what

UGH I CAN FEEL IT CRAWLING AND I'M JUST LOOKING AT A COMPUTER MONITOR WHAT IS GOING ON.

I mean, I love picnics, but I just hate getting my food and things next to that gross earth that I'm picnic-ing on. MY SOLUTION HAS ARRIVED.

I mean, in most circumstances. And in ALL circumstances involving being on a tightly-packed vehicle with dozens of strangers.

"So, an '80s futurist, a redneck, a douchebag, and your high school prom date walk into a bar..."

Come, let me show you the frilly dresses of my people.

Don't worry, there's a spare hairpiece in the bag just in case these first two blow out. You can never be too careful!

I spend extra money on the drawstring bags and this is what you use them for? Thanks for nothing, dude.

Fast food is starting to look a like a much more appealing option...

I mean, in the post-apocalyptic future where soda tabs are used as currency you're going to be able to buy a small nation with those things. Good work!

NOTE: The pole is not the push-up-bra of the butt world.

I'm not even sure entirely what's going on, vintage masks or Photoshop or what. All I know is, I'll be sleeping with the light on. Good night!

I mean, until that little penguin guy found out what they spliced in with his ecstasy. Things got weird after that.

Assuming I don't mistake the hair for cotton candy again. It's a recurring issue I have.

You'd pass out too if you were walking around in platform Doc Martens while dancing to bad house music all night. Don't judge!

Then again, maybe you need that tire. It looks like one of your rear wheels is balding quite a bit.