pants

Both your outfit and your position on the bus are a major safety hazard. For shame!

Oh man, I can't wait to hide snacks and treats in that extra leg. That should be usefu - WAIT A MINUTE.

Whe~n the clothes hit your eye like a big pizza pie, that's high fashion!

Insert wicked accordion solo here.

The key is skin tone shorts and a long inseam.

And if those pants don't help him impress Farrah Fawcett, nothing will.

It's harder to see, but he also has dreadlocks spun from pure silk.

And then we'll get suspenders for the saggy underwear, and the world will go on and on and spin in its crazy beautiful way.

The way we're dressing ourselves, you'd think there's a pants shortage in the United States...