficient, but there's a lot of disagreement on how to get there. Some parents opt for the "tell my child to tie their shoes without telling them how" approach and needless to say, there are mixed results. Making your kid try something and fail at it is a way to make them learn, but most parents would agree it's usually better to set them up with situations where failure doesn't mean death. Traumatizing your kids may come to bite you in the end when it comes to the dumbest things people had to convince their parents not to do.

No one can deny the far-reaching presence of the absolute unit. The biggest, baddest boys in town are those absolute units brimming with authority. Those big girthy boys full of meat and moxie. It's enough to make you run and hide, or bend the knee and respect the power of the absolute unit. It's like one of those real life boss fights.

It's absurd, the things entitled people will demand. Most people have a basically realistic view of the things one should expect another person to go out of the way to do for them, but there are a select few who have no idea. Influencers will leave bad reviews for restaurants that don't give them free food. People will post a job listing for a nanny position and end up not actually paying any money. Customers will get mad that the company they buy stuff from also gives some of their product to charity. It's a wild world out there full of entitled people with their absurd audacity.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being smart. The world needs smart people. Like a lot. The problem is that dumb people have a tendency to think that they're smart. It could be caused by narcissism. It could be due to the fact that social media gives people a whole lot of space to talk about themselves. Either way these brain tyrants who think they're literal geniuses have a peculiar way of somehow being condescending and stupid at the same time. It's maddening.

Sure, the get 'er done mentality is an effective way to motivate yourself to complete tough jobs and long hours, but when it's used by your boss to justify lowering you on a backhoe over the side of a cliff, you're entering safety failure territory. Anyone with a physical job is regularly tempted or ordered to take scary shortcuts in the form of safety failures that would make OSHA faint. Gotta admit, jacking a car up with a plastic chair doesn't really seem worth it.

We all know someone who, against better judgement, will buy into the complete BS of an expensive product, and assume that the high price tag is a legitimate marker of quality. It's sad to see, but when someone spends literally any money on a rock in a bag, that's kind of on them. Here are some products that are getting more expensive and somehow worse, as well as some signs someone is trying way to hard to look rich.

There's no limits to the incredible demands of entitled folks. It could be anything like demanding that their hairstylist not have tattoos, requesting that people pay for the privilege's of taking their garbage or offering "jobs" that pay about a dollar an hour. There are oh so many flavors of entitled people with their absurd audacity, and each one is more dirt-flavored than the rest.

Puns somehow inhabit a realm of humor that's always walking the tightrope of being mind-blowingly clever or unimaginably dumb, and sometimes that distinction just comes down to how you're feeling at the time. Puns range from incredible to untellable and there's no way of knowing it's going to be good until it's said. There's just sackfuls of puns spilling all over the place.